Yep.  I've tried reading it over and over, with and without coffee, and 
alcohol, and it still seems to be essentially ridiculous.  Time for the ZFT to 
stop smoking their diplomas and get back to Earth.  I'm left feeling more than 
a bit disappointed with this BS. I'll still be loyally opening my wallet for 
new releases as they come out but this "project" is underwhelming.   My two 
cents worth.
- Kevin  

 From: Cris Haldenby <>
To: Zappa List List <> 
Sent: Friday, November 30, 2012 8:21 AM
Subject: [Zappa-List] Fwd: THE ZAPPA PROJECT/OBJECT of your DREAMS!

Did anyone else get this email from Zappa Records this week?


Dear People of Earth who are interested in anything & everything concerning The 
Roxy Performances,  So you’ve always dreamt of being a music mogul and running 
your own record company, huh?  But you ask yourself, “How could I get a Real 
Record Deal?” “I mean,” you say to yourself, “I think I could do this as well 
as anyone – I have important opinions to share.”  Well here’s your chance to be 
part of Zappa Music Business History and become an AUTHORIZED DISTRIBUTOR of a 
Real (REAL!) Live (LIVE!) Zappa Record.  One more time for the world:  Recorded 
by Zappa, Performed by Zappa, featuring some of your favorite Mothers, and 
Material, AND all under the Roof you’ve been waiting for:  The Roxy!  No 
ELSEWHERES about it. What???  It’s True.  We here at Zappa Records are looking 
for a few good men and women – approximately 1,000 highly motivated, sensitive 
and discerning individuals – to sign up as Official Independent Distributors
 of a never-heretofore-released, thoroughly Authentic Zappa Master Recording.  
And this is not just any thoroughly authentic Zappa Master Recording either.  
No, this is the one many of you have been beyond craving.  Please sit down to 
read this part:  This is the Roxy – the Soundtrack – yes, it is the 
introductory Soundtrack, the Prequel if you will – the Project/Object of your 
Dreams.  76 unadulterated minutes of fabulous frenzy await you.  And the 
opportunity of a life–time: Roxy By Proxy! Should it be determined that you 
become an Officially Licensed Authorized Zappa RBP Distributor, you can make as 
many copies of the record as you can possibly distribute – AND exce
pt for reporting to us your sales & customers (just like any other record 
distributor) and paying us the publishing, YOU keep the money. AND you get to 
collect royalties from what is sold at Barfko-Swill AND you will also be 
entitled to a special wholesale price available to the OLAZRBPDs (Officially 
Licensed Authorized Zappa ROXY BY PROXY Distributor) exclusively. Apart from 
being Official Release #96 this is a Music Biz First.  How is that you might 
well ask:  We figured you might like to participate in the wonderment so we 
have devised a way to let you in behind the scenes of every Artist’s necessity 
- a music distribution deal – but in this case we’ve cut to the chase.  We need 
to get the record to you so why  shouldn’t you be part of the process?  You can 
help us help you by helping you help us. So here’s the deal: 
for all the information and the ACTUAL LICENSE. Thanks in advance for your 
Consideration. xxx, gz "Music
 is the Best!" ~FZ

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