Im happy that we can talk about such an issue and be honest about it. For one it helps me not feel alone and telling the truth is the only way the system can ever change. So many quads tell this glamour story about how things are better now than when they walked, lol. The man wanted the truth and we gave it to him. Now we can move on to something else. This is a great list with real people on it. Ron
________________________________ From: "[email protected]" <[email protected]> To: [email protected] Sent: Saturday, October 5, 2013 7:28 PM Subject: Fwd: [QUAD-L] Spouse as Caregiver? What if you don't have the money for a caregiver? What if you simply can't find someone willing to do the "disgusting stuff?" There just is no easy answer. This whole thread is depressing as hell. Probably because it faces the truth of our situation. Sorry guys. Got a cloud over my head tonite. Sent from my iPad Begin forwarded message: Resent-From: [email protected] >From: [email protected] >Date: October 5, 2013 at 1:48:17 PM EDT >To: [email protected], [email protected] >Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Spouse as Caregiver? > > >-----Original Message----- >From: diannal767 <[email protected]> >To: wheelchair <[email protected]> >Sent: Sat, Oct 5, 2013 1:30 pm >Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Spouse as Caregiver? > > >If I had it all over to do again, I wouldn't have my spouse be my caregiver. >At the time though we had a business which wiped us out of a lot of resources >for us, We were led to believe if we wanted care, we'd have to pay for it. All >went well for about 10 yrs than Dave got caregiver burnout, we divorced plus >he wanted more than a quad woman could give. He tried the dating scene (yes, >it was hard on me). Now he's an Independent Care Provider. Yes, mine. It's >hard to explain to people we are not a couple. My granddaughter thinks he is. >He has been an excellent care provider, 23 yrs of quadhood, now cancer. But, >NO, I don't suggest it. In Dec., we would've been together 40 yrs. >Dianna >I'm sure this topic has been discussed before, but: >> >> >>Those of you who are married or in a serious relationship: do you choose to >>have your husband/wife as your primary caregiver or have an outside caregiver? >> >> >>I've heard and read that it is best not to have your spouse as your primary >>caregiver because it changes the dynamic of the relationship (assuming you >>were together before your injury), but I'm not sure if that's true. >> >> >>Your thoughts and experiences in this matter will be very helpful. >> >> >>Thank you, >>Don. >-----Original Message----- >From: wheelchair <[email protected]> >To: quad-list <[email protected]> >Sent: Fri, Oct 4, 2013 6:05 pm >Subject: Re: [QUAD-L] Spouse as Caregiver? > > >Thank You Don. You are most correct in the change of relationship dynamics. Granted, there are exception to each and every rule, but I know of no study that disputes those findings. Love can be blind for only so long. Where there is a way... you will also find a will. > >Best Wishes > >In a message dated 10/4/2013 3:53:21 P.M. Central Daylight Time, >[email protected] writes: >I'm sure this topic has been discussed before, but: >> >> >>Those of you who are married or in a serious relationship: do you choose to >>have your husband/wife as your primary caregiver or have an outside caregiver? >> >> >>I've heard and read that it is best not to have your spouse as your primary >>caregiver because it changes the dynamic of the relationship (assuming you >>were together before your injury), but I'm not sure if that's true. >> >> >>Your thoughts and experiences in this matter will be very helpful. >> >> >>Thank you, >>Don.
