"Quite a few things," Derek told her.  "I let things go too far with Megan.
Even when I knew I didn't really love her.  If I hadn't done that, none of
this would have happened.  I knew how she felt about me and I didn't do a
damn thing to discourage it."

"Did you encourage it?" Julia asked, meeting his gaze "Not discouraging
something doesn't make you guilty of a person's actions, Derek.  She made
the conscious decision to plot and plan and then carry out an attempted
murder on Alex, our baby and me."

And her resolve started to crack, or maybe it was her temper getting the
best of her but she ended up saying more before she caught herself and
literally pressed her lips together to stop "I was brought back because I'm
supposed to be here.  We're supposed to be in love with each other and we're
supposed to be having our first child now.  And I'm not going to have
someone that has a sudden bee in her pants try and tell us different, much
less try and carry out some kind of fantasy by sending me back and you
feeling guilty about what SHE did is going to eventually put something
between us and that's not fair to what we were given!"

She made a sound deep in her throat and laid her head back as she fought for
control, slowly rubbing her face.

"I do love you," Derek told her in exasperation.  "And realize that there
may not have been anyway for me to know that she would break like she did.
But I am not blameless here.  There are things you don't know.  For one, I
was the one who initiated our relationship, not Megan.  And I did encourage
it.  I even flew to France to be with her once.  No I am not responsible for
what she did, but I did lead her on, though I'll admit I didn't think that
what I was doing at the time."

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