All & all a person in a chair subconsciously wants an AB or someone 2 be able 2 help or provide what we lack. Also don’t opposites attack???
On 2/9/05 1:20 PM, "[EMAIL PROTECTED]" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
I'm like Ron to where I have read all these posts but I will sit here and smile, chuckle and shake my head. We have talked about this subject many times before and it's OK to continue because of the new members on the list. There is no right or wrong answers to all the questions just like there is no wrong questions to ask.
I have what so many of you want because I am married.…. But do I? I'm going on 23 years of marriage with absolutely no romance at all. My wife was not very sexual to begin with even while I was walking and since my injury she has not touch me in any sexual or romantic way at all. I feel fortunate enough to get a peck in the mornings when she is going off to work and maybe I will get one when I go to bed. That is the extent to our physical contact. She has never been a good communicator and would always get upset if I ask to many questions and that continues to this day. She has always been a homebody and for the most part would only go out if we had something planned with friends or family. Basically, she would do what she wanted to do and do what she had to do. Is this romance or a relationship? I would have to say no. Personally, I think she is only sticking around because of finances but truthfully our relationship has not changed all that much since I've been injured except for the fact she is more stubborn and has started smart remarks. Should I divorce her? My answer is no. Why should I give up my home that I worked so hard to get and keep and why should I give up seeing my children on a daily basis? There is that old saying "It's always greener on the other side of the fence." In my experience through life it is NOT always greener on the other side of the fence. I have a good situation with my living because my place is pretty accessible plus I'm able to be around my children. I live my life day by day and make the best out of my situation. I know my life could be a lot worse and I know that there are others in worse predicaments then myself.
There is all this talk about having a relationship with an able-bodied person. Why isn't there any talk about having a relationship with somebody else in a wheelchair? Can't two quadriplegics or two paraplegics or a paraplegic and a quadriplegic hookup and have a wonderful relationship? Of course they can but that is never brought up. Having a sexual relationship might be very tough to have or even out of the question but there is so much more to a relationship than sex. Sex is so far down on my list of wants and needs that I do not even think about it hardly anymore. I would take a relationship with loving and caring and good companionship with communication over just a sexual relationship anytime. Yes, it would be great to have both but in our conditions that just might not be possible. I can continue but I will stop for now.
Jim
