Touchy Feely
Posted by James Wolcott

Sometimes my suspicious nature saves me from myself.

I was about to post a semi-sincere apology to Andrew Sullivan. In my 
book, I argued that however much he flirted with abandoning Bush, he 
would never unlash himself from the Marlboro Man, having invested so 
much in this tender masochistic relationship. I was wrong. After much 
agon, Sullivan did cast his vote for Kerry, which caused him no end of 
grief from fellow conservatives who probably never liked gays anyway and 
now had an excuse to vent their Disillusionment with Andrew for defecting.

As I say, an apology seemed in order.

But after watching Sullivan make an ass of himself (in more ways than 
one) on HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher, forget it.

Like an infant banging his spoon on the high-chair tray, Sullivan threw 
quite a tantrum last night after Maher had the GALL to interview Noam 
Chomsky. Sullivan sputtered that Chomsky made "millions" going around 
the world telling audiences America was "evil." Now I don't pretend to 
have read or heard all of the millions of words Chomsky has written and 
spoken, but "evil" doesn't seem to be a prominent word in his 
vocabulary, being so theological; he tends to talk in terms of brutal 
realpolitick and self-interest. And it's highly unlikely he's raking in 
"millions"--if he is, he isn't splurging on wardrobe and pimpmobiles.

Since every war criminal in the current Bush administration will be able 
to command huge honoraria on the lecture circuit and lucrative positions 
on corporate boards once they leave the bloodshed behind, working up ire 
over a professor's speaking fees seems a bit much.

Unable to impart the red depths of Chomsky's villainy to host and panel, 
Sullivan attacked Chomsky for being symptomatic of an America-hating 
elitist left. "That's why you lost this week!" Sullivan said.*

"You said you voted for Kerry!" Maher shot back. "You lost too!"

And in one blow Maher (who was in brilliant form in the last part of the 
show) illuminated the twisted self-contradictions of Sullivan, who can 
upbraid someone for making the same choice he did.

The strangest thing in the broadcast happened when the show was over. 
The panelists stood, Sullivan's back to the camera, and as the credits 
rolled, he began squeezing, massaging his own buttocks with his hands. I 
thought he might be trying to dislodge a thong strap that had run up 
rather deep, but no, he seemed to be feeling up his own butt. I've never 
seen anything quite like it, unless I was hallucinating, and if I start 
hallucinating about Andrew Sullivan copping a feel of his own butt, it's 
time to check into the clinic for a little Elizabeth Wurtzel layoff.

So I beg any blogger able to do a "screen-grab," if you're pardon the 
expression, to study the last few minutes of this week's Real Time with 
Bill Maher and assure me my mind's not playing mad tricks.


*quoted from imperfect memory, but as accurate as I can make it until I 
see a replay


http://jameswolcott.com/archives/2004/11/touchy_feely.php

The buttgrabber video is here:

http://homepage.mac.com/njenson/movies/sullivan.html


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