Strange I didn't get this email. The Barfies are pretty good at keeping me 
up-to-date;. Hmm. Could they have known in advance how lazy (& thus unlikely to 
go along with this one shot deal) I am? :P




See my profile at or or


-----Original Message-----
From: Cris Haldenby <>
To: Zappa List List <>
Sent: Fri, Nov 30, 2012 10:22 am
Subject: [Zappa-List] Fwd: THE ZAPPA PROJECT/OBJECT of your DREAMS!


Did anyone else get this email from Zappa Records this week?


 Dear People of Earth who are interested in anything & everything concerning 
The Roxy Performances, 

  So you’ve always dreamt of being a music mogul and running your own record 
company, huh?  But you ask yourself, “How could I get a Real Record Deal?” “I 
mean,” you say to yourself, “I think I could do this as well as anyone – I have 
important opinions to share.”  Well here’s your chance to be part of Zappa 
Music Business History and become an AUTHORIZED DISTRIBUTOR of a Real (REAL!) 
Live (LIVE!) Zappa Record.  One more time for the world:  Recorded by Zappa, 
Performed by Zappa, featuring some of your favorite Mothers, and Material, AND 
all under the Roof you’ve been waiting for:  The Roxy!  No ELSEWHERES about it.

  What???  It’s True.  We here at Zappa Records are looking for a few good men 
and women – approximately 1,000 highly motivated, sensitive and discerning 
individuals – to sign up as Official Independent Distributors of a 
never-heretofore-released, thoroughly Authentic Zappa Master Recording.  And 
this is not just any thoroughly authentic Zappa Master Recording either.  No, 
this is the one many of you have been beyond craving.  Please sit down to read 
this part:  This is the Roxy – the Soundtrack – yes, it is the introductory 
Soundtrack, the Prequel if you will – the Project/Object of your Dreams.  76 
unadulterated minutes of fabulous frenzy await you.  And the opportunity of a 
life–time: Roxy By Proxy! Should it be determined that you become an Officially 
Licensed Authorized Zappa RBP Distributor, you can make as many copies of the 
record as you can possibly distribute – AND except for reporting to us your 
sales & customers (just like any other record distributor) and paying us the 
publishing, YOU keep the money. AND you get to collect royalties from what is 
sold at Barfko-Swill AND you will also be entitled to a special wholesale price 
available to the OLAZRBPDs (Officially Licensed Authorized Zappa ROXY BY PROXY 
Distributor) exclusively.

  Apart from being Official Release #96 this is a Music Biz First.  How is that 
you might well ask:  We figured you might like to participate in the wonderment 
so we have devised a way to let you in behind the scenes of every Artist’s 
necessity - a music distribution deal – but in this case we’ve cut to the 
chase.  We need to get the record to you so why  shouldn’t you be part of the 
process?  You can help us help you by helping you help us.

  So here’s the deal: for all the information and the ACTUAL 

  Thanks in advance for your Consideration.



"Music is the Best!" ~FZ




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