Good question Lana. It would be great to have more discussion in this forum 
about the nitty gritty of dealing with people in the world.


--- On Wed, 11/24/10, Lana M. Gibbons <> wrote:

From: Lana M. Gibbons <>
Subject: [Zen] New Member
Date: Wednesday, November 24, 2010, 8:56 PM



I apparently have been practicing a number of principles of Zen for quite some 
time, albeit completely unintentionally.  A lot of what I am reading now are 
things I have realized through experience without external guidance: It is very 
refreshing to see there are teachings for this that I have stumbled on.

One thing I am having a lot of trouble with recently is interaction with others 
who simply don't understand - people so stuck in their dualities that they 
can't begin to comprehend I just don't have them, people who are so immersed in 
the material world that they can't conceive that I am happy without many 
possessions, people so focused on having external influences complete them that 
they seem to be cut off from simply being.  This issue has been so pervasive 
recently that I have went from existing with a peaceful thought-free mind 
(no-mind?) to one that has been sad on occasion.  I have never needed 
meditation to achieve that state, but I am starting it to see if it helps.

It seems the issues most frequently presented are that people who feel I 
am important to them seem to keep insisting on doing things for me, then being 
frustrated that I am not ecstatic for their gestures (nor am I upset, those 
gestures simply are what they are - transient, typically materialistic things 
that are nice, but not necessary to my wellbeing).  They expect to be thanked 
as if I had needed their action like food or water.  They seem to expect me to 
sustain them in a similar fashion.  And thus they make their own misery over it 
when I simply am who I am.  I've tried explaining, but they are not ready to 

I have been called "cold" or "unsympathetic".  It seems people expect me to 
make assumptions on the intention (or nonintention) behind their actions.  Yet 
they do them and by doing them they are those actions, yet they take no 
responsibility for them.  Even more they seem to expect everyone, including 
nature itself to excuse their actions, nullify any effect or consequences those 
actions may have had.  To me it is what it is - yet this makes them miserable, 
as if I am expected to wipe away their remorse by reassuring them they were at 
the mercy of some power other than their own.

So I ask: How do you interact with the people in this world?






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