" Emotionally draining, we literally sucked the life out of each other."
Do you believe or are able to conceive, in the face of your contrary experience, that it is possible for two people to graduate to ' giving life to each other,' rather than sucking, to ' enriching each other emotionally,' than draining ? Do you recall the movie sketching the life an authoress, played by Kate Winslet, and her male live - in fan, whose disappointments and spiritual crisis in later age anyone could empathise with ! On Jun 26, 7:41 pm, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote: > Truly I did have expectations, in the begining of my marriage, that > were the fairy tale type. Reality struck hard early on in our > realtionship, we were both poor and from dysfunctional backrounds. We > were very aware of the pitfalls in life and dated 4 years before > getting married. When we finally did get married, she was 5 months > pregnant. We have three children who are 4 yearrs apart in age now and > our youngest is going to be 9. We were, (and probably still are) in > love. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me so it's really hard to > explain. I know that she would have me back and I would too but it > makes absolutely no sense. There is no logical explaination I can give > but I will never allow myself to feel that way about another woman > because it is too painful. Emotionally draining, we literally sucked > the life out of each other. > > On Jun 26, 12:33 am, ashok tewari <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > It does, Slip, but does not indicate if the case was one of fairy tale > > expectations from relationships in ' love,' to start with. > > > On Sat, Jun 26, 2010 at 5:00 AM, Slip Disc <[email protected]> wrote: > > > All cultural disparity aside, Vam, the "imho" (in my humble opinion) > > > clearly indicates the subjectivity in the statement. > > > > On Jun 25, 4:49 pm, vamadevananda <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > " Imho, being 'in love' is, as Arch says, a fairy tale." > > > > > Wouldn't it be more accurate to state that of ' love,' as you or Arch > > > > understand or mean it ! ? It would be a great service to let your > > > > readers know that and, better still, to actually state what you > > > > understand or what your ' love ' means to you, as in what it does to > > > > you, how it affects you, what place it has in your hierarchy of > > > > values ? > > > > > For instance, if you've fallen for the fairy tale kind of love, you > > > > will end up with disappointments appropriate to fairy tale kind of > > > > love ! > > > > > And, this isn't semantics. > > > > > On Jun 25, 7:29 pm, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > I guess depending on how fast you want to travel it could be both! I' > > > > > have been reluctant to reply to this thread but I do share some of > > > > > your views PSK. Truth is that I have been married for close to 20 > > > > > years now but I have not lived with my wife for clos to 5 years. We > > > > > are both much happier than we were when we lived together. I have had > > > > > a few long term relationships since and they were just too much for me > > > > > personally. I have a GF now and she wants to pin me down, I feel > > > > > smothered. We lived together for a while and I wound up excomunicating > > > > > her from the solice of my abode. We are still 'together' but during > > > > > the course of our 1 year relationship I have had (and still do have) a > > > > > few different partners including her best friend who has shared our > > > > > bed on different occasions. She want's monagamy until we GET MARRIED! > > > > > Imagine that! I'm still married to the mother of my children and I > > > > > don't see that changing. Polyamorous relationships ARE possible but it > > > > > takes complete transparancy and a strong commitment to your > > > > > 'significant' other. I, however transparent I may be, can only be > > > > > commited to being a father and a good friend! I love her and all of > > > > > the women who I have 'known' equally. The love that some women require > > > > > I cannot and will not provide. Too emotional and without logic! Imho, > > > > > being 'in love' is, as Arch says, a fairy tale. > > > > > > On Jun 25, 5:33 am, "pol.science kid" <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > Thats the beauty isnt it..our own separatre roads..running parrallel > > > to some > > > > > > at some point departing ..reconnecting again...intersecting with > > > some...or > > > > > > is it more like a river... > > > > > > > On Fri, Jun 25, 2010 at 12:09 PM, vamadevananda < > > > [email protected]>wrote: > > > > > > > > You have to take your own journey forward, your way, with your > > > desires > > > > > > > and ideas, and your suppositions or beliefs. That learning curve > > > can > > > > > > > hardly be progressed upon by wishing, opinionation or > > > > > > > argumentation > > > on > > > > > > > a discussion forum. Make your choices, have the experience, and > > > know > > > > > > > and conclude for yourself ! > > > > > > > > I've stated my conclusions, from my experience and understanding. > > > > > > > > On Jun 25, 11:19 am, "pol.science kid" <[email protected]> > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > and is it not possible to celebrate that oneness in the > > > multitudes.. why > > > > > > > > settle down.. i do not say.. have a string of affairs...wat i am > > > saying > > > > > > > here > > > > > > > > is.. that completeness can come by sharing with more than one.. > > > two does > > > > > > > not > > > > > > > > always have to form a single unit.. it can be three or four or > > > > > > > watever...wat > > > > > > > > we are told mostly.. there is the one for you...but that is not > > > wat i > > > > > > > want > > > > > > > > to believe nor will i believe it.. it is circumstances that make > > > us > > > > > > > settle > > > > > > > > for one... > > > > > > > > > On Thu, Jun 24, 2010 at 4:09 PM, vamadevananda < > > > [email protected] > > > > > > > >wrote: > > > > > > > > > > The point, Kid, is in this oneness we see everywhere, as in > > > apparent > > > > > > > > > unit systems such as you and I, a pond or mountain, a pig and > > > > > > > > > a > > > tree, > > > > > > > > > atom or organs. There is one - ness, unity, evident in each > > > > > > > > > individuation, having a form and qualities, properties and > > > aspects, > > > > > > > > > character or personality ... individualised being. > > > > > > > > > > The diversity of such ' ones ' is mind boggling. But we come > > > > > > > > > to > > > see > > > > > > > > > their interconnections as we widen our scale of view, over > > > space and > > > > > > > > > time. And lo, we discover other ' units ' in biospheres, > > > Himalayas, > > > > > > > > > oceans, continents ... earth, solar systems, galaxies ... > > > universe. > > > > > > > > > The universe is the One ... Universe. > > > > > > > > > > In the context of your post, ALL of us have problems with > > > settling > > > > > > > > > down with one, or as One. But since they are each in the same > > > line of > > > > > > > > > truth, some of us see the merit in each, try hard to retain in > > > memory > > > > > > > > > all the time, untill the segregating or dissipating forces in > > > our > > > > > > > > > psychic world relent and let our experience and understanding > > > > > > > > > complete. > > > > > > > > > > I have spoken of our higher nature and I am partial towards > > > > > > > > > it. > > > That's > > > > > > > > > when we are comfortable with one, as one. Studies in clinical > > > > > > > > > psychology and psychosomatics, yoga and meditation, confirm > > > > > > > > > the > > > > > > > > > wellness it offers. That leaves you free and uncluttered, > > > > > > > > > happy > > > and > > > > > > > > > good. Even officials in the police department respect that. > > > > > > > > > > At any point in time, not everybody is capable of it; some > > > might not > > > > > > > > > want it. And many are not aware of it, at least enough to > > > choose > > > > > > > > > it ! > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 24, 2:36 am, "pol.science kid" <[email protected]> > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > and your point is?? > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 23, 1:33 am, vamadevananda <[email protected]> > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you know what a system ( closed or open ) is, Kid ? > > > > > > > > > > > > The Universe is a system ( not sure if it closed or open > > > > > > > > > > > ), > > > in > > > > > > > which > > > > > > > > > > > everything else is included. It is One, quite apart from > > > each being > > > > > > > or > > > > > > > > > > > all beings it includes, not excluding the ones now or yet > > > > > > > unmanifest ! > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 22, 1:26 am, "pol.science kid" < > > > [email protected]> > > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > I have a hard time believing when someone tells me that > > > they have > > > > > > > > > > > > found the one... what does it mean anyway..The one.. why > > > does it > > > > > > > > > thave > > > > > > > > > > > > to be one...I believe that people can and do fall in > > > > > > > > > > > > love > > > with > > > > > > > more > > > > > > > > > > > > than one person at the same time...and that is why i am > > > opposed > > > > > > > to > > > > > > > > > > > > marriage as an institution...a promise to be with each > > > other > > > > > > > > > > > > forever!...I think open relationships are much > > > better..there is > > > > > > > no > > > > > > > > > > > > emotional burden...Also sexual and emotional intimacy > > > does not > > > > > > > always > > > > > > > > > > > > have to be in one single package.. i do not see adultery > > > as > > > > > > > something > > > > > > > > > > > > horrible...and i really resented the way media made an > > > example of > > > > > > > > > > > > Tiger woods and his many affairs...so wat he slept with > > > many > > > > > > > women.. > > > > > > > > > > > > its not like they didnt know who he was and that he was > > > > > > > married...The > > > > > > > > > > > > fact that religion penetrated and dictated every aspect > > > of > > > > > > > individual > > > > > > > > > > > > lives still shows its effects...sex is something sacred > > > and at > > > > > > > the > > > > > > > > > > > > same time tabboed(although some countries have come to > > > take > > > > > > > liberal > > > > > > > > > > > > views there are still many orthodox societies)... its a > > > natural > > > > > > > > > > > > instinct why make something else out of it...its like > > > hunger..The > > > > > > > > > more > > > > > > > > > > > > you try to regulate it the more you pervert it...the > > > > > > > > > > > > fact > > > that > > > > > > > > > > > > teenagers are told to abstain should only be because of > > > health > > > > > > > > > reasons > > > > > > > > > > > > not because premarital sex is a sin...It > > ... > > read more »
