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Thanks so much for your reply Leoncio. That was appreciated.
This is leading into my case.
So I think I will go into it and describe it here for normal class
room style case discussion, as if we were in a normal training
school. Like in nursing school, chiropractic school, psychology
school, doctor school, etc.
This data of Dennis Stephens' that posting wins or stories are not
necessary is bullshit and just one of his many mind games, mind
traps and mind twisters.
Dennis was playing a very clever and complex game of "must know"
and " must not know " at the same time with his reader or listener.
And so is the idea of not discussing cases in scn.
That may be applicable in or amongst low theta entities only. ( as
was much of scientology ) But hopefully we in this group are
somewhat higher up the theta scale or scale of intellectual evolution
than others.
To do solo is not for the feeble minded and faint hearted. So I
don't think there are any here. I hope I am correct.
I have run out most pictures with TROM with TBing. There has been
lots. And a fair bit of charge ran out also.
I feel like I have run all or most of L2 and L3 .
This has been quite helpful so far.
Now I am getting mostly emotional stuff.
I have been doing what ever I can with it by TB ing it.
And working with L 4.
This is not going so well.
The emotional stuff seems to be never ending. This has been going
for more than a month.
My emotions seem to be mostly anxiety , fear and guilt.
LIke was just mentioned I do take every opportunity to run out and
time break everything that gets restimulated while aout and about.
That is the mostly the only way I can process now. I do get some
restimulation of pictures and past incidents in the outside world, but
mostly just this emotional crap.
I am afraid of close relationships with men and women and more so
with women and I go catatonic when a woman shows signs of wanting an
intimate relationship with me.
I go catatonic ( go into stupor and numbness ) at those times.
This has went on since childhood.
The best I can do with a relationship is to have an intellectual
relationship.
I have not been able to find any certain cause.
I got this much, but I think there is more. ( I think the rest is
genetic based on my research. )
Note:
( Based on my research I think a lot more of our cases is from
genetically inherited stuff, than previously thought. The bible says
the sins of the fathers are passed on to the third and forth
generation. Other ancient data says similar.
That means that we will express in the form of "disease" or "dis-
ease" or disorder, idiosyncracies, traits, etc. etc. that is a
result of an unresolved issues of our ancestors.
{I was told of one case that a five yr old boy in Europe, who could
not speak, but only mumble and with some clever intuitive therapy it
was discovered (suspected ) that his grandfather had a suspected
serious "withhold" of a crime of treason committed during war and when
the child was made to" make believe" that he was his grandfather and
a hero of war etc, and re-enact a similar drama and tell , although
through only mumbling, a story of his great feats and adventures in
war, with as much emotional feeling as possible , the child
began to speak in a few days, not well at first but improved for
some time after. Today I am told the child is quite normal. }
And we also inherit a whole lot of other stuff, like your mother's
eyes, father's mouth , grand father's torso , your uncle's "nose" ,
your aunts "laugh" or what ever. We all know this.
But what is less known is that there are also emotional and
psychological stuff also. Good and bad. I think that what we think
is past life stuff may actually be genetic stuff. At least one self /
critical thinking, former Russian well experienced scientologist says
that past life stuff (previous incarnations) is just imagination and
group agreement in false data. )
In terms of this life I get the sense ( from what ever memory I can
get ) that my mom did not know how to look after a child. ( I was
number one.)
Their marriage was pretty rough. My dad was not an emotional or
affectionate person. For the most part work was the only thing that
was important.
I was only provided basic food and clothing and shelter and minimum
emotional nourishment. And strict upbringing and plenty of
scoldings and beatings for being "bad" according to my dad, which now
I see, was only making normal mistakes in the normal learning
process. Like spilling milk or getting shoes wet or getting dirty.
This is what I think so far. I may be wrong though and stand to be
corrected.
I feel like I was not emotionally nourished as a child. Human
contact and relationships mean pain to me. Then there is also the
guilt factor, which I do not know the source of. I suspect it was
either implanted by my dad for control or inherited or both.
My research indicates to me that for example if we are emotionally
nourished hugged and kissed and cuddled a lot as a child, life was a
safe place and a safe or loving thing to experience, we get
conditioned ( called jmprinting in conventional psychology ) for that
and ( desire/ require ) that as an adult and need it for best survival.
I never knew what a hug was until I left home at 19 and went into the
outside world and mingled with other people.
I do not like hugging and never did no matter how much I tried to
over ride the fear and discomfort.
My research into this is that we are all products of our conditioning
and all information we experienced from conception ( plus everything
that went on prenatal ) plus genetic inheritances.
So how ever we were conditioned , what ever we were programed with ,
is what we know and is what makes up our make up and what we require
for our well being or resist.
I think genetic stuff can be run out just the same as bank stuff or
analytical mind stuff.
I welcome all suggestions to trash this terrible case out and
reprogram if necessary.
David
On 25-Jun-10, at 1:16 PM, Leôncio Madruga wrote:
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Hi David
From my point of view..
<What is anxiety?>
Anxiety is fear, like Pete said. But it is a fear of unknown origin.
<What causes anxiety?>
The being had several charged e dangerous event in his past.
The self defense mechanism hides those dangerous events in the
reactive mind.
The reactive mind, stirred by some aspect of those events, can
show, in the case of anxiety, just the associated emotion of them:
fear.
The rational mind see the fear but cannot see the origin: anxiety.
<How to run it??>
There was one (or more) unknown scene connected with a fear.
The fear is present now.
Contour: Just do a RI and get some sleep until morning.
Resolution by TROM:
1. Try to remember full of fear scenes, and TB them.
2. Or imagine the worst scenes with fear, and TB them.
3. Or apply TB on Now versus a real or imagined opposite scene (a
totally safe scene).
After that you will be not compulsive with yours fears on those
scenes, and you will be able to resolve your problems, out there.
When I was 14, I felt a panic fear from darkness when came home
alone. I had to inspect all rooms, including under the beds, and so
on, chasing some thief.
On the third nigth, with the same fear ritual, I decided that I
could not act like that all my life. Then I realized that my problem
was fear of the darkness and not fear of the thief. Then I turn off
all ligths, and went to the darkest place in my backyard. I stayed
there, trembling, full of fear, seeing the trees, like ghosts, being
moved by a terrible wind in the night, without stars or moon. After
two minutes of terror, the fear disappeared
completely. I never more felt compulsion due the fear of darkness.
The darkness can be good or bad, depending on the scene.
The biggest problem with fear is the compulsion that paralyses you.
If you face the fear, without judgment, like I did when I was 14,
the fear looses it's strength, and you can act normally.
When you TB those scenes full of fear, you face your fear each time
you compare the scenes, and then the fear collapses.
Keep tromming
Leoncio
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