Thank you, Joe. Barring objections, I will hold these as editorial and work with the RFC Editor on them.
Eliot On 17.05.18 18:13, Joe Clarke wrote: > On 5/17/18 11:36, Eliot Lear wrote: > > Hi everyone, > > > This draft is intended to address all IESG comments. Thanks to the > > IESG and reviewers for their contributions. A summary of the > > changes is below, but people may wish to do a side by side review. > > Thanks for working with the IESG to resolve the major comments. > > I have a few additional on this draft. > > Section 1.7 > > s/URL that the thing emitted/URL that the Thing emitted/ > > === > > Section 2.1 > > You changed container "mud" to component "mud" here likely to be > consistent with the use of component in the other two bullets. > However, because "mud" is quoted, it seems like you are directly > referring to the mud container in the YANG model. Maybe drop the > "mud" or say: > > the first component, the "mud" container, ... > > === > > Section 4.6 > > s/each every/each and every/ > > === > > Section 4.8 > > s/This MUST only applied to TCP. this/This only applies to TCP. This/ > > Not sure if that's what you want to say. > > === > > Section 7 > > You didn't bump the revision with this YANG module update. This can > mess up some tooling we have. Can I ask that you bump this at least > once before final publication? > > === > > Section 7 > > I'm not a YANG doctor, but I see formatting inconsistencies in this > module. It would benefit from running it through pyang -f yang to > normalize the formatting. > > === > > Section 8.3 > > The same is true here. A pyang -f yang will normalize the formatting. > > === > > Section 9 > > Suggestion to add documentation to your example MUD file just to hint > at this being a good behavior for the benefit of admins. > > === > > Section 13 > > s/To insure that/To ensure that/ > > === > > Section 13.2 > > s/that the verification step match/that the verification step matches/ > > === > > Section 15 > > s/alloewed/allowed/ > > === > > Section 16 > > s/occured/occurred/ > > === > > Section 17.1 > > s/registred/registered/ > > === > > Appendix B > > s/overriden/overridden/ > > Joe > > > > Eliot > > > > * Small edits to the abstract * Clarity in the introduction that > > the focus is on protecting the device. * Many grammatical/wording > > improvements * Clarity when MUD is most effective. * MUD controller > > -> MUD manager * Normative language boiler plate change * Clarity > > on what should happen when a MUD manager can't reach a MUD file > > server * A few reference updates * Clarity on the validity time of > > a MUD file * Added references to RFCs 5911 and 5912 for SMI > > changes * one additional data element (documentation) * one change > > based on an update to the ACL model during its last call * > > Subsection numbering for node descriptions. * Improved text around > > "controller", direction-initiated. * Simplified MUD-URL text. * > > Optional reserved space added to DHCP, LLDP options * Simplified > > DHCP processing. * A new certificate field to bind the manufacturer > > certificate to the mud signer. * A content type definition for the > > SMI. * Updated security considerations. > > > >
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