ANDY: I'd say we're better off than a lot of people. Got a roof over our
heads, Aunt
Bee--finest food you ever put in your mouth-- Barney for a friend.
Yeah, in
some ways I'd say we are rich.
BARN: You see Opie, it ain't only the materialistic things in this world that
BARNEY: Zz.
ANDY: HOW YOU DOIN', BARN?
BARN: Andy. Hhh.
ANDY: Asleep?
BARN: Nawh, I was just watchin' traffic.
ANDY: How da' ya' watch traffic with your eyes closed?
BARN: They weren't closed. I just had 'em squinched up so they couldn't see
me
lookin'.
Quote of the Day
Eleanora: Oh, I can feel it. You're going to be another Leonard Blush.
Barney: Oh no, that's too much to ask.
Eleanora: Why not? He just walked in here off the street one day. Two
years later he sang the Star Spangled Banner at the opening of the
County Insecticide Convention
BARN: Oh, he's loaded.
Floyd: I wonder how he got all that money.
Barn: You kiddin? Wilson's Orthopedic Insoles?
Floyd: That's the Charlie Wislon we know?
Barn: Yeah . . . got out of the fruit stand business and made a
bundle.he's a smart man..knew where the money was.
Hey, Mayberry friends. I love this:
Just what can you do with a grown woman?Opie Taylor
Larry in Lincolnton
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---
ANDY: Now, looky herewe better talk about this thing.. Now,
now, now, looky
here Opie. You can't give a little piddling amount like three
cents to a
worthy cause like the Under Privileged Children's Drive. Why, I
was readin'
here just the other day where
Andy: You think it's right for Sarah to listen in on his phone calls?
Aunt Bee: No, of course not. And before she said one word I told her
straight out she shouldn't do it. Gossiping is very rude.
Andy: Good for you, Aunt Bee.
Bee: And I'm not one to carry tales about people either. ...Well...
BARNEY: Oh, it's no use, Andy! Can you tell a bird to talk?! Can you tell
a bird to just go 'chirp, chirp, chirp?' No, Andy, I'm like a bird. I was
born to sing. ...Well if you'll excuse me I got some throat spray out
in the
car. If I'm gonna be doin' solos I better give myself a couple
I don't trust him Andy, and you know why?
a. A guy moves into town.
2. He has no job; and
c. He wants to marry Mrs. Bendelmright.
Barney, you're gassed!
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Andy: Luther, you're a little late now and then.
Luther: What ya say?
Andy: I say you're late! You're draggin'.
Luther: Yeah, it sounds real good to me too!
Andy: No, Luther! It was off! It was way off!
Luther: How's that?
Andy: It was off!
Luther: Yes.
---
Opie: ...but I don't understand why you're supposed to be happy about
losin'.
Andy: You don't have to be happy about it. None of us are. I've lost a
whole lot of times and I've been just as unhappy about it as I could be.
Andy: You see, as you grow older you're gonna be doin' an awful lot
BARNEY:
Hello Floyd, this is Barney Fife. Who's in the
chair...well get rid of 'em. I'm coming over and I'm ready for action.!
That's right I want the works. Shave haircut, witch Hazel, O.D.
cologne, toliet water...If it smells I want it.
Barney: I don't trust him Andy, and you know why?
a. A guy moves into town.
2. He has no job; and
c. He wants to marry Mrs. Bendelmright.
Andy: Barney, you're gassed!
-
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Reading Allan's quote of the day brought back a memory from my high school
days. We would also write something in our books. It went something like
this.
This book belongs to Kenneth G. Anderson. If found please throw in a fire.
Amazing what hidden memories are brought back by various TAGS
LOL
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I don't trust him Andy, and you know why?
a. A guy moves into town.
2. He has no job; and
c. He wants to marry Mrs. Bendelmright.
Barney, you're gassed!
-
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Barney: Hi Andy.
Andy:Hi Barn.
Barney:Look at that would ya.
Andy:What's That?
Barney: My old history book. The one I used way back in the eighth Grade.
Andy: I'll be dog. (Andy takes the book and sits down at the desk.
Barney stands beside him.)
Barney: Yeah, With all this
Glad to see it back.,
Thanks, Allan.
Martha
H.untsville, AL
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Barney: Boy you insist on flyin' right in the face of scientific fact
don't ya?
Andy: Scientific fact?
Barney: There are atmospheric rays which control bodily motions. Now
if a person containin' negative or hexin' qualities gets between you
and them rays, well he creates a static that jars
Opie: Guess where I been!
Andy: Well I give up. Where?
Opie: I can't tell ya. But ya know what I did? I joined a club!
Andy: Well that's fine. What club was that?
Opie: I can't tell ya.
Andy: You're kinda' secret ain't ya?
Opie: Uh huh. Know where we meet?
Andy: No. Where?
Opie: I can't tell
Andy: Don't that seem a little strange to you - a customer goin' back
to the barber shop the very next day?
Barney: No.
Andy: No?
Barney: No. Didn't you ever hear of a person with a compelsion complex?
Andy: A what?
Barney: Compelsion complex. You know, like when folks gotta be washin'
their
ANDY: Something botherin' you?
BARNEY: Aw, I don't know...just wondering where we're gonna eat lunch.
ANDY: What about the Diner?
BARN: I checked the special on the way in. Chicken wings, rice,
and mixed vegetables.
ANDY: That don't sound bad.
BARN: You know
FLOYD: Oh, no. He wouldn't have gone there. You know what they
charge for things in the big city.
ANDY: Yeah, Floyd. An arm and a leg.
FLOYD: An arm and a leg.an arm and a leg! Say! That's funny.
An arm and a leg, I want to remember that one. Did you hear that on TV?
---
ANDY:Well, you've got three sandwiches in here.
BARN:Well, that's right: two for lunch time and one for late in the
day when I get my sinking spell.
ANDY:Well, we'll get you another one.
BARN:That's on salt-risen bread, you know.
ANDY:Well, we'll get on
Opie: You wanna rub my head?
Andy: I wanna what?
Opie: Go on. I'm a redhead you know. ...I'm just helpin' ya take
precautions against a jinx.
Andy: Where'd you learn that?
Barney: Oh he probably picked it up somewhere's, Andy. You know how
kids are. They're always pickin' things up.
Andy:
Andy: Luther, you're a little late now and then.
Luther: What ya say?
Andy: I say you're late! You're draggin'.
Luther: Yeah, it sounds real good to me too!
Andy: No, Luther! It was off! It was way off!
Luther: How's that?
Andy: It was off!
Luther: Yes.
Hey Allan,
Thanks so much for the quote of the day, as I read each line, I could hear our
dear Andy and Barney saying them. You brightened my day and I thank you kindly!
Anita Carpenter
One of Cincinnati's Biggest TAGS Fans!!!
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--
ANDY: I'd say we're better off than a lot of people. Got a roof over
our heads, Aunt Bee--finest food you ever put in your mouth-- Barney for
a friend. Yeah, in some ways I'd say we are rich.
BARN: You see Opie, it ain't only the materialistic things in this
world that makes a
Ahhh, Allan, what could I add except AMEN..AMENAMEN.
NANCY
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Always love the quote of the day--you can actually hear the actors saying
them. Floyd was such a dear character..love to hear nice things said about
him and the actor who portrayed him. The best show with the best characters
ever to be on tv.
Marcia from Evansville
--
BARNEY:You know, a few years back a similar thing happened to me.
ANDY: Yeah?
BARN: Maybe I never told you about it. The girls name was Halcyon
Loretta Winslow.
ANDY: Pretty name.
BARN: Ugliest girl you ever saw in your life. What happened was
her father got
BARNEY:??? You know, a few years back a similar thing happened to me.
ANDY:? Yeah?
BARN:? Maybe I never told you about it.? The girls name was Halcyon
Loretta Winslow.
?
Is this the same Winslow girl that Ernest T. courted? His pet name for her was
Hogette.
?
Alf Ralph Monroe
Monroe
--
BARNEY:You know, a few years back a similar thing happened to me.
ANDY: Yeah?
BARN: Maybe I never told you about it. The girls name was Halcyon
Loretta Winslow.
ANDY: Pretty name.
BARN: Ugliest girl you ever saw in your life. What happened was
her father got
--
FLOYD: 92people always talking about the weather but nobody does
anything about it.(Pause). You know who said that?.Calvin Coolidge
said that.
ANDY:No Floyd, Calvin Coolidge didn't say that. Mark Twain said
that.
FLOYD: Are you sure Mark Twain didn't get
--
Juanita, Juanita,
Lovely, dear Juanita,
From your head down to your feet,
There's nothing half so sweet,
As Juanita, Juanita, Juanit.
Oh, there are things of wonder,
Of which men like to sing.
There are pretty sunsets and birds upon the wing,
But of the joys of nature,
None truly can
--
BARNEY:Gentlemen, I have the following announcement to make. Count
Iztvan Telecky EXIST!!
--
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--
RAFE: I ain't never been to a doctor in my life. When I was born,
I had my mamma. When I die, I'll have the undertaker. I don't see no
sense in clutterin' up things in between.
--
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--
BARNEY: What man would vote for a woman?
FOLEY: The same weak kneed, chicken livered, turn coat that would
sign a petition!
BARNEY: I'm just waitin' for you to go to far.
--
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--
BARNEY:I'd like to make a reservation. Table for two about quarter
past one.Yeah...B. Fife...That's right. Oh, and listen, put a
bottle of your best red wine on ice for me will you?.Room
temperature? Oh, well, that's a matter of taste.
--
--
AUNT BEE:I was admiring your hearty appetites.
BRISCOE: I bet it does your heart good to see a real eater at
work, huh?
ANDY:Y' all cooking for yourselves now that Charlene's
married, are you?
BRISCOE: Oh, the boys there. They been takin' turns. They're
This was from The Cow Thief - the mayor brings in a state investigator and
Barney regards him as nothing more than an interloper. Of course this changes
when the investigator recalls an article Barney wrote about safety on county
roads.
Walk on the left after dark,and you'll wind up playing
--
BARNEY: Mayberry Sheriff's office; Town headquarters; Andy Taylor
Sheriff; Deputy Barney Fife speaking, Hello?
--
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For all the trained noticers out there and trivial triviality thinkers, I think
it would be a good idea, when Allan has the quote of the day, to see who can
name which episode it's from.
I'd like to see just how good you are.
Get to it!
Brenda Bee Higgins
New Concord, OH
--
ANDY:Remember, Barn. Just you and me. The Big Freeze.
--
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--
BARN: Zz.
ANDY: HOW YOU DOIN', BARN?
BARN: Andy. Hhh.
ANDY: Asleep?
BARN: Nawh, I was just watchin' traffic.
ANDY: How da' ya' watch traffic with your eyes closed?
BARN: They weren't closed. I just had 'em squinched up so they
couldn't
--
BARNEY: Well, where's Aunt Bee with lunch? She's usually here and
gone by now.
ANDY: She's a little late.
BARNEY: Well, I'm hungry, Ange.
ANDY: She'll be along in a few minutes. Relax
BARN: Well, I happen to have this low sugar-blood content, and if
I don't
--
ANDY: Something botherin' you?
BARNEY: Aw, I don't know...just wondering where we're gonna eat lunch.
ANDY: What about the Diner?
BARN: I checked the special on the way in. Chicken wings, rice,
and mixed vegetables.
ANDY: That don't sound bad.
BARN:
--
ERNEST T:No coffee, tea or punch thank you.
ANDY: That's fine, Ernest T., but you're talkin' through your nose.
ERNEST T:I know. I do that on purpose, so I can talk whilest I eat.
--
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--
FLOYD: Oh, no. He wouldn't have gone there. You know what they
charge for things in the big city.
ANDY: Yeah, Floyd. An arm and a leg.
FLOYD: An arm and a leg.an arm and a leg! Say! That's funny.
An arm and a leg, I want to remember that one. Did you hear that
--
BARN: Hi, Floyd.
ANDY: Floyd.
FLOYD: Oh, hello Barn, Andy.
BARN: Floyd, have you seen anything of Otis lately?
FLOYD: No, not since yesterday morning. Said he was leaving town.
ANDY: Leaving town?
FLOYD: Mm, hm. He came in for a shave...twice over too.
--
HELEN: Lydia, would you like a pretzel?
LYDIA: No thank you. They lay on my chest.
HELEN: I'm sorry. Goober?
GOOBER: Yo!
BARNEY(to Andy): Not much lays on his chest.
--
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Hi Everyone!
I Love, Love, Love the Quote of The Day! GREAT JOB ALLAN!!!
Berkeley Heights Aunt Bee
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--
BARNEY: Let's see. I'm not too hungry this morning. I'll have
uhorange juice, bowl of cereal, stack of wheats, three eggs
over--make sure they ain't runny now Olive--bacon on the crisp side,
white toast buttered, hash brown potatoes, and coffee--coffee and cream.
OLIVE:
--
BARNEY: I don't know how they do it for 80 cents.
ANDY:I don't either, I tell you.
BARN:Three Vienna sausages-heavy on the tomato puree, slice of
bread, and butter on a paper dish.
ANDY:And more than an ample portion of succotash. Don't leave
out the
--
BARNEY:Ain't chicken spelled i-n?
ANDY:No, he's got it right.
BARN:You sure?
ANDY:Uh-huh. I before e except after c and e before n
in chicken.
BARN:Aw, yeahI always forget that rule.
--
___
---
ANDY:Well, you've got three sandwiches in here.
BARN:Well, that's right: two for lunch time and one for late in the
day when I get
my sinking spell.
ANDY:Well, we'll get you another one.
BARN:That's on salt-risen bread, you know.
ANDY:Well, we'll get on
---
OPIE:It ain't easy gettin a peanut butter and jelly sandwich down
dry. Yesterday, I almost choked.
---
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