On Sep 13, 2010, at 7:23 AM, Ian wrote:

> No I don't think it' particularly British. If I was to generalize, I might 
> say it was oriental - avoiding embarassing the people you deal with - I 
> happen to think it's actually a human trait. And don't forget it's only an 
> adage, not an axiom.
> 
> First reaction should be to tackle personal difficulties, personally. But, 
> that's not a cover for opression or hegemony. Anyone having their "heart" 
> ignored has a right to make their argument public, but that's not the same as 
> saying all dirty washing should be aired in public.
> 
> I happen to see making private contact as a sign of effort - interpreting as 
> Machiavellian or manipulative is in the eyes of a recipient with attitude, 
> rather than the sender, 9 times out of 10.
> 
> Ian

 
Ian, 

Not all private contact is a sign of effort.  Some of it is mean-spirited.   
Maybe in this case it shouldn't have been my call, but...   

After my husband died I hooked up with a group of people I really liked.  They 
were each really good and interesting individuals, but after a year they all 
seemed to have something negative to say about other group members 'in 
private'.   Like I said, not all private contact is a sign of effort.   


Marsha 



 
 
> 
> 
> On 13 Sep 2010, at 12:01, MarshaV <[email protected]> wrote:
> 
>> 
>> Hey Ian,
>> 
>> Not meaning to offend, isn't your "Bad news in private, good news in public" 
>> an English (My mother's side is English.) perspective.  If you were from a 
>> southern European country, might your perspective be different?  And I 
>> remember during the 1970s, there was a prominent slogan within the Women's 
>> Movement that the personal was political.  Being of German/English heritage, 
>> I can suffer greatly for exposing my feelings.
>> 
>> Marsha
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> On Sep 13, 2010, at 6:16 AM, Ian wrote:
>> 
>>> Marsha, John, I hate to be the one defending dmb but offlist traffic is 
>>> good, when the subject matter is personal, for anyone concerned with 
>>> positive progress over damaging individuals.
>>> 
>>> Bad news in private, good news in public is my own working adage, and 
>>> offlist mail is not unusual for you either Marsha, which is the only reason 
>>> you were mentioned ?
>>> 
>>> DMB's style is dmb's style, on or offlist. Like his style or not, he's 
>>> consistent.
>>> 
>>> Ian
>>> 
>> 
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