Hi John, when the emotions settle, I'd like to argue with opensource
society being the magic bullet - we're having too much of a good
thing. For now we agree, full public disclosure isn't everything you
said, I said not all dirty washing should be aired in public. Shame is
not the issue.
Ian
Sent from my iPhone
On 13 Sep 2010, at 19:01, John Carl <[email protected]> wrote:
I agree with you Marsha, although with my own perspective and a bit
of extra
intensity. I think in all things that ultimately, an open source
society
holds the key to many ills. Men hide because of shame. With no
shame,
there is no hiding. And in an interesting way, if you stop hiding,
you stop
being ashamed. It's actually healing. And I'm a big fan.
Not that "full disclosure" is always the Quality thing to do.
Heavens no!
Nobody is interested in anyone else's bowel movements.... (well I
dunno,
maybe frank...) you gotta pick and choose for goodness sake. Try
and stick
to what's important. That's my motto.
Right now moving my family out of our domicile of 18 years is much
on MY
mind. Talk about changing static patterns! I wonder if part of the
reason
I've driven them all out is so they can get at least a small taste
of that
scourge of mine and Lu's early existence, moving a lot.
With her it was really horrendous, what with the continent-hopping
cultural
shifts from Industrial England, to Africa, to Mauritius and then
back to
England, then New Jersey, then the strangest continent of all -
California.
So it's reasonable to see how she especially wanted to stay put for
a while,
even past the stage of reasonableness.
Packin' John
On Mon, Sep 13, 2010 at 4:33 AM, MarshaV <[email protected]> wrote:
On Sep 13, 2010, at 7:23 AM, Ian wrote:
No I don't think it' particularly British. If I was to generalize, I
might say it was oriental - avoiding embarassing the people you
deal with -
I happen to think it's actually a human trait. And don't forget
it's only an
adage, not an axiom.
First reaction should be to tackle personal difficulties,
personally.
But, that's not a cover for opression or hegemony. Anyone having
their
"heart" ignored has a right to make their argument public, but
that's not
the same as saying all dirty washing should be aired in public.
I happen to see making private contact as a sign of effort -
interpreting
as Machiavellian or manipulative is in the eyes of a recipient with
attitude, rather than the sender, 9 times out of 10.
Ian
Ian,
Not all private contact is a sign of effort. Some of it is mean-
spirited.
Maybe in this case it shouldn't have been my call, but...
After my husband died I hooked up with a group of people I really
liked.
They were each really good and interesting individuals, but after a
year
they all seemed to have something negative to say about other group
members
'in private'. Like I said, not all private contact is a sign of
effort.
Marsha
On 13 Sep 2010, at 12:01, MarshaV <[email protected]> wrote:
Hey Ian,
Not meaning to offend, isn't your "Bad news in private, good news
in
public" an English (My mother's side is English.) perspective. If
you were
from a southern European country, might your perspective be
different? And
I remember during the 1970s, there was a prominent slogan within
the Women's
Movement that the personal was political. Being of German/English
heritage,
I can suffer greatly for exposing my feelings.
Marsha
On Sep 13, 2010, at 6:16 AM, Ian wrote:
Marsha, John, I hate to be the one defending dmb but offlist
traffic is
good, when the subject matter is personal, for anyone concerned with
positive progress over damaging individuals.
Bad news in private, good news in public is my own working
adage, and
offlist mail is not unusual for you either Marsha, which is the
only reason
you were mentioned ?
DMB's style is dmb's style, on or offlist. Like his style or
not, he's
consistent.
Ian
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