Re: [wc] Re: Gallaudet

[Hannah Robinson]

I think mine would be happier if I were one.  Then there'd be a reason.

On 10/26/06, dvm8375 <[EMAIL PROTECTED] > wrote:

I used to use that one, but then my whole family started thinking I
was a lesbian.

--- In weingartenchatters@yahoogroups.com, "Ellen"

<[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> Sorry, it's been taken--Brad and Angelina have already claimed
it.
> Don't want to infringe on their territory. You know how touchy
those
> celebrities can be.
>
> --- In weingartenchatters@yahoogroups.com, Julie <parkcitycondo@>
> wrote:
> >
> > My response to that question usually* is something along the
lines
> of "At
> > least that's one mistake I haven't made yet!" Quite
surprisingly,
> many
> > people, particularly married ones, tend to nod their heads in
> > understanding.
> >
> > *An ex-boyfriend and I both used to respond to the question by
> saying that
> > we wouldn't get married until gay people also were free to
marry.
> Ellen --
> > maybe you should try that one on your mom!
> >
> >
> > On 10/26/06, Ellen <ellengoodman6@> wrote:
> > >
> > > "why aren't you married (yet)" has got to be THE WORST
question
> you
> > > can possibly ask someone. I can only think of 2 possible
answers
> to
> > > that question--either you don't want to get married or you
haven't
> > > found the right person. Even if you're in a serious
relationship
> > > more than 6 months people still ask the same damn question.
What
> > > business is it of theirs? Maybe I was busy doing other
things, or
> > > didn't live in the same city for more than 2 years, or was
trying
> to
> > > earn money, who knows and who cares! Sorry, my mom was
married 17
> > > years by the time she was my age--she can't relate because she
> > > doesn't understand the concept of a woman being 39 and never
> married--
> > > it's not in her frame of reference. (a man either for that
matter
> but
> > > to a lesser extent). No matter how good I feel about myself
and my
> > > self-sufficiency, etc., it's not OK with her that I'm 39 and
never
> > > married. How could it possibly not bother me very much, since
it
> > > obviously bothers her a great deal? It's almost like she's
> ashamed
> > > to talk about me with her friends and relatives. "So how's
> > > Ellen"? "Well she lives by herself in Boston. Never got
married,
> > > you know? We don't really have much to talk about these
days."
> It's
> > > like if she can't sing the praises of her grandchildren,
> successful
> > > son in law, and daughter's big house, whatever else I'm
> accomplishing
> > > is irrelevant. The fact that she never had to fend for
herself
> means
> > > she can't relate to what it's like. Sorry, just had to get
that
> off
> > > my chest. Back to funny, as they say.
> > >
> > > --- In weingartenchatters@yahoogroups.com, "Ray Bradley"
> > > <clavenia@> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > Well, Eleanor, it makes perfect sense - your view and
lifestyle
> > > > aren't wrong, they're simply different from most of society.
Of
> > > > course you're going to notice obvious differences.
> > > >
> > > > Part of human nature and the basis of survival in the wild
is to
> > > > notice the differences from ordinary patterns - changes in
> climate,
> > > > available food and water sources, shelters, predators,
> unfriendly
> > > > tribes, etc... . Anything different from the norm was cause
for
> > > > concern.
> > > >
> > > > It's like travel - you notice how Texas highway interchanges
are
> > > done
> > > > differently than Pennsylvanias, or how Florida's traffic
lights
> are
> > > > entirely different than Iowa's. You notice how some grocery
> store
> > > > chains dominate some regions, but not in your home area
> > > (personally,
> > > > I'd love a Piggly-Wiggly near here just for the funny name
on
> the
> > > > bags...). Some chains are in the south, others the
> midwest...it's
> > > > what makes us different.
> > > >
> > > > The majority of us are straight. The majority of us in
America
> are
> > > > white. There are more women in the world than men...though
> China's
> > > > working on that. Of course we don't notice typical behavior
and
> > > > social mores - they're just that - typical behavior!
> > > >
> > > > Cue the soundbyte from the next-door-neighbor of a serial
> killer -
> > > > "he was a quiet guy, kept to himself." If the dude was
doing
> naked
> > > > Kabuki dances in the street, somebody would have probably
> said "You
> > > > know, that dude might not be right in the head" and called
the
> > > cops.
> > > >
> > > > Same thing with any minority in any society. Amputees notice
how
> > > hard
> > > > daily commuting can be. The blind find out how hard it is to
> watch
> > > > TV. Hispanics find out how dauting the English language can
be.
> > > > Austistic folks struggle with some basic tasks and shine
> > > brilliantly
> > > > at others that most people take for granted. Little kids
can't
> > > reach
> > > > the top shelf where Mom keeps the cookies and older Elderly
> folks
> > > > outside of Florida complain about the dearth of dining
options
> at
> > > > 4pm. Hipsters stuck in Nebraska complain about the lack of
good
> > > > coffee shops, farmers in New York complain about the lack of
> > > quality
> > > > farm land, yet New York's hipsters have too many coffee
shops to
> > > > choose from, and Nebraska farms are so fertile that some are
> paid
> > > NOT
> > > > to farm at all. We notice these differences.
> > > >
> > > > So, I can't see getting upset about an innocent comment
about a
> 4
> > > > year-old little girl, who statistically speaking will
probably
> get
> > > > married one day...and chances are good that it might even be
> more
> > > > than once. Heck, when I was 4, everybody figured I'd be a
doctor
> > > and
> > > > married by now. When I was 17, everybody figured I'd be a pro
> > > cyclist
> > > > in Europe and married by now. When I was 22, everybody
figured
> I'd
> > > be
> > > > a big-market morning show disc jockey and divorced by now.
I'm
> 33,
> > > a
> > > > telecom contractor and not married.
> > > >
> > > > Why?
> > > >
> > > > All the good girls are gay or taken.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > - Ray
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > --- In weingartenchatters@yahoogroups.com, Eleanor Keyser
> > > > <eleanorkeyser@> wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > I'm going to second this comment--I almost made a similar
> point.
> > > > As a gay woman I do feel I notice and understand things
> differently
> > > > than a straight person. It always stuns me how little most
> > > straight
> > > > people notice the overwhelming influence of sex, sexuality,
and
> > > > gender roles in our society. When you don't fit in these
> > > categories
> > > > you not only notice them everywhere, you make fewer
assumptions
> > > about
> > > > other people (in general). Collectively, these assumptions
and
> > > > influences form a hetero-normative bias that is deeply felt
by
> > > those
> > > > who don't fit the mold. I'm including not just gays and
> lesbians,
> > > > but bisexuals, transgender people, gender queer people,
> asexuals,
> > > and
> > > > even people whose sexual lifestyle is considered
really "kinky,"
> > > like
> > > > BDSMers and polyamorous people in this group. Some of these
> people
> > > > never identify as queer, though I suspect most of them feel
> > > somewhat
> > > > isolated in the same way those who do identify as queer feel
> > > > isolated. And yes, even though I live in a
> > > > > generally tolerant area and have tons of straight
friends, I
> do
> > > > feel safer and more comfortable in a queer space. Queer
people
> > > have
> > > > their own spaces not just to meet lovers, but to feel at
home.
> > > There
> > > > is also a whole queer culture with its own politics, decorum,
> > > slang,
> > > > art, and history that I think is far more extensive than
> straight
> > > > people realize. Not to say that straight people can never
> > > understand
> > > > these things, but queer people understand them inherently.
> > > > >
> > > > > denisesudell <dsudell7781@> wrote: --- In
> > > > weingartenchatters@yahoogroups.com, "Ellen"
> > > > > wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > gay vs. deaf is apples and oranges--I'm not talking about
> > > > acceptance
> > > > > > vs. discrimination like is the issue with the gay
> community, I'm
> > > > > > talking about being able to to fully participate in
society.
> > > Gay
> > > > > > people can fully participate in society, except for
getting
> > > > married.
> > > > >
> > > > > Uh . . . no, we can't. Or at least I can't.
> > > > >
> > > > > Being gay gives me an entirely different perspective on
> society.
> > > > > Events or activities that straight non-thinking people can
> fully
> > > > enjoy
> > > > > have been known to make me ill.
> > > > >
> > > > > Take a stray comment somebody may make about a four-year-
old
> > > girl,
> > > > > implying that she'll have a wedding someday. I frequently
get
> > > > pissed
> > > > > off when I hear comments like that. Who's to say that the
> girl
> > > is
> > > > > straight? Or that even if she is, she'll definitely get
> > > married?
> > > > >
> > > > > Just one very small example -- my overall point being,
don't
> make
> > > > > statements about subjects you know nothing about.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Yahoo! Groups Links
> > > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Yahoo! Groups Links
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
>

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