The opening description at http://ofbiz.apache.org/ violates Apache's
trademark policy is some very minor ways.
"Apache OFBiz (The Apache Open For Business Project) is an open source
enterprise automation software project licensed under the Apache License
Version 2.0. By open source enterprise automation we mean: Open Source
ERP (Enterprise Resource Planning), Open Source CRM (Customer
RelationShip Management), Open Source E-Business / E-Commerce, Open
Source SCM (Supply Chain Management), Open Source MRP (Manufacturing
Resources Planning), Open Source CMMS/EAM (Maintenance Management
System/Enterprise Asset Management), Open Source POS (Point Of Sale),
and so on.
Apache OFBiz is a foundation and starting point for reliable, secure and
scalable enterprise solutions. Use it out-of-the-box (OOTB) or customize
to suit even your most challenging business needs. With OFBiz in place,
you can get started right away and then grow your operations as your
business grows, without the huge deployment and maintenance costs of
traditional enterprise automation systems.
Apache OFBiz is a project of The Apache Software Foundation."
could be modified to be
"Apache OFBiz, the Apache Open For Business package, is an open source
enterprise automation software product that includes ERP (Enterprise
Resource Planning), CRM (Customer Relationship Management), E-Business
/ E-Commerce, SCM (Supply Chain Management), MRP (Manufacturing
Resources Planning), MMS/EAM (Maintenance Management System/Enterprise
Asset Management) and POS (Point Of Sale) functions.
Apache OFBiz provides a foundation and starting point for reliable,
secure and scalable enterprise solutions. Use it out-of-the-box or
customize it to suit even your most challenging business needs. With
OFBiz, you can get started right away without the huge deployment and
maintenance costs of traditional enterprise automation systems. As your
business grows, extend the functionality to meet your more sophisticated
needs
The Apache OFBiz project is part of The Apache Software Foundation."
This meets the need to protect the Apache OFBiz trademark by defining it
as a "package" rather than a "project". Projects can not be trademarked
(according to Apache) so the definition of OfBiz must define it as a
thing - "software", "package" or "system" are possible.
I also changed CMMS to MMS since the full name is "Maintenance
Management System". Not sure if someone wrote CMMS on purpose and forgot
to add the "C-word" to the definition.
I removed the repetition of "Open Source" since it applies to all
features and just makes the sentence very hard to read. I would suggest
putting the features as bullets to increase readability but that is a
question of taste and how that would look on the page.
I removed the "OOTB" since term is not used later on the page and just
interrupts the flow for no benefit.
CRM - Relationship is one word and the "S" should not be capitalized.
I split the second last sentence to make the sentence easier to read. Is
" extend the functionality" an appropriate way to express the idea
implied in the original sentence.
How does this look? Have I screwe up anything?
Are there any other ideas that we should include in the opening
introduction to OFBiz? Typical customers or some guidance about the
target market?
The bullets in the second column repeat some of the functionality
description is this section.
They seem to be selective without a balance between the major
functionality listed in column 1.
Ron
--
Ron Wheeler
President
Artifact Software Inc
email: [email protected]
skype: ronaldmwheeler
phone: 866-970-2435, ext 102
