Quickest route to grandchildren to my parents = me settled with an SO, regardless of gender. Since they weren't seeing progress in my hetero relationships, they thought perhaps I'd be more comfortable in a homo one.
I didn't say it made sense. --- In [email protected], "Ellen" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > they think "going lesbian" is the solution? Why? You don't have to > wait 9 months for the baby, just adopt one that's ready to go? > > --- In [email protected], "dvm8375" > <muellerdana@> wrote: > > > > My parents practically encouraged me to go lesbian at one point. > In > > my case, I think they're just looking for the quickest route to > > grandchildren. > > > > > > > > --- In [email protected], "Hannah Robinson" > > <hjrobinson@> wrote: > > > > > > I think mine would be happier if I were one. Then there'd be a > > reason. > > > > > > On 10/26/06, dvm8375 <muellerdana@> wrote: > > > > > > > > I used to use that one, but then my whole family started > > thinking I > > > > was a lesbian. > > > > > > > > --- In [email protected]<weingartenchatters% > > 40yahoogroups.com>, > > > > "Ellen" > > > > <ellengoodman6@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > Sorry, it's been taken--Brad and Angelina have already claimed > > > > it. > > > > > Don't want to infringe on their territory. You know how touchy > > > > those > > > > > celebrities can be. > > > > > > > > > > --- In [email protected]<weingartenchatters% > > 40yahoogroups.com>, > > > > Julie <parkcitycondo@> > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > My response to that question usually* is something along the > > > > lines > > > > > of "At > > > > > > least that's one mistake I haven't made yet!" Quite > > > > surprisingly, > > > > > many > > > > > > people, particularly married ones, tend to nod their heads > in > > > > > > understanding. > > > > > > > > > > > > *An ex-boyfriend and I both used to respond to the question > > by > > > > > saying that > > > > > > we wouldn't get married until gay people also were free to > > > > marry. > > > > > Ellen -- > > > > > > maybe you should try that one on your mom! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > On 10/26/06, Ellen <ellengoodman6@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "why aren't you married (yet)" has got to be THE WORST > > > > question > > > > > you > > > > > > > can possibly ask someone. I can only think of 2 possible > > > > answers > > > > > to > > > > > > > that question--either you don't want to get married or you > > > > haven't > > > > > > > found the right person. Even if you're in a serious > > > > relationship > > > > > > > more than 6 months people still ask the same damn > question. > > > > What > > > > > > > business is it of theirs? Maybe I was busy doing other > > > > things, or > > > > > > > didn't live in the same city for more than 2 years, or was > > > > trying > > > > > to > > > > > > > earn money, who knows and who cares! Sorry, my mom was > > > > married 17 > > > > > > > years by the time she was my age--she can't relate > because > > she > > > > > > > doesn't understand the concept of a woman being 39 and > > never > > > > > married-- > > > > > > > it's not in her frame of reference. (a man either for that > > > > matter > > > > > but > > > > > > > to a lesser extent). No matter how good I feel about > myself > > > > and my > > > > > > > self-sufficiency, etc., it's not OK with her that I'm 39 > > and > > > > never > > > > > > > married. How could it possibly not bother me very much, > > since > > > > it > > > > > > > obviously bothers her a great deal? It's almost like she's > > > > > ashamed > > > > > > > to talk about me with her friends and relatives. "So how's > > > > > > > Ellen"? "Well she lives by herself in Boston. Never got > > > > married, > > > > > > > you know? We don't really have much to talk about these > > > > days." > > > > > It's > > > > > > > like if she can't sing the praises of her grandchildren, > > > > > successful > > > > > > > son in law, and daughter's big house, whatever else I'm > > > > > accomplishing > > > > > > > is irrelevant. The fact that she never had to fend for > > > > herself > > > > > means > > > > > > > she can't relate to what it's like. Sorry, just had to get > > > > that > > > > > off > > > > > > > my chest. Back to funny, as they say. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- In > > [email protected]<weingartenchatters% > > 40yahoogroups.com>, > > > > "Ray Bradley" > > > > > > > <clavenia@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Well, Eleanor, it makes perfect sense - your view and > > > > lifestyle > > > > > > > > aren't wrong, they're simply different from most of > > society. > > > > Of > > > > > > > > course you're going to notice obvious differences. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Part of human nature and the basis of survival in the > > wild > > > > is to > > > > > > > > notice the differences from ordinary patterns - changes > > in > > > > > climate, > > > > > > > > available food and water sources, shelters, predators, > > > > > unfriendly > > > > > > > > tribes, etc... . Anything different from the norm was > > cause > > > > for > > > > > > > > concern. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > It's like travel - you notice how Texas highway > > interchanges > > > > are > > > > > > > done > > > > > > > > differently than Pennsylvanias, or how Florida's traffic > > > > lights > > > > > are > > > > > > > > entirely different than Iowa's. You notice how some > > grocery > > > > > store > > > > > > > > chains dominate some regions, but not in your home area > > > > > > > (personally, > > > > > > > > I'd love a Piggly-Wiggly near here just for the funny > > name > > > > on > > > > > the > > > > > > > > bags...). Some chains are in the south, others the > > > > > midwest...it's > > > > > > > > what makes us different. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The majority of us are straight. The majority of us in > > > > America > > > > > are > > > > > > > > white. There are more women in the world than > > men...though > > > > > China's > > > > > > > > working on that. Of course we don't notice typical > > behavior > > > > and > > > > > > > > social mores - they're just that - typical behavior! > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Cue the soundbyte from the next-door-neighbor of a > serial > > > > > killer - > > > > > > > > "he was a quiet guy, kept to himself." If the dude was > > > > doing > > > > > naked > > > > > > > > Kabuki dances in the street, somebody would have > probably > > > > > said "You > > > > > > > > know, that dude might not be right in the head" and > > called > > > > the > > > > > > > cops. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Same thing with any minority in any society. Amputees > > notice > > > > how > > > > > > > hard > > > > > > > > daily commuting can be. The blind find out how hard it > > is to > > > > > watch > > > > > > > > TV. Hispanics find out how dauting the English language > > can > > > > be. > > > > > > > > Austistic folks struggle with some basic tasks and shine > > > > > > > brilliantly > > > > > > > > at others that most people take for granted. Little kids > > > > can't > > > > > > > reach > > > > > > > > the top shelf where Mom keeps the cookies and older > > Elderly > > > > > folks > > > > > > > > outside of Florida complain about the dearth of dining > > > > options > > > > > at > > > > > > > > 4pm. Hipsters stuck in Nebraska complain about the lack > > of > > > > good > > > > > > > > coffee shops, farmers in New York complain about the > > lack of > > > > > > > quality > > > > > > > > farm land, yet New York's hipsters have too many coffee > > > > shops to > > > > > > > > choose from, and Nebraska farms are so fertile that > some > > are > > > > > paid > > > > > > > NOT > > > > > > > > to farm at all. We notice these differences. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So, I can't see getting upset about an innocent comment > > > > about a > > > > > 4 > > > > > > > > year-old little girl, who statistically speaking will > > > > probably > > > > > get > > > > > > > > married one day...and chances are good that it might > > even be > > > > > more > > > > > > > > than once. Heck, when I was 4, everybody figured I'd be > a > > > > doctor > > > > > > > and > > > > > > > > married by now. When I was 17, everybody figured I'd be > > a pro > > > > > > > cyclist > > > > > > > > in Europe and married by now. When I was 22, everybody > > > > figured > > > > > I'd > > > > > > > be > > > > > > > > a big-market morning show disc jockey and divorced by > > now. > > > > I'm > > > > > 33, > > > > > > > a > > > > > > > > telecom contractor and not married. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Why? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > All the good girls are gay or taken. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > - Ray > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- In > > [email protected]<weingartenchatters% > > 40yahoogroups.com>, > > > > Eleanor Keyser > > > > > > > > <eleanorkeyser@> wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm going to second this comment--I almost made a > > similar > > > > > point. > > > > > > > > As a gay woman I do feel I notice and understand things > > > > > differently > > > > > > > > than a straight person. It always stuns me how little > > most > > > > > > > straight > > > > > > > > people notice the overwhelming influence of sex, > > sexuality, > > > > and > > > > > > > > gender roles in our society. When you don't fit in these > > > > > > > categories > > > > > > > > you not only notice them everywhere, you make fewer > > > > assumptions > > > > > > > about > > > > > > > > other people (in general). Collectively, these > > assumptions > > > > and > > > > > > > > influences form a hetero-normative bias that is deeply > > felt > > > > by > > > > > > > those > > > > > > > > who don't fit the mold. I'm including not just gays and > > > > > lesbians, > > > > > > > > but bisexuals, transgender people, gender queer people, > > > > > asexuals, > > > > > > > and > > > > > > > > even people whose sexual lifestyle is considered > > > > really "kinky," > > > > > > > like > > > > > > > > BDSMers and polyamorous people in this group. Some of > > these > > > > > people > > > > > > > > never identify as queer, though I suspect most of them > > feel > > > > > > > somewhat > > > > > > > > isolated in the same way those who do identify as queer > > feel > > > > > > > > isolated. And yes, even though I live in a > > > > > > > > > generally tolerant area and have tons of straight > > > > friends, I > > > > > do > > > > > > > > feel safer and more comfortable in a queer space. Queer > > > > people > > > > > > > have > > > > > > > > their own spaces not just to meet lovers, but to feel at > > > > home. > > > > > > > There > > > > > > > > is also a whole queer culture with its own politics, > > decorum, > > > > > > > slang, > > > > > > > > art, and history that I think is far more extensive than > > > > > straight > > > > > > > > people realize. Not to say that straight people can > never > > > > > > > understand > > > > > > > > these things, but queer people understand them > > inherently. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > denisesudell <dsudell7781@> wrote: --- In > > > > > > > > [email protected]<weingartenchatters% > > 40yahoogroups.com>, > > > > "Ellen" > > > > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > gay vs. deaf is apples and oranges--I'm not talking > > about > > > > > > > > acceptance > > > > > > > > > > vs. discrimination like is the issue with the gay > > > > > community, I'm > > > > > > > > > > talking about being able to to fully participate in > > > > society. > > > > > > > Gay > > > > > > > > > > people can fully participate in society, except for > > > > getting > > > > > > > > married. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Uh . . . no, we can't. Or at least I can't. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Being gay gives me an entirely different perspective > on > > > > > society. > > > > > > > > > Events or activities that straight non-thinking > people > > can > > > > > fully > > > > > > > > enjoy > > > > > > > > > have been known to make me ill. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Take a stray comment somebody may make about a four- > > year- > > > > old > > > > > > > girl, > > > > > > > > > implying that she'll have a wedding someday. I > > frequently > > > > get > > > > > > > > pissed > > > > > > > > > off when I hear comments like that. Who's to say that > > the > > > > > girl > > > > > > > is > > > > > > > > > straight? Or that even if she is, she'll definitely > get > > > > > > > married? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Just one very small example -- my overall point being, > > > > don't > > > > > make > > > > > > > > > statements about subjects you know nothing about. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Yahoo! Groups Links > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Yahoo! Groups Links > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/weingartenchatters/ <*> Your email settings: Individual Email | Traditional <*> To change settings online go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/weingartenchatters/join (Yahoo! 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