In my case it completely ruined my marriage in many ways. Here in Missouri, I
did not qualify for any outside help of any kind or any aides or caregivers. So
for 16 plus years my wife has been my sole wife/caregiver/nurse and etc. After
16 years she is fed up and sick of it and complains and nags and puts me down
constantly--as if now i'm just another burden or pet or grandkid or something
and not a husband or partner.Not much love anymore and now never sex not even
oral--she say's whats the point with a quadriplegic. I can't say I blame her in
many ways, after years of bowel routines and digital stym and other fun things
like changing my catheters and bags plus treating any presure sores and etc. I
try to be polite and ask things like--hon, when you get time today could you
get my toothbrush & things out so I can brush my teeth? her reply... you are
one demanding son of a bitch (why don't you get it yourself?) {I can't get into
our bathroom unless i'm
in my showerchair } Some days are good but many are just awful. There are fun
times and family times but I think she will be relieved when I die (except for
the loss of all my income .)Yep. Lori-told me years ago that when a partner
becomes the full time care-giver it ruins the dynamics of a loving normal
marriage. That sort of sums it up for me, lol cya all later, Dan***
________________________________
From: Don Price <[email protected]>
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]>
Sent: Friday, October 4, 2013 3:53 PM
Subject: [QUAD-L] Spouse as Caregiver?
I'm sure this topic has been discussed before, but:
Those of you who are married or in a serious relationship: do you choose to
have your husband/wife as your primary caregiver or have an outside caregiver?
I've heard and read that it is best not to have your spouse as your primary
caregiver because it changes the dynamic of the relationship (assuming you were
together before your injury), but I'm not sure if that's true.
Your thoughts and experiences in this matter will be very helpful.
Thank you,
Don.
