I used to use that one, but then my whole family started thinking I was a lesbian.
--- In [email protected], "Ellen" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > Sorry, it's been taken--Brad and Angelina have already claimed it. > Don't want to infringe on their territory. You know how touchy those > celebrities can be. > > --- In [email protected], Julie <parkcitycondo@> > wrote: > > > > My response to that question usually* is something along the lines > of "At > > least that's one mistake I haven't made yet!" Quite surprisingly, > many > > people, particularly married ones, tend to nod their heads in > > understanding. > > > > *An ex-boyfriend and I both used to respond to the question by > saying that > > we wouldn't get married until gay people also were free to marry. > Ellen -- > > maybe you should try that one on your mom! > > > > > > On 10/26/06, Ellen <ellengoodman6@> wrote: > > > > > > "why aren't you married (yet)" has got to be THE WORST question > you > > > can possibly ask someone. I can only think of 2 possible answers > to > > > that question--either you don't want to get married or you haven't > > > found the right person. Even if you're in a serious relationship > > > more than 6 months people still ask the same damn question. What > > > business is it of theirs? Maybe I was busy doing other things, or > > > didn't live in the same city for more than 2 years, or was trying > to > > > earn money, who knows and who cares! Sorry, my mom was married 17 > > > years by the time she was my age--she can't relate because she > > > doesn't understand the concept of a woman being 39 and never > married-- > > > it's not in her frame of reference. (a man either for that matter > but > > > to a lesser extent). No matter how good I feel about myself and my > > > self-sufficiency, etc., it's not OK with her that I'm 39 and never > > > married. How could it possibly not bother me very much, since it > > > obviously bothers her a great deal? It's almost like she's > ashamed > > > to talk about me with her friends and relatives. "So how's > > > Ellen"? "Well she lives by herself in Boston. Never got married, > > > you know? We don't really have much to talk about these days." > It's > > > like if she can't sing the praises of her grandchildren, > successful > > > son in law, and daughter's big house, whatever else I'm > accomplishing > > > is irrelevant. The fact that she never had to fend for herself > means > > > she can't relate to what it's like. Sorry, just had to get that > off > > > my chest. Back to funny, as they say. > > > > > > --- In [email protected], "Ray Bradley" > > > <clavenia@> wrote: > > > > > > > > Well, Eleanor, it makes perfect sense - your view and lifestyle > > > > aren't wrong, they're simply different from most of society. Of > > > > course you're going to notice obvious differences. > > > > > > > > Part of human nature and the basis of survival in the wild is to > > > > notice the differences from ordinary patterns - changes in > climate, > > > > available food and water sources, shelters, predators, > unfriendly > > > > tribes, etc... . Anything different from the norm was cause for > > > > concern. > > > > > > > > It's like travel - you notice how Texas highway interchanges are > > > done > > > > differently than Pennsylvanias, or how Florida's traffic lights > are > > > > entirely different than Iowa's. You notice how some grocery > store > > > > chains dominate some regions, but not in your home area > > > (personally, > > > > I'd love a Piggly-Wiggly near here just for the funny name on > the > > > > bags...). Some chains are in the south, others the > midwest...it's > > > > what makes us different. > > > > > > > > The majority of us are straight. The majority of us in America > are > > > > white. There are more women in the world than men...though > China's > > > > working on that. Of course we don't notice typical behavior and > > > > social mores - they're just that - typical behavior! > > > > > > > > Cue the soundbyte from the next-door-neighbor of a serial > killer - > > > > "he was a quiet guy, kept to himself." If the dude was doing > naked > > > > Kabuki dances in the street, somebody would have probably > said "You > > > > know, that dude might not be right in the head" and called the > > > cops. > > > > > > > > Same thing with any minority in any society. Amputees notice how > > > hard > > > > daily commuting can be. The blind find out how hard it is to > watch > > > > TV. Hispanics find out how dauting the English language can be. > > > > Austistic folks struggle with some basic tasks and shine > > > brilliantly > > > > at others that most people take for granted. Little kids can't > > > reach > > > > the top shelf where Mom keeps the cookies and older Elderly > folks > > > > outside of Florida complain about the dearth of dining options > at > > > > 4pm. Hipsters stuck in Nebraska complain about the lack of good > > > > coffee shops, farmers in New York complain about the lack of > > > quality > > > > farm land, yet New York's hipsters have too many coffee shops to > > > > choose from, and Nebraska farms are so fertile that some are > paid > > > NOT > > > > to farm at all. We notice these differences. > > > > > > > > So, I can't see getting upset about an innocent comment about a > 4 > > > > year-old little girl, who statistically speaking will probably > get > > > > married one day...and chances are good that it might even be > more > > > > than once. Heck, when I was 4, everybody figured I'd be a doctor > > > and > > > > married by now. When I was 17, everybody figured I'd be a pro > > > cyclist > > > > in Europe and married by now. When I was 22, everybody figured > I'd > > > be > > > > a big-market morning show disc jockey and divorced by now. I'm > 33, > > > a > > > > telecom contractor and not married. > > > > > > > > Why? > > > > > > > > All the good girls are gay or taken. > > > > > > > > > > > > - Ray > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- In [email protected], Eleanor Keyser > > > > <eleanorkeyser@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > I'm going to second this comment--I almost made a similar > point. > > > > As a gay woman I do feel I notice and understand things > differently > > > > than a straight person. It always stuns me how little most > > > straight > > > > people notice the overwhelming influence of sex, sexuality, and > > > > gender roles in our society. When you don't fit in these > > > categories > > > > you not only notice them everywhere, you make fewer assumptions > > > about > > > > other people (in general). Collectively, these assumptions and > > > > influences form a hetero-normative bias that is deeply felt by > > > those > > > > who don't fit the mold. I'm including not just gays and > lesbians, > > > > but bisexuals, transgender people, gender queer people, > asexuals, > > > and > > > > even people whose sexual lifestyle is considered really "kinky," > > > like > > > > BDSMers and polyamorous people in this group. Some of these > people > > > > never identify as queer, though I suspect most of them feel > > > somewhat > > > > isolated in the same way those who do identify as queer feel > > > > isolated. And yes, even though I live in a > > > > > generally tolerant area and have tons of straight friends, I > do > > > > feel safer and more comfortable in a queer space. Queer people > > > have > > > > their own spaces not just to meet lovers, but to feel at home. > > > There > > > > is also a whole queer culture with its own politics, decorum, > > > slang, > > > > art, and history that I think is far more extensive than > straight > > > > people realize. Not to say that straight people can never > > > understand > > > > these things, but queer people understand them inherently. > > > > > > > > > > denisesudell <dsudell7781@> wrote: --- In > > > > [email protected], "Ellen" > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > gay vs. deaf is apples and oranges--I'm not talking about > > > > acceptance > > > > > > vs. discrimination like is the issue with the gay > community, I'm > > > > > > talking about being able to to fully participate in society. > > > Gay > > > > > > people can fully participate in society, except for getting > > > > married. > > > > > > > > > > Uh . . . no, we can't. Or at least I can't. > > > > > > > > > > Being gay gives me an entirely different perspective on > society. > > > > > Events or activities that straight non-thinking people can > fully > > > > enjoy > > > > > have been known to make me ill. > > > > > > > > > > Take a stray comment somebody may make about a four-year- old > > > girl, > > > > > implying that she'll have a wedding someday. I frequently get > > > > pissed > > > > > off when I hear comments like that. Who's to say that the > girl > > > is > > > > > straight? Or that even if she is, she'll definitely get > > > married? > > > > > > > > > > Just one very small example -- my overall point being, don't > make > > > > > statements about subjects you know nothing about. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Yahoo! Groups Links > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Yahoo! Groups Links > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Yahoo! 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