[email protected] wrote .. > Software Freedom is an important thing, but to some extent, you have to think > about yourself and your happiness.
> For me, making a decent living and not being isolated from society are more restrictions. I did give in and use some sort of proprietary web app from Adobe, in order to get a job that pays more than the rest but still won't cover all my gas, food, and rent. I would have room mates, but I wouldn't want to burden them with living with me. Their cooking will smell worse than pot smoke, and I will constantly be frustrated trying not to say anything about it or make them feel uncomfortable. Also, looking in the fridge will flash gruesome images through my head, and I can't have that happen in my own home anymore. > important than 100% software freedom. > That's why i don't refuse to use whatsapp on my cellphone, though I hate the > fact. I once caved and used Facebook to talk to people on Messenger. Nobody really liked to talk, and nobody wanted to hang out. "Too busy." So it was no better than IRC. > For a first step, forget everything else and think about your health. I'm thinking about skipping work and sitting on the patio of a coffee shop that faces lots of people. If I don't hear them speak, I can usually convince myself that there's someone in that crowd who would have a shred of understanding and empathy for me, and appreciate me. > Once you're doing fine again, you can gradually introduce free software into > your life to a level you feel still comfortable with and not like an outcast. Thanks for the suggestion, but I've tried that with Facebook. It ultimately left me with no arrangements for in-person visits, and whatever community there is online will have the same problem. > I have to more advice for you: Never stop looking for a good therapist. There > are horrible ones out there, it will not be easy, but you can find a good one > in the end. We can't afford that, and the therapists don't understand how I'd feel if I took their advice and got a smartphone/Facebook. I've tried it before, and I felt like I wasn't myself. > Never refuse to take medicals for the time being. If things are > serious, it's the only thing that helps (if I had to choose one fact that I > know for sure in my life, it's this one). Yes, I know. Although because I don't have a psych, this wasn't prescribed to me. My family just said "take this." At times, the medication worked. But I don't think I should have taken it last night. Something scary happened in my mind. It makes me lose any sense of empathy. It doesn't curb my anger, and because I have no empathy, I want to destroy things. Last night, when I took it, I wanted to take all my dollar bills and burn them, because they were all worthless. Sure, they could buy me a few toys, but they could never pay for my life so I'm not a parasite on my family.
