mike.... thank you..i know you mean well... you have posts come through as 
kind and caring.... always... 

i know myself pretty well..and i know why i jump 3 feet when the phone rings... 

for past 10 years it has been a call for help from family members especially my 
son and i need to be strong however i am not always strong and fall in a heap 
too... 
thank you for assisting me on my path..

there is no way i can get to a teacher.i live 70ks from sydney...

so i am going to have to rely on the internet to refresh my zen... 
i realise now i have a great deal to learn..
after all i only touch on zen in my early 20's..and then flipped my way through 
another bunch of "religions"..
i do have a very dear friend john of 30 years
 



living in brisbane for last 12 years 
who i can discuss anything under the sun in regards to metaphysics etc.... 


i have asked him to join zen however at the moment he is snowed under with work 
related issues..we will see...
putting it mildly he'd "put a fire under your bonnet"... as he is extremely 
articulate..
not like me...who muddles along ..my best form of expression is my art...
 he is also a scientist and computer programmer and has some degree in drama 
from london
of course he's not "perfect"..however he can give you a "good run for your 
money" so to speak..with a very wacky zany sense of humour ...
 
 thank you for pointing out when meditation is  needed..

i am thinking of doing 2 minute meditations standing..when i get overwhelmed or 
stressed..pull myself up so to speak....
i tried this morning and it works for me...
clears my racing mind and quiets me down..
so mike i do appreciate your help and i am grateful... 
enjoy your weekend...
still in adelaide?..
merle..... when i was in china 2006 in a remote part of the great wall..near 
mongolia... i had an episode where i stopped dead in my tracks...could not move 
started crying and felt like i was having a "spiritual experience"..i felt so 
overwhelmed with an incredible feeling of sadness, felt like i was dying....yes 
one can pin it down to the air...
  

Merle,

Please don't think I was being flippant by my comment about envying you. I'm 
sure it's no small thing for you. What I mean is that it gives you the 
opportunity to really discover a part of you and what makes you tick. It can be 
a real voyage of discovery with the reward of transcending a particularly 
destructive negative emotion.

It can be transcending because by the method of noting what's happening to your 
body-mind you can come to understand the processes of what makes your fear 
arise and pass. 

Remember, meditation shouldn't only be undertaken in one particular frame of 
mind. We need to sit when tired, awake, happy, sad, bored, excited, 
comfortable, fearful etc. We need to face the whole gamut of human emotions, 
warts and all, if we're to really come to know ourselves. Again, this is a 
perfect example of where a relationship with a teacher
 would be optimum. We're here for you in the meantime.

Mike

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