Remember when Lori from the Quad list husband passed away suddenly a year ago? He was her caregiver. She ended up moving to another state to move in with her sister. It got me to thinking ... what would I do if something happened to Pete? I asked my family and my youngest sister said, without hesitation, she would take me in. And in the past 9 months she has been having Pete show her how to do things she hasn't done yet, like changing my stoma. She was 14 when I had my accident and helped with my care along with my other sister and Mother. That's how things were back in 1973 The rehab taught family member's how to care for the Newley injured person. Bobbie
Smile Everyday > On Oct 5, 2013, at 9:13 PM, RONALD L PRACHT <[email protected]> wrote: > > Im happy that we can talk about such an issue and be honest about it. For one > it helps me not feel alone and telling the truth is the only way the system > can ever change. So many quads tell this glamour story about how things are > better now than when they walked, lol. The man wanted the truth and we gave > it to him. Now we can move on to something else. This is a great list with > real people on it. > > > Ron > > From: "[email protected]" <[email protected]> > To: [email protected] > Sent: Saturday, October 5, 2013 7:28 PM > Subject: Fwd: [QUAD-L] Spouse as Caregiver? > > What if you don't have the money for a caregiver? What if you simply can't > find someone willing to do the "disgusting stuff?" There just is no easy > answer. This whole thread is depressing as hell. Probably because it faces > the truth of our situation. Sorry guys. Got a cloud over my head tonite. > > Sent from my iPad > > Begin forwarded message: > >> Resent-From: [email protected] >> From: [email protected] >> Date: October 5, 2013 at 1:48:17 PM EDT >> To: [email protected], [email protected] >> Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Spouse as Caregiver? >> >> -----Original Message----- >> From: diannal767 <[email protected]> >> To: wheelchair <[email protected]> >> Sent: Sat, Oct 5, 2013 1:30 pm >> Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Spouse as Caregiver? >> >> If I had it all over to do again, I wouldn't have my spouse be my >> caregiver. At the time though we had a business which wiped us out of a lot >> of resources for us, We were led to believe if we wanted care, we'd have to >> pay for it. All went well for about 10 yrs than Dave got caregiver burnout, >> we divorced plus he wanted more than a quad woman could give. He tried the >> dating scene (yes, it was hard on me). Now he's an Independent Care >> Provider. Yes, mine. It's hard to explain to people we are not a couple. My >> granddaughter thinks he is. He has been an excellent care provider, 23 yrs >> of quadhood, now cancer. But, NO, I don't suggest it. In Dec., we would've >> been together 40 yrs. >> Dianna >> I'm sure this topic has been discussed before, but: >> >> Those of you who are married or in a serious relationship: do you choose to >> have your husband/wife as your primary caregiver or have an outside >> caregiver? >> >> I've heard and read that it is best not to have your spouse as your primary >> caregiver because it changes the dynamic of the relationship (assuming you >> were together before your injury), but I'm not sure if that's true. >> >> Your thoughts and experiences in this matter will be very helpful. >> >> Thank you, >> Don. >> -----Original Message----- >> From: wheelchair <[email protected]> >> To: quad-list <[email protected]> >> Sent: Fri, Oct 4, 2013 6:05 pm >> Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Spouse as Caregiver? >> >> Thank You Don. You are most correct in the change of relationship dynamics. >> Granted, there are exception to each and every rule, but I know of no study >> that disputes those findings. Love can be blind for only so long. Where >> there is a way... you will also find a will. >> >> Best Wishes >> >> In a message dated 10/4/2013 3:53:21 P.M. Central Daylight Time, >> [email protected] writes: >> I'm sure this topic has been discussed before, but: >> >> Those of you who are married or in a serious relationship: do you choose to >> have your husband/wife as your primary caregiver or have an outside >> caregiver? >> >> I've heard and read that it is best not to have your spouse as your primary >> caregiver because it changes the dynamic of the relationship (assuming you >> were together before your injury), but I'm not sure if that's true. >> >> Your thoughts and experiences in this matter will be very helpful. >> >> Thank you, >> Don. > >
