Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
On 22 May 2008 02:30:37 -0700, [EMAIL PROTECTED] (Schwarz, Barry A) wrote: So a fifty message thread about stupid practical jokes is sufficiently topical for you but a three message thread about CSI severely degrades the S/N ratio of the list? Some of this discussion actually can help us with our job skills - with good results. -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
So a fifty message thread about stupid practical jokes is sufficiently topical for you but a three message thread about CSI severely degrades the S/N ratio of the list? -Original Message- From: Ted MacNEIL [mailto:snip] Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 3:28 PM To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers I'm surprised at how many people missed the point of this blog post. The blogger was correct. We have lost our sense of humour. Did anybody read the disclaimer? -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
Back in the days of 3277 consoles I used to switch the bright and volume buttons on the main console. I'd turn the volume all the way up and then stand back and wait for an alert that rang the bell. Ah, a rudely awakened (from console stupor) operator was fun to watch. Daniel McLaughlin Z-Series Systems Programmer Information Communications Technology Crawford Company 4680 N. Royal Atlanta Tucker GA 30084 phone: 770-621-3256 fax: 770-621-3237 email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] web: www.crawfordandcompany.com Best Overall Third-Party Claims Administrator - 2007 Business Insurance Readers Choice Awards Consider the environment before printing this message. This transmission is intended exclusively for the individual or entity to which it is addressed. This communication may contain information that is confidential, proprietary, privileged or otherwise exempt from disclosure. If you are not the named addressee, you are NOT authorized to read, print, retain, copy or disseminate this communication, its attachments or any part of them. If you have received this communication in error, please notify the sender immediately and delete this communication from all computers. This communication does not form any contractual obligation on behalf of the sender, the sender's employer, or the employer's parent company, affiliates or subsidiaries. -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
If that many people misunderstood, it was the author that failed, not the readers. Tom Puddicombe Mainframe Performance Capacity Planning CSC North American Public Sector - Civil Group Computer Sciences Corporation Registered Office: 3170 Fairview Park Drive, Falls Church, Virginia 22042, USA Registered in Nevada, USA No: C-489-59 - This is a PRIVATE message. If you are not the intended recipient, please delete without copying and kindly advise us by e-mail of the mistake in delivery. NOTE: Regardless of content, this e-mail shall not operate to bind CSC to any order or other contract unless pursuant to explicit written agreement or government initiative expressly permitting the use of e-mail for such purpose. - Ted MacNEIL [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent by: IBM Mainframe Discussion List IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU 05/21/2008 06:28 PM Please respond to IBM Mainframe Discussion List IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU To IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU cc Subject Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers I'm surprised at how many people missed the point of this blog post. The blogger was correct. We have lost our sense of humour. Did anybody read the disclaimer? [Update: For those of you who missed the tongue in cheek nature of this post, it is in fact, a joke. Please don’t try this at work. — Matt Stansberry, Editor] - Too busy driving to stop for gas! -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
-Original Message- From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List On Behalf Of Howard Brazee On 21 May 2008 12:43:34 -0700, [EMAIL PROTECTED] (Don Leahy) wrote: The PL had PFK10 set up as CANCEL. This screwed me up because my own userid had PFK10 set up as SAVE. After losing several rounds of changes by hitting CANCEL when I meant SAVE, I changed the PL's PFK10 setting to match the one I was accustomed to. I limit my Fkey function changes to changes that won't mess others up. This can mean in SDSF I have commands for Shift-7 shift-8 that correspond with the default 7 8. And my shift-swap work with swap options. The only one that is real different is F12 because I need a key for recall. The most common command people (I have seen) have different from that does a Submit. That's the limit of my customization: F9 is mapped to SWAP NEXT, Shift+F9 is SWAP PREV, Shift+F7, 8, 10 and 11 map to MAX UP, MAX DOWN, MAX LEFT and MAX RIGHT respectively, and Shift+F5 is SUBMIT. -jc- -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
BYPASSNQ (ha-ha) Mark Zelden [EMAIL PROTECTED] 5/21/2008 12:58 PM On Wed, 21 May 2008 12:50:42 -0400, Richards, Robert B. [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical jokes are neither practical nor a joke. What, you don't see the humor in trying to delete SYS1.LINKLIB (don't worry, the ENQ will protect you on this one)? :-) I sort of like the idea of re-mapping the keyboard for the guy in the cube that sits next to me. -- Mark Zelden Sr. Software and Systems Architect - z/OS Team Lead Zurich North America / Farmers Insurance Group - ZFUS G-ITO mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] z/OS Systems Programming expert at http://expertanswercenter.techtarget.com/ Mark's MVS Utilities: http://home.flash.net/~mzelden/mvsutil.html -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html == CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This email contains information from the sender that may be CONFIDENTIAL, LEGALLY PRIVILEGED, PROPRIETARY or otherwise protected from disclosure. This email is intended for use only by the person or entity to whom it is addressed. If you are not the intended recipient, any use, disclosure, copying, distribution, printing, or any action taken in reliance on the contents of this email, is strictly prohibited. If you received this email in error, please contact the sending party by reply email, delete the email from your computer system and shred any paper copies. Note to Patients: There are a number of risks you should consider before using e-mail to communicate with us. See our Privacy Policy and Henry Ford My Health at www.henryford.com for more detailed information. If you do not believe that our policy gives you the privacy and security protection you need, do not send e-mail or Internet communications to us. ==
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
I like this one...messages in Vulcan that no one else can read. Daniel McLaughlin Z-Series Systems Programmer Information Communications Technology Crawford Company 4680 N. Royal Atlanta Tucker GA 30084 phone: 770-621-3256 fax: 770-621-3237 email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] web: www.crawfordandcompany.com IBM Mainframe Discussion List IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU wrote on 05/22/2008 09:08:38 AM: Richard Bond [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent by: IBM Mainframe Discussion List IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU 05/22/2008 09:08 AM Please respond to IBM Mainframe Discussion List IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU To IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU cc Subject Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers -- Information from the mail header --- Sender: IBM Mainframe Discussion List IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU Poster: Richard Bond [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers --- QllQQVNTTlEgICAoaGEtaGEpDQoNCj4+PiAiTWFyayBaZWxkZW4iIDxtYXJrLnplbGRlbkBaVVJJ Q0hOQS5DT00+IDUvMjEvMjAwOCAxMjo1OCBQTSA+Pj4NCg0KT24gV2VkLCAyMSBNYXkgMjAwOCAx Mjo1MDo0MiAtMDQwMCwgUmljaGFyZHMsIFJvYmVydCBCLg0KPFJvYmVydC5SaWNoYXJkc0BPUE0u R09WPiB3cm90ZToNCg0KPkFzIHNvbWVvbmUgYWxyZWFkeSBjb21tZW50ZWQgb24gVGVjaCBUYXJn ZXQgd2Vic2l0ZSwgdGhlc2UgcHJhY3RpY2FsDQo+am9rZXMgYXJlIG5laXRoZXIgcHJhY3RpY2Fs IG5vciBhIGpva2UuDQo+DQoNCldoYXQsIHlvdSBkb24ndCBzZWUgdGhlIGh1bW9yIGluIHRyeWlu ZyB0byBkZWxldGUgU1lTMS5MSU5LTElCIChkb24ndCB3b3JyeSwNCnRoZSBFTlEgd2lsbCBwcm90 ZWN0IHlvdSBvbiB0aGlzIG9uZSk/ICAgOi0pDQoNCkkgc29ydCBvZiBsaWtlIHRoZSBpZGVhIG9m IHJlLW1hcHBpbmcgdGhlIGtleWJvYXJkIGZvciB0aGUgZ3V5IGluIHRoZSBjdWJlDQp0aGF0IHNp dHMgbmV4dCB0byBtZS4NCg0KLS0NCk1hcmsgWmVsZGVuDQpTci4gU29mdHdhcmUgYW5kIFN5c3Rl bXMgQXJjaGl0ZWN0IC0gei9PUyBUZWFtIExlYWQNClp1cmljaCBOb3J0aCBBbWVyaWNhIC8gRmFy bWVycyBJbnN1cmFuY2UgR3JvdXAgLSBaRlVTIEctSVRPDQptYWlsdG86bWFyay56ZWxkZW5AenVy aWNobmEuY29tDQp6L09TIFN5c3RlbXMgUHJvZ3JhbW1pbmcgZXhwZXJ0IGF0IGh0dHA6Ly9leHBl cnRhbnN3ZXJjZW50ZXIudGVjaHRhcmdldC5jb20vDQpNYXJrJ3MgTVZTIFV0aWxpdGllczogaHR0 cDovL2hvbWUuZmxhc2gubmV0L35temVsZGVuL212c3V0aWwuaHRtbA0KDQotLS0tLS0tLS0tLS0t LS0tLS0tLS0tLS0tLS0tLS0tLS0tLS0tLS0tLS0tLS0tLS0tLS0tLS0tLS0tLS0tLS0tLS0tLS0t DQpGb3IgSUJNLU1BSU4gc3Vic2NyaWJlIC8gc2lnbm9mZiAvIGFyY2hpdmUgYWNjZXNzIGluc3Ry dWN0aW9ucywNCnNlbmQgZW1haWwgdG8gbGlzdHNlcnZAYmFtYS51YS5lZHUgd2l0aCB0aGUgbWVz c2FnZTogR0VUIElCTS1NQUlOIElORk8NClNlYXJjaCB0aGUgYXJjaGl2ZXMgYXQgaHR0cDovL2Jh bWEudWEuZWR1L2FyY2hpdmVzL2libS1tYWluLmh0bWwNCj09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09 PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PQ0K Q09ORklERU5USUFMSVRZIE5PVElDRTogVGhpcyBlbWFpbCBjb250YWlucyBpbmZvcm1hdGlvbiBm cm9tIHRoZSBzZW5kZXIgdGhhdCBtYXkgYmUgQ09ORklERU5USUFMLCBMRUdBTExZIFBSSVZJTEVH RUQsIFBST1BSSUVUQVJZIG9yIG90aGVyd2lzZSBwcm90ZWN0ZWQgZnJvbSBkaXNjbG9zdXJlLiBU aGlzIGVtYWlsIGlzIGludGVuZGVkIGZvciB1c2Ugb25seSBieSB0aGUgcGVyc29uIG9yIGVudGl0 eSB0byB3aG9tIGl0IGlzIGFkZHJlc3NlZC4gSWYgeW91IGFyZSBub3QgdGhlIGludGVuZGVkIHJl Y2lwaWVudCwgYW55IHVzZSwgZGlzY2xvc3VyZSwgY29weWluZywgZGlzdHJpYnV0aW9uLCBwcmlu dGluZywgb3IgYW55IGFjdGlvbiB0YWtlbiBpbiByZWxpYW5jZSBvbiB0aGUgY29udGVudHMgb2Yg dGhpcyBlbWFpbCwgaXMgc3RyaWN0bHkgcHJvaGliaXRlZC4gSWYgeW91IHJlY2VpdmVkIHRoaXMg ZW1haWwgaW4gZXJyb3IsIHBsZWFzZSBjb250YWN0IHRoZSBzZW5kaW5nIHBhcnR5IGJ5IHJlcGx5 IGVtYWlsLCBkZWxldGUgdGhlIGVtYWlsIGZyb20geW91ciBjb21wdXRlciBzeXN0ZW0gYW5kIHNo cmVkIGFueSBwYXBlciBjb3BpZXMuDQogDQpOb3RlIHRvIFBhdGllbnRzOiBUaGVyZSBhcmUgYSBu dW1iZXIgb2Ygcmlza3MgeW91IHNob3VsZCBjb25zaWRlciBiZWZvcmUgdXNpbmcgZS1tYWlsIHRv IGNvbW11bmljYXRlIHdpdGggdXMuIFNlZSBvdXIgUHJpdmFjeSBQb2xpY3kgYW5kIEhlbnJ5IEZv cmQgTXkgSGVhbHRoIGF0IHd3dy5oZW5yeWZvcmQuY29tIGZvciBtb3JlIGRldGFpbGVkIGluZm9y bWF0aW9uLiBJZiB5b3UgZG8gbm90IGJlbGlldmUgdGhhdCBvdXIgcG9saWN5IGdpdmVzIHlvdSB0 aGUgcHJpdmFjeSBhbmQgc2VjdXJpdHkgcHJvdGVjdGlvbiB5b3UgbmVlZCwgZG8gbm90IHNlbmQg ZS1tYWlsIG9yIEludGVybmV0IGNvbW11bmljYXRpb25zIHRvIHVzLg0KDQo9PT09PT09PT09PT09 PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09PT09 PT09PT09PT0NCg== Best Overall Third-Party Claims Administrator - 2007 Business Insurance Readers Choice Awards Consider the environment before printing this message. This transmission is intended exclusively for the individual or entity to which it is addressed. This communication may contain information that is confidential, proprietary, privileged or otherwise exempt from disclosure. If you are not the named addressee, you are NOT authorized to read, print, retain, copy or disseminate this communication, its attachments or any part of them. If you have received this communication in error, please notify the sender immediately and delete this communication from all computers. This communication does not form any contractual obligation on behalf of the sender, the sender's employer, or the employer's parent company, affiliates or subsidiaries
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
In a similar vein - someone at my shop in the 80's discovered you could use TPUT to send messages to other terminals sans userid. Further, combined with an ability to read qsam files, one of which contained the text of a symptom dump, the resulting confusion from unsuspecting TSO users was quite entertaining. - Original Message From: Gary Green [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 1:31:11 PM Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers Now THAT is funny... On Wed May 21 13:16 , Rob Scott [EMAIL PROTECTED] sent: I worked at a site once (many) years ago where some bright spark once wrote a program called IJKEFT01 whose sole purpose in life was to just ATTACH IKJEFT01 *unless* it was the target userid in which case it also ATTACHed an extra TCB that randomly generated strange abends at random intervals. Cue frantic hunting through manuals and head scratching of the affected user. Made me smile. Rob Scott Rocket Software, Inc 275 Grove Street Newton, MA 02466 617-614-2305 [EMAIL PROTECTED] -Original Message- From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [EMAIL PROTECTED]','','','')[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Edward Jaffe Sent: 21 May 2008 18:04 To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers Richards, Robert B. wrote: As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical jokes are neither practical nor a joke. Jokes or not, I was ROTFLMAO! And, based on the first comment posted, I guess that means I should be locked up! :-D -- Edward E Jaffe Phoenix Software International, Inc 5200 W Century Blvd, Suite 800 Los Angeles, CA 90045 310-338-0400 x318 [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.phoenixsoftware.com/ -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
Jim Harrison of the IBM Mainframe Discussion List IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU wrote on 05/22/2008 10:39:01 AM: In a similar vein - someone at my shop in the 80's discovered you could use TPUT to send messages to other terminals sans userid. Further, combined with an ability to read qsam files, one of which contained the text of a symptom dump, the resulting confusion from unsuspecting TSO users was quite entertaining. At one time, you could issue SENDs in TSO batch sans userid. Regards, John K -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
I remember an article in Computer World around the early 1990's about American Airlines getting wrecked by the volume initialization joke. It was not a joke, but lack of finger checking that cause several disks of DB2 data, etc to be initialized instead of a bunch of new disk recently installed. Took them several days to get everything back together. On Thu, 22 May 2008 12:29:34 -0500, Dave Kopischke [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: On Wed, 21 May 2008 22:28:25 +, Ted MacNEIL wrote: I'm surprised at how many people missed the point of this blog post. The blogger was correct. We have lost our sense of humour. Did anybody read the disclaimer? [Update: For those of you who missed the tongue in cheek nature of this post, it is in fact, a joke. Please dont try this at work. Matt Stansberry, Editor] I think they added that after they got a bunch of negative responses. Maybe they should have increased the font. Maybe they should have added laugh here tags. But I also agree that most of those aren't particularly funny. The remapping of the key board was safe and humorous though. -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
On Wed, 21 May 2008 22:28:25 +, Ted MacNEIL wrote: I'm surprised at how many people missed the point of this blog post. The blogger was correct. We have lost our sense of humour. Did anybody read the disclaimer? [Update: For those of you who missed the tongue in cheek nature of this post, it is in fact, a joke. Please dont try this at work. Matt Stansberry, Editor] I think they added that after they got a bunch of negative responses. Maybe they should have increased the font. Maybe they should have added laugh here tags. But I also agree that most of those aren't particularly funny. The remapping of the key board was safe and humorous though. -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
-Original Message- From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Matthew Stitt Sent: Thursday, May 22, 2008 12:51 PM To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers I remember an article in Computer World around the early 1990's about American Airlines getting wrecked by the volume initialization joke. It was not a joke, but lack of finger checking that cause several disks of DB2 data, etc to be initialized instead of a bunch of new disk recently installed. Took them several days to get everything back together. And thus was born the VERIFY(oldvolser) parameter? We had an open system DASD person who claimed to have z/OS knowledge and wanted more responsibility. This sounded like a good thing. But when asked about using this parameter on an INIT, he basically said he wouldn't be bothered with it. He's not here any more. -- John McKown Senior Systems Programmer HealthMarkets Keeping the Promise of Affordable Coverage Administrative Services Group Information Technology The information contained in this e-mail message may be privileged and/or confidential. It is for intended addressee(s) only. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, reproduction, distribution or other use of this communication is strictly prohibited and could, in certain circumstances, be a criminal offense. If you have received this e-mail in error, please notify the sender by reply and delete this message without copying or disclosing it. -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
Dave Kopischke wrote: But I also agree that most of those aren't particularly funny. The remapping of the key board was safe and humorous though. Especially when one of the keys was remapped to issue TSO DELETE important.data.set.name O:-) -- Edward E Jaffe Phoenix Software International, Inc 5200 W Century Blvd, Suite 800 Los Angeles, CA 90045 310-338-0400 x318 [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.phoenixsoftware.com/ -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
At one time, you could issue SENDs in TSO batch sans userid. I believe you still can in an ACF2 shop, but it's been almost 5 years since I worked in one. - Too busy driving to stop for gas! -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
But I also agree that most of those aren't particularly funny. The remapping of the key board was safe and humorous though. Actually (tongue in cheek, or not), I didn't find the article amusing, at all. What I found funny was all the negative responses. Some people need (less boring) lives. - Too busy driving to stop for gas! -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
Yeah, back in the days when the lines between Operators, SysProgs, and AppsProgs were a little more blurred, my father helped his IT department fix the access rules for SYS1.LINKLIB in this manner... Art Gutowski Ford Motor Company ITInfrastructure [EMAIL PROTECTED] -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
I remember an article in Computer World around the early 1990's about American Airlines getting wrecked by the volume initialization joke. In the days before LLA, I had a system programmer supporting TSOMON. And, he didn't even know that it was in the link list. Needless to say, after re-orging, deleting, re-defining, deleting again, the system was so bolluxed up that an IPL was required. Of course, the IPL wasn't successful, due to the missing link list library. After many hours of work, we were back. It was a single system environment. Of course, that didn't get him fired. That happened when he modified some IDMS maintenance JCL to work 'better'. Production IDMS wouldn't come up. We found the problem. Link Edits (3) with no entry points defined. So much for the 'experienced' SYSPROG. - Too busy driving to stop for gas! -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
On Thu, 22 May 2008 20:01:30 +, Ted MacNEIL wrote: But I also agree that most of those aren't particularly funny. The remapping of the key board was safe and humorous though. Actually (tongue in cheek, or not), I didn't find the article amusing, at all. What I found funny was all the negative responses. Actually, I thought many of the responses on IBM-MAIN were more humorous and less harmful (Except for the chads in the eye sub-thread. I could have done without that one). Maybe in the future they'll post a question here first and then write about the responses ??? -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical jokes are neither practical nor a joke. Bob - Robert B. Richards US Office of Personnel Management 1900 E Street NW Room: BH04L Washington, D.C. 20415 Phone: (202) 606-1195 Email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] - -Original Message- From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Howard Brazee Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 12:22 PM To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU Subject: FW: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers -Original Message- From: Enterprise Systems Update [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 10:19 AM To: Subject: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers SearchDataCenter.com: Enterprise Systems Update May 21, 2008 PRACTICAL JOKES FOR MAINFRAME SYSTEMS PROGRAMMERS http://go.techtarget.com/r/3694490/765893 Robert Crawford, Contributor Work has gotten too serious. Between the demand for 100% availability and the need to do more with fewer people, there is little room for those water-cooler moments we used to enjoy. It's time to revive joy in the workplace and build team spirit. This column suggests some practical jokes that will engender mirth and leave everyone in stitches. READ THE FULL STORY http://go.techtarget.com/r/3694491/765893 -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
On Wed, 21 May 2008 12:50:42 -0400, Richards, Robert B. [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical jokes are neither practical nor a joke. What, you don't see the humor in trying to delete SYS1.LINKLIB (don't worry, the ENQ will protect you on this one)? :-) I sort of like the idea of re-mapping the keyboard for the guy in the cube that sits next to me. -- Mark Zelden Sr. Software and Systems Architect - z/OS Team Lead Zurich North America / Farmers Insurance Group - ZFUS G-ITO mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] z/OS Systems Programming expert at http://expertanswercenter.techtarget.com/ Mark's MVS Utilities: http://home.flash.net/~mzelden/mvsutil.html -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
Ask the person that was the object of the joke if they thought it was funny. Hey, I like a good joke as much as the next person, but these did not hit my funny bone for some reason. Bob -Original Message- From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Mark Zelden Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 12:58 PM To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers On Wed, 21 May 2008 12:50:42 -0400, Richards, Robert B. [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical jokes are neither practical nor a joke. What, you don't see the humor in trying to delete SYS1.LINKLIB (don't worry, the ENQ will protect you on this one)? :-) I sort of like the idea of re-mapping the keyboard for the guy in the cube that sits next to me. -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
I worked at a site once (many) years ago where some bright spark once wrote a program called IJKEFT01 whose sole purpose in life was to just ATTACH IKJEFT01 *unless* it was the target userid in which case it also ATTACHed an extra TCB that randomly generated strange abends at random intervals. Cue frantic hunting through manuals and head scratching of the affected user. Made me smile. Rob Scott Rocket Software, Inc 275 Grove Street Newton, MA 02466 617-614-2305 [EMAIL PROTECTED] -Original Message- From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Edward Jaffe Sent: 21 May 2008 18:04 To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers Richards, Robert B. wrote: As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical jokes are neither practical nor a joke. Jokes or not, I was ROTFLMAO! And, based on the first comment posted, I guess that means I should be locked up! :-D -- Edward E Jaffe Phoenix Software International, Inc 5200 W Century Blvd, Suite 800 Los Angeles, CA 90045 310-338-0400 x318 [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.phoenixsoftware.com/ -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
I smiled when I read them, but then the adult inside me kicked in his two cents and decided that to actually do these jokes would not be funny. - Robert B. Richards(Bob) US Office of Personnel Management 1900 E Street NW Room: BH04L Washington, D.C. 20415 Phone: (202) 606-1195 Email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] - -Original Message- From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Edward Jaffe Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 1:04 PM To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers Richards, Robert B. wrote: As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical jokes are neither practical nor a joke. Jokes or not, I was ROTFLMAO! And, based on the first comment posted, I guess that means I should be locked up! :-D -- Edward E Jaffe Phoenix Software International, Inc 5200 W Century Blvd, Suite 800 Los Angeles, CA 90045 310-338-0400 x318 [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.phoenixsoftware.com/ -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
Well, other than the 3270 remapping, the rest can result in severe problems and possible termination. The last, reinitializing a DBMS volume actually happened to me. Well, it was a DB2 system (not data) volume which somehow got the CA-1 TMC allocated on it. The DBA backed up the volume, made some changes, and then restored it. This wiped out a lot of TMC updates. Luckily, we detected this early and recovered from the AUDIT. -- John McKown Senior Systems Programmer HealthMarkets Keeping the Promise of Affordable Coverage Administrative Services Group Information Technology The information contained in this e-mail message may be privileged and/or confidential. It is for intended addressee(s) only. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, reproduction, distribution or other use of this communication is strictly prohibited and could, in certain circumstances, be a criminal offense. If you have received this e-mail in error, please notify the sender by reply and delete this message without copying or disclosing it. -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
On Wed, 21 May 2008 13:06:04 -0400 Richards, Robert B. [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: :Ask the person that was the object of the joke if they thought it was :funny. Hey, I like a good joke as much as the next person, but these did :not hit my funny bone for some reason. He should have password protected his session. Very bad idea to walk away while remaining signed on. :-Original Message- :From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On :Behalf Of Mark Zelden :Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 12:58 PM :To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU :Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers :On Wed, 21 May 2008 12:50:42 -0400, Richards, Robert B. :[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: :As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical :jokes are neither practical nor a joke. :What, you don't see the humor in trying to delete SYS1.LINKLIB (don't :worry, :the ENQ will protect you on this one)? :-) :I sort of like the idea of re-mapping the keyboard for the guy in the :cube :that sits next to me. -- Binyamin Dissen [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.dissensoftware.com Director, Dissen Software, Bar Grill - Israel Should you use the mailblocks package and expect a response from me, you should preauthorize the dissensoftware.com domain. I very rarely bother responding to challenge/response systems, especially those from irresponsible companies. -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
I had to ask myself it they were a potential CLM. (career limiting move) Daniel McLaughlin Z-Series Systems Programmer Information Communications Technology Crawford Company 4680 N. Royal Atlanta Tucker GA 30084 phone: 770-621-3256 fax: 770-621-3237 email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] web: www.crawfordandcompany.com Best Overall Third-Party Claims Administrator - 2007 Business Insurance Readers Choice Awards Consider the environment before printing this message. This transmission is intended exclusively for the individual or entity to which it is addressed. This communication may contain information that is confidential, proprietary, privileged or otherwise exempt from disclosure. If you are not the named addressee, you are NOT authorized to read, print, retain, copy or disseminate this communication, its attachments or any part of them. If you have received this communication in error, please notify the sender immediately and delete this communication from all computers. This communication does not form any contractual obligation on behalf of the sender, the sender's employer, or the employer's parent company, affiliates or subsidiaries. -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
-Original Message- From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List On Behalf Of Richards, Robert B. As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical jokes are neither practical nor a joke. Indeed. Remapping somebody's keyboard might be harmless enough, but from there the jokes descend to real and serious crime. -jc- -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
Now THAT is funny... On Wed May 21 13:16 , Rob Scott [EMAIL PROTECTED] sent: I worked at a site once (many) years ago where some bright spark once wrote a program called IJKEFT01 whose sole purpose in life was to just ATTACH IKJEFT01 *unless* it was the target userid in which case it also ATTACHed an extra TCB that randomly generated strange abends at random intervals. Cue frantic hunting through manuals and head scratching of the affected user. Made me smile. Rob Scott Rocket Software, Inc 275 Grove Street Newton, MA 02466 617-614-2305 [EMAIL PROTECTED] -Original Message- From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [EMAIL PROTECTED]','','','')[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Edward Jaffe Sent: 21 May 2008 18:04 To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers Richards, Robert B. wrote: As someone already commented on Tech Target website, these practical jokes are neither practical nor a joke. Jokes or not, I was ROTFLMAO! And, based on the first comment posted, I guess that means I should be locked up! :-D -- Edward E Jaffe Phoenix Software International, Inc 5200 W Century Blvd, Suite 800 Los Angeles, CA 90045 310-338-0400 x318 [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.phoenixsoftware.com/ -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
Rob Scott wrote: I worked at a site once (many) years ago where some bright spark once wrote a program called IJKEFT01 whose sole purpose in life was to just ATTACH IKJEFT01 *unless* it was the target userid in which case it also ATTACHed an extra TCB that randomly generated strange abends at random intervals. In school, *someone* wrote a program called FUN that simulated the command prompt of the interactive system we used. FUN was a simple program that waited for some input from the user, wrote an exact replica of the message that would appear when an unrecognized command was issued (similar to IKJ56500I COMMAND x NOT FOUND in TSO/E), and then re-issued the prompt and looped back to wait for more input. Watching people's reactions, while FUN was running, was FUN! :-D -- Edward E Jaffe Phoenix Software International, Inc 5200 W Century Blvd, Suite 800 Los Angeles, CA 90045 310-338-0400 x318 [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.phoenixsoftware.com/ -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
Ah..., someone, huh...? ;-) On Wed May 21 11:00 , Edward Jaffe [EMAIL PROTECTED] sent: Rob Scott wrote: I worked at a site once (many) years ago where some bright spark once wrote a program called IJKEFT01 whose sole purpose in life was to just ATTACH IKJEFT01 *unless* it was the target userid in which case it also ATTACHed an extra TCB that randomly generated strange abends at random intervals. In school, *someone* wrote a program called FUN that simulated the command prompt of the interactive system we used. FUN was a simple program that waited for some input from the user, wrote an exact replica of the message that would appear when an unrecognized command was issued (similar to IKJ56500I COMMAND x NOT FOUND in TSO/E), and then re-issued the prompt and looped back to wait for more input. Watching people's reactions, while FUN was running, was FUN! :-D -- Edward E Jaffe Phoenix Software International, Inc 5200 W Century Blvd, Suite 800 Los Angeles, CA 90045 310-338-0400 x318 [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.phoenixsoftware.com/ -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
-Original Message- On Wed May 21 11:00 , Edward Jaffe sent: Rob Scott wrote: I worked at a site once (many) years ago where some bright spark once wrote a program called IJKEFT01 whose sole purpose in life was to just ATTACH IKJEFT01 *unless* it was the target userid in which case it also ATTACHed an extra TCB that randomly generated strange abends at random intervals. In school, *someone* wrote a program called FUN that simulated the command prompt of the interactive system we used. FUN was a simple program that waited for some input from the user, wrote an exact replica of the message that would appear when an unrecognized command was issued (similar to IKJ56500I COMMAND x NOT FOUND in TSO/E), and then re-issued the prompt and looped back to wait for more input. Watching people's reactions, while FUN was running, was FUN! :-D Was someone's initials E. E. J. ? -jc- -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
Was someone's initials E. E. J. ? Another 'someone' once wrote a clist that displayed an exact replica of the TSO logon screen that was in use at the time. The clist was named after a commonly used local function, so when the poor victim used it, he would think that he'd been booted off the system. He'd scratch his head, and try to log on again, but the logon screen would ignore his password. It was programmed to unlock itself after about 10 attempts. -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
I once worked with a guy that wrote a VTAM app that would acquire someone's terminal (easy in the dumb terminal days) and display a screen that would look just like the USS MSG10 screen. When the person attempted to logon, it would respond with idiotic messages, after clearing all data out of the buffers. So you would walk into his office for help, he would kill the job that was running, so the screen would clear with you away from it. He would then walk over and proceed to logon as normal. Once you learned the trick, you would first look at the operator info area of the screen to see what type of session you where in before trying to logon. Wayne Driscoll Product Developer NOTE: All opinions are strictly my own. -Original Message- From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Edward Jaffe Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 1:01 PM To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers Rob Scott wrote: I worked at a site once (many) years ago where some bright spark once wrote a program called IJKEFT01 whose sole purpose in life was to just ATTACH IKJEFT01 *unless* it was the target userid in which case it also ATTACHed an extra TCB that randomly generated strange abends at random intervals. In school, *someone* wrote a program called FUN that simulated the command prompt of the interactive system we used. FUN was a simple program that waited for some input from the user, wrote an exact replica of the message that would appear when an unrecognized command was issued (similar to IKJ56500I COMMAND x NOT FOUND in TSO/E), and then re-issued the prompt and looped back to wait for more input. Watching people's reactions, while FUN was running, was FUN! :-D -- Edward E Jaffe Phoenix Software International, Inc 5200 W Century Blvd, Suite 800 Los Angeles, CA 90045 310-338-0400 x318 [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.phoenixsoftware.com/ -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
On Wed, 2008-05-21 at 13:16 -0400, Rob Scott wrote: I worked at a site once (many) years ago where some bright spark once wrote a program called IJKEFT01 Dave Phillips, Tom Rusnak and I once engaged in that sort of wheel war about a million years ago. An example of the sort of thing we'd do: when the other guy logged in, he'd see an annoying message Hey nerd-boy! or something like that. After logging in a few times it would become an irritant, and he'd look around to see where it came from and get rid of it. That was the fun part: leaving lots of false leads. Oh look: his logon proc has been changed to one that executes a SEND. He changes his logon proc back to his standard one, logs on again and gets Hey nerd-boy! Hrm. Further study of his regular logon proc reveals that it STEPLIBs an unfamiliar library with a dubious copy of IKJEFT01. Remove that library from the logon proc, logon again... and get Hey nerd-boy! for his trouble. Dang. Check the logon proc again, and notice that it executes IKJEFTO1 (letter oh). That was sneaky. Fix the logon proc again and re-logon. Hey nerd-boy! Dang. Okay, is the version of IKJEFT01 in the link pack same as the real one? I wouldn't have MLPA-ed or MODREP-ed a tainted copy of the TMP... would I? That was well over 20 years ago, back when we worked 16 hour days for the joy of it. These days the auditors and security officers would go berzerk; but at the time *we* were in charge of security, and EDP auditors hadn't yet arrived on the scene. It boiled down to harmless fun: nobody was hurt by it, and we never broke anything (didn't dare!), and we even learned some cool stuff along the way. Growing up is overrated. (BTW creative misuse of the TSO TERMINAL and PROFILE commands was always good for laughs if you found someone's line-mode TSO session unguarded. Sort of like remapping someone's 3270 emulator today.) -- David Andrews A. Duda and Sons, Inc. [EMAIL PROTECTED] -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
(BTW creative misuse of the TSO TERMINAL and PROFILE commands was always good for laughs if you found someone's line-mode TSO session unguarded. Sort of like remapping someone's 3270 emulator today.) Speaking of remapping, when I was a junior programmer I was loaned out to another project for half a day. The PL didn't want to bother setting up my RACF access for such a short assignment, so he just gave me his password (which was against the rules, even in those days) and let me use his TSO userid. The PL had PFK10 set up as CANCEL. This screwed me up because my own userid had PFK10 set up as SAVE. After losing several rounds of changes by hitting CANCEL when I meant SAVE, I changed the PL's PFK10 setting to match the one I was accustomed to. This would have been fine except that I forgot to change it back again when I finished using his userid. I heard some colourful language the next day when the PL SAVE'd some changes he'd meant to CANCEL. :-) He couldn't very well report me to Security, since he shouldn't have let me use his userid in the first place. :-) -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
'card chads'? Showing your age! Whish I had thought of that back when we had them! Jerry Tom Marchant [EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent by: IBM Mainframe Discussion List IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU 05/21/2008 03:53 PM Please respond to IBM Mainframe Discussion List IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU To IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU cc Subject Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers Ok, these are old and don't involve any modern technology. 1. Take all the drawers out of someone's desk, turn the desk upside down and re-insert the drawers so that they were right-side up in the upside down desk. The guy comes in, turns his desk back right-side up and when he opens a drawer, its contents spill onto the floor, or his lap. 2. Remove the contents of a desk drawer and fill it with card chads and a propellor hooked to a rubber band, like one of those toy airplanes. When he opens the drawer, the propeller takes off and throws chads everywhere. -- Tom Marchant -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
-Original Message- From: IBM Mainframe Discussion List [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Jerry Fuchs Sent: Wednesday, May 21, 2008 2:58 PM To: IBM-MAIN@BAMA.UA.EDU Subject: Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers 'card chads'? Showing your age! Whish I had thought of that back when we had them! Jerry Or he's in Florida! -- John McKown Senior Systems Programmer HealthMarkets Keeping the Promise of Affordable Coverage Administrative Services Group Information Technology The information contained in this e-mail message may be privileged and/or confidential. It is for intended addressee(s) only. If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any disclosure, reproduction, distribution or other use of this communication is strictly prohibited and could, in certain circumstances, be a criminal offense. If you have received this e-mail in error, please notify the sender by reply and delete this message without copying or disclosing it. -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
On Wed, 21 May 2008 13:18:09 -0400, Richards, Robert B. [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote: I smiled when I read them, but then the adult inside me kicked in his two cents and decided that to actually do these jokes would not be funny. ... I very seldomly find practical jokes funny. But I could see something similar to most of those happening through a brain-check or finger- check. You have to be able to laugh after the fact. Or cry. In a similar vein, ... Back in the 80s, back when IEBCOPY had multiple load modules for various functions (an overlay config?), a clever operator decided to compress SYS1.LINKLIB for us. That's a good joke to play on any shop on a very old release. Pat O'Keefe -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
--snip-- In school, *someone* wrote a program called FUN that simulated the command prompt of the interactive system we used. FUN was a simple program that waited for some input from the user, wrote an exact replica of the message that would appear when an unrecognized command was issued (similar to IKJ56500I COMMAND x NOT FOUND in TSO/E), and then re-issued the prompt and looped back to wait for more input. Watching people's reactions, while FUN was running, was FUN! :-D unsnip-- I had a program that took control of the whole system. It then issued the message System error has occurred. Reply '/crash ' or '/nocrash' No matter what you replied, the result was the same: Invalid reply. '/Crash' assumed. Then the whole core box was cleared and a branch to location x'00'. Even SADUMP was useless as a debugging tool. :-) -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
On 21 May 2008 12:43:34 -0700, [EMAIL PROTECTED] (Don Leahy) wrote: The PL had PFK10 set up as CANCEL. This screwed me up because my own userid had PFK10 set up as SAVE. After losing several rounds of changes by hitting CANCEL when I meant SAVE, I changed the PL's PFK10 setting to match the one I was accustomed to. I limit my Fkey function changes to changes that won't mess others up. This can mean in SDSF I have commands for Shift-7 shift-8 that correspond with the default 7 8. And my shift-swap work with swap options. The only one that is real different is F12 because I need a key for recall. The most common command people (I have seen) have different from that does a Submit. -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
On 21 May 2008 12:57:59 -0700, [EMAIL PROTECTED] (Jerry Fuchs) wrote: 'card chads'? Showing your age! Whish I had thought of that back when we had them! Those rectangular chads could hurt someone when they get into one's eyes. -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
How about an operator command we wrote as follows: $TSYS=HI $HASP000 OK $HASP999 System now in high speed Adam -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
-snip 'card chads'? Showing your age! Whish I had thought of that back when we had them! Those rectangular chads could hurt someone when they get into one's eyes. unsnip--- AMEN. Spent 6 weeks with an eyepatch because of a practical joker; chads damaged my cornea to the point where a transplant was seriously considered. -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
I'm surprised at how many people missed the point of this blog post. The blogger was correct. We have lost our sense of humour. Did anybody read the disclaimer? [Update: For those of you who missed the tongue in cheek nature of this post, it is in fact, a joke. Please don’t try this at work. — Matt Stansberry, Editor] - Too busy driving to stop for gas! -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
There's a simple ROT here. Do NOT assign PF keys to CANCEL (or SAVE, which as your experience demonstrates, is similarly destructive when unintended.) It's users' foolishness in so doing which impels vendors to presume to save them from their own stupidity by adding PITA confirmation dialogs on such commands. It IS NOT stupidity to customise keys! If a user wants a SAVE or CANCEL key, and knows where it is, what is the problem? It's the sharing IDs that was the problem, with different preferences. The sharing of IDs was never a good practice. - Too busy driving to stop for gas! -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
On Wed, 21 May 2008 15:31:16 -0400, David Andrews wrote: That was well over 20 years ago, back when we worked 16 hour days for the joy of it. These days the auditors and security officers would go berzerk; but at the time *we* were in charge of security, and EDP auditors hadn't yet arrived on the scene. It boiled down to harmless fun: nobody was hurt by it, and we never broke anything (didn't dare!), and we even learned some cool stuff along the way. I know a couple hackers from that era who had an ethic about practical jokes. While each had superuser authority, neither ever used it to hack the other. However, terminals left unattended on unprivileged logins were fair game ... -- gil -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
On Wed, 21 May 2008 23:39:44 +, Ted MacNEIL wrote: It IS NOT stupidity to customise keys! If a user wants a SAVE or CANCEL key, and knows where it is, what is the problem? I envy your dexterity. OTOH, I recall bitter opposition (though not unanimous) in these pages when I expressed a wish that ISPF would allow me to disable in my profile confirmation of data set deletion. I wouldn't make DELETE or CANCEL a single keystroke command, but I feel DENTER gives me sufficient opportunity to reconsider, and I shouldn't need to type / to bypass confirmation every time I enter DSLIST. -- gil -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
I think some of the things on the list are conceptual jokes but not practical, sort of like the stuff that happens to Wiley Coyote. These are funny to think about, or see in a cartoon, but not funny if they really happened to someone. I think the guideline for jokes has to be harmlessness. A joke should be funny and clever. It can be annoying or embarrassing or frustrating, but you have to draw the line at the potential for actual harm. If it has the potential for real harm, then it is not a joke. Roger Bolan infoprint.com Boulder, Colorado, USA P Think before you print -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
I wouldn't make DELETE or CANCEL a single keystroke command, but I feel
DENTER gives me sufficient opportunity to reconsider, and I shouldn't need
to type / to bypass confirmation every time I enter DSLIST.
There is a way in DSLIST, or ISPF EDIT.
Make the single CANCEL Key (EDIT) the following:
== CANCEL;;
Where ';' is your logical ENTER key (';' is the default).
You can do the same with DSLIST -- I just can't remember if the format is the
same.
-
Too busy driving to stop for gas!
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Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
I think some of the things on the list are conceptual jokes but not practical, sort of like the stuff that happens to Wiley Coyote. These are funny to think about, or see in a cartoon, but not funny if they really happened to someone. I think the guideline for jokes has to be harmlessness. What is with you people? There was a disclaimer at the front, stating that it was satire and don't do this at work! Why is the end of the world? - Too busy driving to stop for gas! -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
At 13:06 -0400 on 05/21/2008, Richards, Robert B. wrote about Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers: Ask the person that was the object of the joke if they thought it was funny. Hey, I like a good joke as much as the next person, but these did not hit my funny bone for some reason. Bob This reminds me of a joke pulled on a fellow student (whose last name happened to be Phelps) a large number of years ago. We had a time sharing system (with a tractor paper feed terminal) where you were allow a designated amount of computer time a week. One day his account was set to start outputting a Mission Impossible briefing starting Good Morning Mr. Phelps when he logged on and the ability to interrupt the session was disabled. The Briefing ended with the statement IN 5 SECONDS YOUR TIME FOR THE WEEK WILL SELF-DESTRUCT and it started to page eject advance the paper typing the 5-4-3-2-1 count down and then logging him off. Until his account was reset his remaining time was 0 minutes. -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers
At 15:01 -0600 on 05/21/2008, Howard Brazee wrote about Re: Practical jokes for mainframe systems programmers: Those rectangular chads could hurt someone when they get into one's eyes. They can also affect national elections if not fully detached from the punched card. -- For IBM-MAIN subscribe / signoff / archive access instructions, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the message: GET IBM-MAIN INFO Search the archives at http://bama.ua.edu/archives/ibm-main.html
