The current model of "friendship" is hysteria- a full calendar, excitment, etc. (Think "Sex in the City") and the lulls of life seem dull by comparison. I still remember college- it drove me into marriage! :-) No- I drove myself, actually.//Anyway, all these different bonds are a new "library" on the many forms of friendship and love. Not sure if you can expect perfection in any relationship re envy/competition, except to prepare for it and learn how to deal with it- gracefully or abruptly.
On Jun 20, 11:41 am, "pol.science kid" <[email protected]> wrote: > you know.... i do have one friend that i can call at 3 am...or perhaps > all my colg mates cos we rarely sleep at nite;-)....but ....i think > what i wanted to know was perhaps breaking down to individual > relationships.. friendships diffusing into love...now lets not discuss > love cos thats can be pandoras box ...... but think about different > bonds..and levels of connect...for example the bond between a teacher > and student...i dont mean a spiritual teacher...any one.... unlikely > friendships... i know some people...who are more emotionally dependent > on some certain friend than they are on their spouse... our literature > and popular media basically blow out of proportion the focus on > romantic relationships...focussing on it as the main and basic > relationship... sometimes that ultimate bond could be found in ones > own family....i may sound to have the greek idea in mind..or medieval > but...whatever.... although slowly it ceases to be a question ..... > but i wouls still like to know what you guys think about it .... and i > will also admit here...without sounding too mawkish..i have much > gratitude for this group and members of course..esp the regular > ones..i visit other groups but this is the one for my midnight > contemplations... to try to > refine further... to be able to develop an idea with someone... does > it necessary lead to jealousy regarding the idea.... i have in mind > friendships of some philosophers..... > On Jun 20, 3:28 pm, rigsy03 <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > One of my favorite books might sound strange but it helped me a lot- > > esp. when a very dear friend died of a stroke in his 40's and I was > > stunned- sat at the dining room table and did large puzzles for a long > > time but also during other changes. Anyway- see if this is still in > > print if you are interested: "Necessary Losses: The Loves, Illusions, > > Dependencies and Impossible Expectations That All of Us Have to Give > > Up in Order to Grow" by Judith Viorst. I think that's where I read the > > line about that 3 am phone call. > > > On Jun 19, 4:52 pm, "pol.science kid" <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > a few days back i read some post somewhere about the lack of > > > literature on friendship in philosophy mainly...and how it has been > > > ignored and so on.... so it got me thinking about the whole > > > affair...Friendship.... i asked myself who my friends were...i am very > > > casual in calling people my friends... in fact i realised i didnt > > > really pay much attention to it.... the word i mean... i wouldnt know > > > who to call my best friend...or a close and intimate friend... > > > because..it happens so to the person whom i would reveal my dearest > > > thoughts would be a relative stranger..in fact i dont do it > > > much...share thoughts..personal ones...i do it here but... maybe > > > because of the anonymity it lends.... plus i tend to outgrow some > > > friends... i know it sounds horrible..i dont really do it on > > > purpose..outgrow would mean... gradually losing touch...after i move > > > or something... i am sorry i dont want to make this some sort of > > > confession...but there are so many questions that confront and rack my > > > brain sometimes.... is it later in life that one makes real > > > friends...i mean after youve left that peer space...school or > > > college...l in fact leave that...its not that significant... I once > > > decided that Friendship is a vague term altogether... there are > > > individual relationships...each having a different bearing... like a > > > security personnel at your college gate... you get the point... I know > > > this is a very vast topic.and i cant really analyse it right now cos > > > this is a kind of spontaneous typing....so let me get to another > > > point.... like i mentioned above i seem careless of friends...but yet > > > i sometimes complain of the loneliness... which can be suffocating... > > > and yet i draw a line and withdraw if any relation touches on lines of > > > very personal.... i think one regards personal what one considers > > > sacred... like ones thoughts..contemplations... my question is....is > > > it possible to bond with Another... in an aristotelian way... because > > > i believe one can give ones life for someone but still be out of > > > something very impersonal.... are there some ...too self > > > absorbed...that it is almost impossible to connect on that level... it > > > is strange i have such high demands for any 'connection'...and yet i > > > am convinced there is no way i can really be with another according to > > > my standard... this must be awfully confusing... but there are many > > > smart people here ho might get the basic point..... > > > who is a friend? > > > can one really defeat the loneliness or is this loneliness only > > > immaturity on the souls part...... > > > the question is now to you my 'friends'...convince me for something if > > > you will.........- Hide quoted text - > > > - Show quoted text -- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text -
