If I understand correctly:

* You both share one MW document
* When your wife downloads transactions to MW, it only loads her
* When you download transactions to MW, it load your transactions and
reloads hers

A few thoughts:

* It seems like it must be your Bank that is limiting your wife's
download to only her transactions.  You may want to contact them and
see if they can do the same thing for your account.

* I don't know if it is 'standard' behavior, but I have noticed that
if I change the amount of a transaction after it is downloaded, the
next download does not change it back.  Perhaps you can just change
the amount of your wife's transactions to zero.
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