Thank you Udhay. One of the things about this list that I felt (this is subjective) has been the lack of emotion. Topics were coolly and clinically observed and commented upon. Feelings were almost never referred to. However much I admired the intelligence, I did miss the emotion. So this post touches my heart as well as my brain.
"Keep calm and carry on" only works for some people, but this unwritten rule seems to become mandatory. We're expected to get over our grief by hiding it, and always showing a cheerful face. In these unprecedented times of isolation, when not everyone has a family to touch and hug, it can aggravate the stress. I've been lucky that I have lost no one in my immediate family. But friends, good friends, close friends, have succumbed. It's not only death. The loss of other things. Many of us identify with our work, and I have seen several friends lose their jobs. Part of their paycheck, because of pay cuts. Their time, because of the blurring of work and leisure hours. There is what I would call "lateral grief", when I see my friends struggling and trying to keep the smile on their faces, pasted on, covering the sadness. Children are, I think, among the most affected, because of not being able to be with others of their age, without adult supervision. My grandchildren seem to have coped. But the effects on this isolation may not be known for a long time. I have coped by trying to turn loneliness to solitude. To switch from the external locus of control, to the inner side. My nature walks have truly been a lifesaver for me. They allow me to both be with other people, and be contented in myself. The lockdowns have been far easier for me, and I am very grateful for that. I am grateful for the internet, and to electricity, which has kept us going. My family was not here through the present lockdown, but the fact that they were in a relatively safer place was a comfort. Is being "comfortably numb" the way to deal with this? I don't know. I am a gregarious person, but have become more of a solitary one. Is it me, the ageing process, or the pandemic? I don't know. I was someone who would rush to hug a friend. Now I have controlled that impulse. We all need the human touch, both figurative and physically. The lack of Vitamin T is a serious lack. Too long, but I will let it stand I was writing as much for myself as responding to Udhay. Deepa. On Fri, 23 Jul, 2021, 05:00 Udhay Shankar N, <[email protected]> wrote: > So. > > Given the events of the past year and a half, many people are dealing with > loss and grief. Coupled with the fact that people have been stuck in one > place for most of this time, they are turning to social media for help in > dealing with it - either seeking emotional support, or just catharsis. > Given my filter bubble, I have mostly seen this on Facebook. > > Have you folks also seen this? What are your thoughts? > > Some of the people who have done this are on this list. If you want to > speak up, great. If not, that's perfectly fine too. You could mute this > thread if it is painful for you - but if you want to use this space to seek > support, I'd be honoured. > > Udhay > > -- > ((Udhay Shankar N)) ((via phone)) >
