Am I Asexual?
Ranges of Asexuality
"Am I Asexual" is one of the most common questions asked here on AVEN, and it is not one that any of us can answer. Like all identities, asexuality is self-proclaimed; someone is asexual if they say that they are. There are no set critertia that make someone asexual or not, no test to see if someone "qualifies" as asexual. Like all sexual orientations, asexuality is a concept that individuals are free to use and modify as they see fit. Anyone who thinks that the term "asexual" might be useful in thinking about themselves and explaining themselves to others is welcome to use it. Some people experience asexuality differently than others. Though there is no way to describe the full diversity of asexual experience, much of it can be thought of in terms of three factors:
* Attraction- Asexual people differ in how strongly they experience attraction. Some asexual people find themselves strongly attracted to others. They will experience a desire to become intimate with the people that they are attracted to, but no desire to express that intimacy sexually. Asexual people who experience attraction will often identify themselves as gay, bi, or straight as well as asexual. Other asexual people will experience attraction weakly or not at all. These individuals often do not identify with an orientation. Though they are less likely to “fall in love,” many still desire, pursue and achieve close intimate relationships.
* Arousal- Asexual people also experience differing levels of sexual arousal. For some sexual arousal is a fairly regular occurrence, though it is not associated with a desire to find a sexual partner or partners. For some arousal is merely an annoyance. Others will occasionally masturbate, but feel no desire for partnered sexuality. Other asexual people experience little or no arousal. These individuals generally do not see their lack of arousal as a medical or psychological problem, and do not seek treatment to alter it.
* Relationships- There is considerable diversity in how asexual people desire and seek intimate relationships with others. Some feel little need for relationships and prefer their own company. Most are socially active, maintaining networks of friends who can provide intimacy and support. Some asexual people form romantic relationships, some choose to marry. Others simply seek close friendship, or to form relationships which “blur the line” between friendship and dating
On 1/8/05 1:41 PM, "Dana Miller" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> Hi, having only read part of this thread and deleting the rest--can someone
> tell me what 'a-sexual' is? Private is okay if everyone else has read all
> the messages and already knows what it means!
> Thanks, and I thought the 'grip' thing was funny too! It indeed 'lightened'
> the mood! take care,
>
> Dana and ?
> [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "QuadPirate" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>;
> <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> Cc: <quad-list@eskimo.com>
> Sent: Friday, January 07, 2005 5:03 PM
> Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Frustration/sensitive
>
>
> Stacy I wasn't implying that para's have it easier I was just saying if I
> had a good "Grip" I could help myself!
> It was a joke, just trying to relieve this tension oops there I go again
> being funny!
>
> I really miss a good healthy sex life but life goes on.
>
> Mark
>
> -------Original Message-------
>
> From: Stacy Harim
> Date: Friday, January 07, 2005 4:25:01 PM
> To: QuadPirate; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED];
> [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Cc: quad-list@eskimo.com
> Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Frustration/sensitive
>
> It seems that us para's have just of a hard time getting a date though. At
> least that rings true for me.
>
> Stacy
> T 7/8 para
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: QuadPirate
> To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] ; [EMAIL PROTECTED] ;
> [EMAIL PROTECTED] ; [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Cc: quad-list@eskimo.com
> Sent: Friday, January 07, 2005 2:05 PM
> Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Frustration/sensitive
>
>
> That's funny Houston this is the first I've heard of a-sexual in my 5 short
> years as a quad.
> It does seem to me that a para would have a better sex life than a quad
> though after all they have a better "grip" than quads do lol!
>
> Just a little light humor folks while discussing this sensitive issue.
>
> Mark
>
> -------Original Message-------
>
> From: Houston809
> Date: Thursday, January 06, 2005 6:13:57 PM
> To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]; [EMAIL PROTECTED]; andrea murray;
> [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Cc: quadlist
> Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Frustration/sensitive
>
> Mark
> Like when I was in Partners class a few yrs back. Was the 1st time that I'd
> heard A-sexual which I had to ask the meaning of it 2 be sure. Now my cousin
> that's a Para which was pretty much 1 of few people with a disability that I
> was in contact with growing up at the time I was an AB. He always had
> girlfriends had 2 children by 2 different women than got married and had 2
> kids with his wife. So I'd never thought about sexual issues with
> paralization until I got paralyzed than found out that I'd been way off by
> a-s-s-u-m-i-n-g I should've been more inquisitive and asked questions back
> then. I still need 2 do some more research into SCI's and sex, especially
> since I'm asked more & more by new SCI's I'm coming into contact with. I
> joke my way through it tell them what little I know & what I've heard from
> others. The relationship issue I tell them it's pretty much the same as life
> and their injury different with each person.
> Houston
>
>
> On 1/6/05 5:58 PM, "[EMAIL PROTECTED]" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> In a message dated 06/01/2005 18:38:44 GMT Standard Time,
> [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
>
> Hey Stacy,
>
> I've come to the conclusion that people just don't think we're even
> interested in a relationship.
>
> Nobody thinks I'm interested in a sex life so no need for a relationship in
> their eyes.
>
>
>
> Mark
> It's statements like what Mark said that makes me realise just how lucky I
> am to have Steve, someone who knows I'm interested, but also knows of my
> fears and uncertainties and acts with those in minds.
>
> Love Smurf xxx
>
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