I am really amazed at the type of responses I've seen come through since I posted this yesterday wow! It is interesting to watch people open up and share thoughts and feelings. I appreciate all of the comments and I'm glad it touched people somehow.
Byron, you raise something that is interesting to me here. I am interested in what other people think, too. Ya see, I'm not expert in all this. I just observe and draw conclusions. And read about stuff. Heh. Byron, you talk about wanting someone to share in at least some of your interests. What I'm curious about (this is for anyone to comment on) is whether or not it matters which interests she shares in, based on the level of importance the interest holds for you. I'll paint a picture. I have this theory that men want to be with someone who shares in whatever interest is most important to them. So if a man is most interested in techy stuff, for example, he would most likely be more attracted to a woman who is into it as well. Wouldn't that seem most logical? After all, the word, "relationship" implies the ability to relate. If a woman does not share the same interest as her partner, wouldn't that also suggest an inability to relate? I asked this very question to a friend of mine and here is what he said. "She and I do things together that we both enjoy. It doesn't matter to me that she cannot relate to me in my top interests because there is a special feeling that comes from the time we spend, and just knowing that she is so good to me and that she truly cares for me. If I want to talk about things that she and I can't talk about, I just go talk to someone else. That fulfills me just fine." This seems hard for me to believe. If I were dating someone who is really into audio production and I wasn't, it would seem to me that regardless of whatever else we shared, he would most prefer to be with someone who is also into audio production. Suppose the girl was interested in learning more about the man's joys. She read up on it, asked questions, went to events with him on the subject so she could be a part of it, and even if she hadn't explored it on her own until he came along, she was willing to do so now, both for the sake of understanding his enjoyment, as well as to broaden her own horizons. Would this matter? Wouldn't her level of interest have to be homegrown for it to truly count? Mary Ann -----Original Message----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Byron J. Lee Sent: Thursday, September 20, 2007 7:59 PM To: talk2 Subject: Re: The Talk2 List MARRIED LIFE - Mary Ann unleashes! Look out! Mary Ann, This e-mail helped me greatly, I have been in a lot of relationships where I feel like I can't be myself. I am a quirky guy who likes to play with computers, radios, and phones. I like to record interesting or really mundane things like trips to the grocery store. My friends are very important to me, and I spend a lot of time with them. I don't feel like I am allowed to be this type of person when I'm dating someone. I feel like I have to spend every waking moment with her. I feel like I've got roses and chocolates coming out of my ears and it'll never end. I hate the fluffy puppy love crap, I want to find someone who will let me be the kind of person I really am around her. I don't want to cut her out of my life and hide in a cave and spend my entire day on the computer, but I would like to not feel like a slime bucket when I do. I want to find someone who will be interested in some of the same stuff as me, and wouldn't mind sharing these hobbies with me. I'm willing to participate in her hobbies too but it never seems to work that way. Every woman I've ever dated has always tried to take away everything I hold dear, and replace it with stuff she wants me to participate in. I'm a geek, I like who I am, stop trying to make me someone I'm not! Watch Star Trek with me and don't belittle it. Listen to books with me, and comment on the parts that you liked and disliked. Help to broaden my horizons and expose me to new ideas that I've never thought of. Talk to me on an intellectual level, I'm not an idiot. Be a part of my circle of friends, or at least let me hang out with them on a regular basis. These are the things I'm looking for in a relationship, and your e-mail helped me understand the way women think a bit better. Maybe if I had said some of these things to the people I've dated, things may have changed for the better. Perhaps if I were more open with people, they would understand me a little better. Thanks Mary Ann, Byron Onj wrote: > Very rarely, I get something that is so enspiring that I have to think > about it. I'm keeping this. It was just right somehow. It must have > taken you a long time to write it, and it's times like this I wonder > what people think of this list I started back in 2004. It has it's > uses though. I think that you've proved it today. I can't be nearly > as eloquent at saying this as you, but you really did a good job. And > you made me really hungry. > So with that, I shall depart. > > > On Thursday, September 20, 2007 6:55 PM, > Mary Ann Topolewski happened to mention in passing loads of really > interesting stuff so read the original message and not this reply > because it's better. byeeeeeeeeeeee! > > > > Did you miss a message? Well, don't. > http://www.mail-archive.com/talk2%40andrelouis.com/ > has it for you. Never miss a Talk2 message again. > Did you miss a message? Well, don't. http://www.mail-archive.com/talk2%40andrelouis.com/ has it for you. Never miss a Talk2 message again. __________ NOD32 2541 (20070920) Information __________ This message was checked by NOD32 antivirus system. http://www.eset.com Did you miss a message? Well, don't. http://www.mail-archive.com/talk2%40andrelouis.com/ has it for you. Never miss a Talk2 message again.
