" I have turned my emotional switch to 0." We all do that. And can never succeed, because emotions are another name of human experience. They are ours.
Yes, some of us are better off without life partner relationships. Mostly, for the sake of the other. Rarely, for oneself ... for some higher priority we must pursue. On Jun 27, 11:18 pm, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote: > Spiritual Crisis? Yes I believe you may be correct in your > observation. I think I have developed a willful ignorance or lack of > empathy when it comes to emotions. I have tried to share my feelings > to no avail and have been left dissapointed and feeling broken. So in > an attenpt to heal I have turned my emotional switch to 0. I can see > my own spiritual crisis and do not wish to have the responsibility of > someone elses 'baggage' as rigsy03 has pointed out. After our > seperation I tryed again to no avail and yet I still try to make that > connection and keep hitting the same brick wall. I know the answer > lies within myself but I'm not sure if I want to know it. I guess I > like living in the dillusion that I am fine being alone in life. I > know that is never true as we all have each other but I am refering to > a permanant mate and partner in life. It's too easy for me to give up > on the idea rather than trying so hard and fighting to keep a > relationship. I know too well that there are many fish in the sea and > I love seafood. > > On Jun 26, 12:54 pm, vamadevananda <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > " Emotionally draining, we literally sucked the life out of each > > other." > > > Do you believe or are able to conceive, in the face of your contrary > > experience, that it is possible for two people to graduate to ' giving > > life to each other,' rather than sucking, to ' enriching each other > > emotionally,' than draining ? > > > Do you recall the movie sketching the life an authoress, played by > > Kate Winslet, and her male live - in fan, whose disappointments and > > spiritual crisis in later age anyone could empathise with ! > > > On Jun 26, 7:41 pm, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > Truly I did have expectations, in the begining of my marriage, that > > > were the fairy tale type. Reality struck hard early on in our > > > realtionship, we were both poor and from dysfunctional backrounds. We > > > were very aware of the pitfalls in life and dated 4 years before > > > getting married. When we finally did get married, she was 5 months > > > pregnant. We have three children who are 4 yearrs apart in age now and > > > our youngest is going to be 9. We were, (and probably still are) in > > > love. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me so it's really hard to > > > explain. I know that she would have me back and I would too but it > > > makes absolutely no sense. There is no logical explaination I can give > > > but I will never allow myself to feel that way about another woman > > > because it is too painful. Emotionally draining, we literally sucked > > > the life out of each other. > > > > On Jun 26, 12:33 am, ashok tewari <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > It does, Slip, but does not indicate if the case was one of fairy tale > > > > expectations from relationships in ' love,' to start with. > > > > > On Sat, Jun 26, 2010 at 5:00 AM, Slip Disc <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > All cultural disparity aside, Vam, the "imho" (in my humble opinion) > > > > > clearly indicates the subjectivity in the statement. > > > > > > On Jun 25, 4:49 pm, vamadevananda <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > " Imho, being 'in love' is, as Arch says, a fairy tale." > > > > > > > Wouldn't it be more accurate to state that of ' love,' as you or > > > > > > Arch > > > > > > understand or mean it ! ? It would be a great service to let your > > > > > > readers know that and, better still, to actually state what you > > > > > > understand or what your ' love ' means to you, as in what it does to > > > > > > you, how it affects you, what place it has in your hierarchy of > > > > > > values ? > > > > > > > For instance, if you've fallen for the fairy tale kind of love, you > > > > > > will end up with disappointments appropriate to fairy tale kind of > > > > > > love ! > > > > > > > And, this isn't semantics. > > > > > > > On Jun 25, 7:29 pm, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > I guess depending on how fast you want to travel it could be > > > > > > > both! I' > > > > > > > have been reluctant to reply to this thread but I do share some of > > > > > > > your views PSK. Truth is that I have been married for close to 20 > > > > > > > years now but I have not lived with my wife for clos to 5 years. > > > > > > > We > > > > > > > are both much happier than we were when we lived together. I have > > > > > > > had > > > > > > > a few long term relationships since and they were just too much > > > > > > > for me > > > > > > > personally. I have a GF now and she wants to pin me down, I feel > > > > > > > smothered. We lived together for a while and I wound up > > > > > > > excomunicating > > > > > > > her from the solice of my abode. We are still 'together' but > > > > > > > during > > > > > > > the course of our 1 year relationship I have had (and still do > > > > > > > have) a > > > > > > > few different partners including her best friend who has shared > > > > > > > our > > > > > > > bed on different occasions. She want's monagamy until we GET > > > > > > > MARRIED! > > > > > > > Imagine that! I'm still married to the mother of my children and I > > > > > > > don't see that changing. Polyamorous relationships ARE possible > > > > > > > but it > > > > > > > takes complete transparancy and a strong commitment to your > > > > > > > 'significant' other. I, however transparent I may be, can only be > > > > > > > commited to being a father and a good friend! I love her and all > > > > > > > of > > > > > > > the women who I have 'known' equally. The love that some women > > > > > > > require > > > > > > > I cannot and will not provide. Too emotional and without logic! > > > > > > > Imho, > > > > > > > being 'in love' is, as Arch says, a fairy tale. > > > > > > > > On Jun 25, 5:33 am, "pol.science kid" <[email protected]> > > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > Thats the beauty isnt it..our own separatre roads..running > > > > > > > > parrallel > > > > > to some > > > > > > > > at some point departing ..reconnecting again...intersecting with > > > > > some...or > > > > > > > > is it more like a river... > > > > > > > > > On Fri, Jun 25, 2010 at 12:09 PM, vamadevananda < > > > > > [email protected]>wrote: > > > > > > > > > > You have to take your own journey forward, your way, with your > > > > > desires > > > > > > > > > and ideas, and your suppositions or beliefs. That learning > > > > > > > > > curve > > > > > can > > > > > > > > > hardly be progressed upon by wishing, opinionation or > > > > > > > > > argumentation > > > > > on > > > > > > > > > a discussion forum. Make your choices, have the experience, > > > > > > > > > and > > > > > know > > > > > > > > > and conclude for yourself ! > > > > > > > > > > I've stated my conclusions, from my experience and > > > > > > > > > understanding. > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 25, 11:19 am, "pol.science kid" <[email protected]> > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > and is it not possible to celebrate that oneness in the > > > > > multitudes.. why > > > > > > > > > > settle down.. i do not say.. have a string of affairs...wat > > > > > > > > > > i am > > > > > saying > > > > > > > > > here > > > > > > > > > > is.. that completeness can come by sharing with more than > > > > > > > > > > one.. > > > > > two does > > > > > > > > > not > > > > > > > > > > always have to form a single unit.. it can be three or four > > > > > > > > > > or > > > > > > > > > watever...wat > > > > > > > > > > we are told mostly.. there is the one for you...but that is > > > > > > > > > > not > > > > > wat i > > > > > > > > > want > > > > > > > > > > to believe nor will i believe it.. it is circumstances that > > > > > > > > > > make > > > > > us > > > > > > > > > settle > > > > > > > > > > for one... > > > > > > > > > > > On Thu, Jun 24, 2010 at 4:09 PM, vamadevananda < > > > > > [email protected] > > > > > > > > > >wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > The point, Kid, is in this oneness we see everywhere, as > > > > > > > > > > > in > > > > > apparent > > > > > > > > > > > unit systems such as you and I, a pond or mountain, a pig > > > > > > > > > > > and a > > > > > tree, > > > > > > > > > > > atom or organs. There is one - ness, unity, evident in > > > > > > > > > > > each > > > > > > > > > > > individuation, having a form and qualities, properties and > > > > > aspects, > > > > > > > > > > > character or personality ... individualised being. > > > > > > > > > > > > The diversity of such ' ones ' is mind boggling. But we > > > > > > > > > > > come to > > > > > see > > > > > > > > > > > their interconnections as we widen our scale of view, over > > > > > space and > > > > > > > > > > > time. And lo, we discover other ' units ' in biospheres, > > > > > Himalayas, > > > > > > > > > > > oceans, continents ... earth, solar systems, galaxies ... > > > > > universe. > > > > > > > > > > > The universe is the One ... Universe. > > > > > > > > > > > > In the context of your post, ALL of us have problems with > > > > > settling > > > > > > > > > > > down with one, or as One. But since they are each in the > > > > > > > > > > > same > > > > > line of > > > > > > > > > > > truth, some of us see the merit in each, try hard to > > > > > > > > > > > retain in > > > > > memory > > > > > > > > > > > all the time, untill the segregating or dissipating > > > > > > > > > > > forces in > > > > > our > > > > > > > > > > > psychic world relent and let our experience and > > > > > > > > > > > understanding > > > > > > > > > > > complete. > > > > > > > > > > > > I have spoken of our higher nature and I am partial > > > > > > > > > > > towards it. > > > > > That's > > > > > > > > > > > when we are comfortable with one, as one. Studies in > > > > > > > > > > > clinical > > > > > > > > > > > psychology and psychosomatics, yoga and meditation, > > > > > > > > > > > confirm the > > > > > > > > > > > wellness it offers. That leaves you free and uncluttered, > > > > > > > > > > > happy > > > > > and > > > > > > > > > > > good. Even officials in the police department respect > > > > > > > > > > > that. > > > > > > > > > > > > At any point in time, not everybody is capable of it; some > > > > > might not > > > > > > > > > > > want it. And many are not aware of it, at least enough to > > > > > choose > > > > > > > > > > > it ! > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 24, 2:36 am, "pol.science kid" > > > > > > > > > > > <[email protected]> > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > and your point is?? > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 23, 1:33 am, vamadevananda > > > > > > > > > > > > <[email protected]> > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you know what a system ( closed or open ) is, Kid ? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The Universe is a system ( not sure if it closed or > > > > > > > > > > > > > open ), > > > > > in > > ... > > read more »
