Sorry, it's been taken--Brad and Angelina have already claimed it. Don't want to infringe on their territory. You know how touchy those celebrities can be.
--- In [email protected], Julie <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > My response to that question usually* is something along the lines of "At > least that's one mistake I haven't made yet!" Quite surprisingly, many > people, particularly married ones, tend to nod their heads in > understanding. > > *An ex-boyfriend and I both used to respond to the question by saying that > we wouldn't get married until gay people also were free to marry. Ellen -- > maybe you should try that one on your mom! > > > On 10/26/06, Ellen <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > > "why aren't you married (yet)" has got to be THE WORST question you > > can possibly ask someone. I can only think of 2 possible answers to > > that question--either you don't want to get married or you haven't > > found the right person. Even if you're in a serious relationship > > more than 6 months people still ask the same damn question. What > > business is it of theirs? Maybe I was busy doing other things, or > > didn't live in the same city for more than 2 years, or was trying to > > earn money, who knows and who cares! Sorry, my mom was married 17 > > years by the time she was my age--she can't relate because she > > doesn't understand the concept of a woman being 39 and never married-- > > it's not in her frame of reference. (a man either for that matter but > > to a lesser extent). No matter how good I feel about myself and my > > self-sufficiency, etc., it's not OK with her that I'm 39 and never > > married. How could it possibly not bother me very much, since it > > obviously bothers her a great deal? It's almost like she's ashamed > > to talk about me with her friends and relatives. "So how's > > Ellen"? "Well she lives by herself in Boston. Never got married, > > you know? We don't really have much to talk about these days." It's > > like if she can't sing the praises of her grandchildren, successful > > son in law, and daughter's big house, whatever else I'm accomplishing > > is irrelevant. The fact that she never had to fend for herself means > > she can't relate to what it's like. Sorry, just had to get that off > > my chest. Back to funny, as they say. > > > > --- In [email protected], "Ray Bradley" > > <clavenia@> wrote: > > > > > > Well, Eleanor, it makes perfect sense - your view and lifestyle > > > aren't wrong, they're simply different from most of society. Of > > > course you're going to notice obvious differences. > > > > > > Part of human nature and the basis of survival in the wild is to > > > notice the differences from ordinary patterns - changes in climate, > > > available food and water sources, shelters, predators, unfriendly > > > tribes, etc... . Anything different from the norm was cause for > > > concern. > > > > > > It's like travel - you notice how Texas highway interchanges are > > done > > > differently than Pennsylvanias, or how Florida's traffic lights are > > > entirely different than Iowa's. You notice how some grocery store > > > chains dominate some regions, but not in your home area > > (personally, > > > I'd love a Piggly-Wiggly near here just for the funny name on the > > > bags...). Some chains are in the south, others the midwest...it's > > > what makes us different. > > > > > > The majority of us are straight. The majority of us in America are > > > white. There are more women in the world than men...though China's > > > working on that. Of course we don't notice typical behavior and > > > social mores - they're just that - typical behavior! > > > > > > Cue the soundbyte from the next-door-neighbor of a serial killer - > > > "he was a quiet guy, kept to himself." If the dude was doing naked > > > Kabuki dances in the street, somebody would have probably said "You > > > know, that dude might not be right in the head" and called the > > cops. > > > > > > Same thing with any minority in any society. Amputees notice how > > hard > > > daily commuting can be. The blind find out how hard it is to watch > > > TV. Hispanics find out how dauting the English language can be. > > > Austistic folks struggle with some basic tasks and shine > > brilliantly > > > at others that most people take for granted. Little kids can't > > reach > > > the top shelf where Mom keeps the cookies and older Elderly folks > > > outside of Florida complain about the dearth of dining options at > > > 4pm. Hipsters stuck in Nebraska complain about the lack of good > > > coffee shops, farmers in New York complain about the lack of > > quality > > > farm land, yet New York's hipsters have too many coffee shops to > > > choose from, and Nebraska farms are so fertile that some are paid > > NOT > > > to farm at all. We notice these differences. > > > > > > So, I can't see getting upset about an innocent comment about a 4 > > > year-old little girl, who statistically speaking will probably get > > > married one day...and chances are good that it might even be more > > > than once. Heck, when I was 4, everybody figured I'd be a doctor > > and > > > married by now. When I was 17, everybody figured I'd be a pro > > cyclist > > > in Europe and married by now. When I was 22, everybody figured I'd > > be > > > a big-market morning show disc jockey and divorced by now. I'm 33, > > a > > > telecom contractor and not married. > > > > > > Why? > > > > > > All the good girls are gay or taken. > > > > > > > > > - Ray > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- In [email protected], Eleanor Keyser > > > <eleanorkeyser@> wrote: > > > > > > > > I'm going to second this comment--I almost made a similar point. > > > As a gay woman I do feel I notice and understand things differently > > > than a straight person. It always stuns me how little most > > straight > > > people notice the overwhelming influence of sex, sexuality, and > > > gender roles in our society. When you don't fit in these > > categories > > > you not only notice them everywhere, you make fewer assumptions > > about > > > other people (in general). Collectively, these assumptions and > > > influences form a hetero-normative bias that is deeply felt by > > those > > > who don't fit the mold. I'm including not just gays and lesbians, > > > but bisexuals, transgender people, gender queer people, asexuals, > > and > > > even people whose sexual lifestyle is considered really "kinky," > > like > > > BDSMers and polyamorous people in this group. Some of these people > > > never identify as queer, though I suspect most of them feel > > somewhat > > > isolated in the same way those who do identify as queer feel > > > isolated. And yes, even though I live in a > > > > generally tolerant area and have tons of straight friends, I do > > > feel safer and more comfortable in a queer space. Queer people > > have > > > their own spaces not just to meet lovers, but to feel at home. > > There > > > is also a whole queer culture with its own politics, decorum, > > slang, > > > art, and history that I think is far more extensive than straight > > > people realize. Not to say that straight people can never > > understand > > > these things, but queer people understand them inherently. > > > > > > > > denisesudell <dsudell7781@> wrote: --- In > > > [email protected], "Ellen" > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > gay vs. deaf is apples and oranges--I'm not talking about > > > acceptance > > > > > vs. discrimination like is the issue with the gay community, I'm > > > > > talking about being able to to fully participate in society. > > Gay > > > > > people can fully participate in society, except for getting > > > married. > > > > > > > > Uh . . . no, we can't. Or at least I can't. > > > > > > > > Being gay gives me an entirely different perspective on society. > > > > Events or activities that straight non-thinking people can fully > > > enjoy > > > > have been known to make me ill. > > > > > > > > Take a stray comment somebody may make about a four-year-old > > girl, > > > > implying that she'll have a wedding someday. I frequently get > > > pissed > > > > off when I hear comments like that. Who's to say that the girl > > is > > > > straight? Or that even if she is, she'll definitely get > > married? > > > > > > > > Just one very small example -- my overall point being, don't make > > > > statements about subjects you know nothing about. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Yahoo! Groups Links > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Yahoo! Groups Links > > > > > > > > > > > Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/weingartenchatters/ <*> Your email settings: Individual Email | Traditional <*> To change settings online go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/weingartenchatters/join (Yahoo! ID required) <*> To change settings via email: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
