************* The following message is relayed to you by [email protected] ************
Hi J
No problem. Be 3 feet back of your head! Did that work? If not then you are like the rest of us compulsively playing games and finding it difficult to quit. You should start with getting the CCH's from a competent auditor. It will take about 40 yours of auditing to get to the end phenomenon of the processes. Next you need the self discipline to create the time daily to study and audit your mind and thus reduce it bit by bit till the remainder is unimportant enough for you to dump it entirely. The overwhelm you feel now at dealing with your mind is testament to the power of your postulates that created it. You will regain that power for yourself when you release your original postulate to play a game and create a new one of not playing that game. I have to study level 5 and develop real world examples of the games I am playing to recognize when I am compulsively playing a game so I can make the decision to not play it. In boot camp your group might have been given an order to put on a 40 pound pack and hike 40 miles with out stopping. The guy who sneaks a ride to the finish line in a truck does not win or learn anything. The guys who hiked the whole way learned that they could do much more than they thought they could and they were the winners. Dealing with your mind means learning how to take it apart. Taking a short cut to make it go away for a while is a losers solution. Hopefully the command "Be 3 feet back of your head!" worked for you so the remainder of my email was unnecessary but if not you need to understand that you have worked very hard to create the games you are compulsively playing and you will not willingly give them up till you have carefully examined them one by one and determined that they are causing you more trouble than they are worth. Keep on TROMing Pete -----Original Message----- From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]]on Behalf Of me me Sent: Monday, November 29, 2010 9:19 AM To: The Resolution of Mind list Subject: [TROM1] Short Circuit! I have read TROM multiple times and listened to all of Dennis's tapes (which I greatly enjoy, the guy is a genius on some level). I hear the words 'a person wearing a dress' in my sleep sometimes! :) My trouble is that whenever I start, I just can't seem to run anything. Part of the problem is that I have very little free time, and what free time I do have, I seem to spend half comatose recovering from my job. It's quite a trap, good money, but not quite enough, I've been chasing my tail for 13 years..(though it has its high points). What happens whenever I start doing RI or level 2 or whatever, is that I look into my mind, and there is just nothing coherent there. It's like a basement closet, full of discarded rubbish that I just can't bring myself to sort though, don't really care about, and just want to set fire to. So I end up pushing the closet door shut again, turning the TV on, and watching CSI. The point is, I want to short circuit this whole game. I would gladly go through a week of hell to get clear in a week. I had some natural abilities in my early life which I have to some extent been able to reawaken as a result of cognitions while reading the TROM material, Filbert, Lkin and others (and Hubbard of course). I seem to be able to manage zazen for short periods, I have intimate knowledge of my bedroom wall. But I don't have the outflowing compassion needed for buddhism. In fact the whole idea of compassion seems to me to be arbitrary, contrived, an attempt to control people. It's a scam. I feel like I'm close, but do I care about Nirvana? Not really. I want my native abilities back and I want them now. I postulate that I have them, that I am clear and I get some key out for a while, but I can't seem to stop PT crap pouring in. It's 2 steps forward and 1, sometimes 2 steps back. What's so great about present time anyway? If I want to operate in the past, or the future, surely that is my choice. I listened to PON, much as I think Tolle probably had a great experience, he is preachy and limited in outlook, totally obsessed with the GE, not being able to distinguish it from himself. There must be a quick and dirty way to do this. Maybe if I zap my brain with 240 volts:) I want to short circuit this whole 'game'. I am not suited to internal reflection, I am action orientated, ex-military (reserves now). I get no enjoyment out of running procedures on myself, I don't seem to have any interest in my engrams, why I do what I do etc. I know I won't care about my original or primal goals or whatever they are. I have the strong feeling that I've been there and done that, many many times over. Now I just want to do my own thing. Fully self and pan determine my lives from here on in. I guess one of my big goals is exteriorization under full control. Simply because I believe it will help me make the right choices in the Bardo. I don't want to come back a clean slate and have to go through all this crap again! Especially not on this forsaken prison planet! Does anyone know of the mother of all (solo) processes that can be run without a meter? Or some really good exteriorization drills that really work? Sorry for the verbage and rambling! Best Regards, J
_______________________________________________ Trom mailing list [email protected] http://lists.newciv.org/mailman/listinfo/trom
