Iris murdoch? On Sat, Jun 26, 2010 at 10:24 PM, vamadevananda <[email protected]>wrote:
> " Emotionally draining, we literally sucked the life out of each > other." > > Do you believe or are able to conceive, in the face of your contrary > experience, that it is possible for two people to graduate to ' giving > life to each other,' rather than sucking, to ' enriching each other > emotionally,' than draining ? > > Do you recall the movie sketching the life an authoress, played by > Kate Winslet, and her male live - in fan, whose disappointments and > spiritual crisis in later age anyone could empathise with ! > > On Jun 26, 7:41 pm, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote: > > Truly I did have expectations, in the begining of my marriage, that > > were the fairy tale type. Reality struck hard early on in our > > realtionship, we were both poor and from dysfunctional backrounds. We > > were very aware of the pitfalls in life and dated 4 years before > > getting married. When we finally did get married, she was 5 months > > pregnant. We have three children who are 4 yearrs apart in age now and > > our youngest is going to be 9. We were, (and probably still are) in > > love. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me so it's really hard to > > explain. I know that she would have me back and I would too but it > > makes absolutely no sense. There is no logical explaination I can give > > but I will never allow myself to feel that way about another woman > > because it is too painful. Emotionally draining, we literally sucked > > the life out of each other. > > > > On Jun 26, 12:33 am, ashok tewari <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > It does, Slip, but does not indicate if the case was one of fairy tale > > > expectations from relationships in ' love,' to start with. > > > > > On Sat, Jun 26, 2010 at 5:00 AM, Slip Disc <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > All cultural disparity aside, Vam, the "imho" (in my humble opinion) > > > > clearly indicates the subjectivity in the statement. > > > > > > On Jun 25, 4:49 pm, vamadevananda <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > " Imho, being 'in love' is, as Arch says, a fairy tale." > > > > > > > Wouldn't it be more accurate to state that of ' love,' as you or > Arch > > > > > understand or mean it ! ? It would be a great service to let your > > > > > readers know that and, better still, to actually state what you > > > > > understand or what your ' love ' means to you, as in what it does > to > > > > > you, how it affects you, what place it has in your hierarchy of > > > > > values ? > > > > > > > For instance, if you've fallen for the fairy tale kind of love, you > > > > > will end up with disappointments appropriate to fairy tale kind of > > > > > love ! > > > > > > > And, this isn't semantics. > > > > > > > On Jun 25, 7:29 pm, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> > wrote: > > > > > > > > I guess depending on how fast you want to travel it could be > both! I' > > > > > > have been reluctant to reply to this thread but I do share some > of > > > > > > your views PSK. Truth is that I have been married for close to 20 > > > > > > years now but I have not lived with my wife for clos to 5 years. > We > > > > > > are both much happier than we were when we lived together. I have > had > > > > > > a few long term relationships since and they were just too much > for me > > > > > > personally. I have a GF now and she wants to pin me down, I feel > > > > > > smothered. We lived together for a while and I wound up > excomunicating > > > > > > her from the solice of my abode. We are still 'together' but > during > > > > > > the course of our 1 year relationship I have had (and still do > have) a > > > > > > few different partners including her best friend who has shared > our > > > > > > bed on different occasions. She want's monagamy until we GET > MARRIED! > > > > > > Imagine that! I'm still married to the mother of my children and > I > > > > > > don't see that changing. Polyamorous relationships ARE possible > but it > > > > > > takes complete transparancy and a strong commitment to your > > > > > > 'significant' other. I, however transparent I may be, can only be > > > > > > commited to being a father and a good friend! I love her and all > of > > > > > > the women who I have 'known' equally. The love that some women > require > > > > > > I cannot and will not provide. Too emotional and without logic! > Imho, > > > > > > being 'in love' is, as Arch says, a fairy tale. > > > > > > > > On Jun 25, 5:33 am, "pol.science kid" <[email protected]> > wrote: > > > > > > > > > Thats the beauty isnt it..our own separatre roads..running > parrallel > > > > to some > > > > > > > at some point departing ..reconnecting again...intersecting > with > > > > some...or > > > > > > > is it more like a river... > > > > > > > > > On Fri, Jun 25, 2010 at 12:09 PM, vamadevananda < > > > > [email protected]>wrote: > > > > > > > > > > You have to take your own journey forward, your way, with > your > > > > desires > > > > > > > > and ideas, and your suppositions or beliefs. That learning > curve > > > > can > > > > > > > > hardly be progressed upon by wishing, opinionation or > argumentation > > > > on > > > > > > > > a discussion forum. Make your choices, have the experience, > and > > > > know > > > > > > > > and conclude for yourself ! > > > > > > > > > > I've stated my conclusions, from my experience and > understanding. > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 25, 11:19 am, "pol.science kid" <[email protected] > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > and is it not possible to celebrate that oneness in the > > > > multitudes.. why > > > > > > > > > settle down.. i do not say.. have a string of affairs...wat > i am > > > > saying > > > > > > > > here > > > > > > > > > is.. that completeness can come by sharing with more than > one.. > > > > two does > > > > > > > > not > > > > > > > > > always have to form a single unit.. it can be three or four > or > > > > > > > > watever...wat > > > > > > > > > we are told mostly.. there is the one for you...but that is > not > > > > wat i > > > > > > > > want > > > > > > > > > to believe nor will i believe it.. it is circumstances that > make > > > > us > > > > > > > > settle > > > > > > > > > for one... > > > > > > > > > > > On Thu, Jun 24, 2010 at 4:09 PM, vamadevananda < > > > > [email protected] > > > > > > > > >wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > The point, Kid, is in this oneness we see everywhere, as > in > > > > apparent > > > > > > > > > > unit systems such as you and I, a pond or mountain, a pig > and a > > > > tree, > > > > > > > > > > atom or organs. There is one - ness, unity, evident in > each > > > > > > > > > > individuation, having a form and qualities, properties > and > > > > aspects, > > > > > > > > > > character or personality ... individualised being. > > > > > > > > > > > > The diversity of such ' ones ' is mind boggling. But we > come to > > > > see > > > > > > > > > > their interconnections as we widen our scale of view, > over > > > > space and > > > > > > > > > > time. And lo, we discover other ' units ' in biospheres, > > > > Himalayas, > > > > > > > > > > oceans, continents ... earth, solar systems, galaxies ... > > > > universe. > > > > > > > > > > The universe is the One ... Universe. > > > > > > > > > > > > In the context of your post, ALL of us have problems with > > > > settling > > > > > > > > > > down with one, or as One. But since they are each in the > same > > > > line of > > > > > > > > > > truth, some of us see the merit in each, try hard to > retain in > > > > memory > > > > > > > > > > all the time, untill the segregating or dissipating > forces in > > > > our > > > > > > > > > > psychic world relent and let our experience and > understanding > > > > > > > > > > complete. > > > > > > > > > > > > I have spoken of our higher nature and I am partial > towards it. > > > > That's > > > > > > > > > > when we are comfortable with one, as one. Studies in > clinical > > > > > > > > > > psychology and psychosomatics, yoga and meditation, > confirm the > > > > > > > > > > wellness it offers. That leaves you free and uncluttered, > happy > > > > and > > > > > > > > > > good. Even officials in the police department respect > that. > > > > > > > > > > > > At any point in time, not everybody is capable of it; > some > > > > might not > > > > > > > > > > want it. And many are not aware of it, at least enough to > > > > choose > > > > > > > > > > it ! > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 24, 2:36 am, "pol.science kid" < > [email protected]> > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > and your point is?? > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 23, 1:33 am, vamadevananda < > [email protected]> > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you know what a system ( closed or open ) is, Kid > ? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The Universe is a system ( not sure if it closed or > open ), > > > > in > > > > > > > > which > > > > > > > > > > > > everything else is included. It is One, quite apart > from > > > > each being > > > > > > > > or > > > > > > > > > > > > all beings it includes, not excluding the ones now or > yet > > > > > > > > unmanifest ! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 22, 1:26 am, "pol.science kid" < > > > > [email protected]> > > > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I have a hard time believing when someone tells me > that > > > > they have > > > > > > > > > > > > > found the one... what does it mean anyway..The > one.. why > > > > does it > > > > > > > > > > thave > > > > > > > > > > > > > to be one...I believe that people can and do fall > in love > > > > with > > > > > > > > more > > > > > > > > > > > > > than one person at the same time...and that is why > i am > > > > opposed > > > > > > > > to > > > > > > > > > > > > > marriage as an institution...a promise to be with > each > > > > other > > > > > > > > > > > > > forever!...I think open relationships are much > > > > better..there is > > > > > > > > no > > > > > > > > > > > > > emotional burden...Also sexual and emotional > intimacy > > > > does not > > > > > > > > always > > > > > > > > > > > > > have to be in one single package.. i do not see > adultery > > > > as > > > > > > > > something > > > > > > > > > > > > > horrible...and i really resented the way media made > an > > > > example of > > > > > > > > > > > > > Tiger woods and his many affairs...so wat he slept > with > > > > many > > > > > > > > women.. > > > > > > > > > > > > > its not like they didnt know who he was and that he > was > > > > > > > > married...The > > > > > > > > > > > > > fact that religion penetrated and dictated every > aspect > > > > of > > > > > > > > individual > > > > > > > > > > > > > lives still shows its effects...sex is something > sacred > > > > and at > > > > > > > > the > > > > > > > > > > > > > same time tabboed(although some countries have come > to > > > > take > > > > > > > > liberal > > > > > > > > > > > > > views there are still many orthodox societies)... > its a > > > > natural > > > > > > > > > > > > > instinct why make something else out of it...its > like > > > > hunger..The > > > > > > > > > > more > > > > > > > > > > > > > you try to regulate it the more you pervert > it...the fact > > > > that > > > > > > > > > > > > > teenagers are told to abstain should only be > because of > > > > health > > > > > > > > > > reasons > > > > > > > > > > > > > not because premarital sex is a sin...It > > > > ... > > > > read more ยป -- \--/ Peace
