Thanks for a really eloquent Zen post, Theresa. I sense deep waters... I really appreciate you "keeping it real" and being open about where you are at ... For me, it is the bodhisattva pulling me back into the present and holding a mirror up to where I am REALLY standing ... and not where my mind wants others to think I'm standing :-).
Like you, I also struggle hugely with the mind. If "reality" is a deep, long, flowing river, my mind is like a person cupping his hands, dipping it into the river, running off a bit away from the river and trying to discern the depth, length and nature of the river by what is left in my cupped hands. I am really good at doing that ... At such times, I find myself quite preoccupied with myself, quite self-centered and very selfish... I do have occasional moments of the "river", though ... For example, it is Fall in Wisconsin right now. Every once in a while, a turned leaf may fall a certain way, a group of birds flying south may move across the sky in a certain way, my eye may catch just a certain way the morning frost on the road ... and I quite unexpectedly find myself blessed with a "glimpse" not of a cupped wet hand but what seems to be the "river". At such fleeting times, I am less aware of myself than I am of this profound love and compassion for all sentient and insentient things in this transitory world. It is those moments that I label "Zen". Whether or not they really are Zen moments I don't know but they very much keep me "on the Journey". I would like to think that the Zen journey is not about (selfish) "navel gazing" . I would like to think that the Zen journey is not an attempt to "find peace" so that one no longer experiences saddness, loneliness, existential terror and despair. Instead, I would like to think that the Zen journey is about alleviating suffering in the world with unconditional compassion ... and it order to do this, the consciousness that revolves around an "I" must be transformed... In the meantime, call me on it if my posts are essentially " lint from my navel" :-) Your dream story (and thanks for blessing us with the share) immediately reminded me of that butterfly dream in the Ch'uang-tzu ( a Taoist book) which found its way into Zen: "Once Chuang Chou dreamt he was a butterfly, a butterfly flitting and fluttering around, happy with himself and doing as he pleased. The butterfly didn't know it was Chuang Chou. Suddenly he work up and there he was: Chuang Chou. But he didn't know if he was Chuang Chou who had dreamt he was a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming it was Chuang Chou. All he or it knew was that at the present "he" felt lonely, scared and sad..." If you awaken before I do, Sister, give me a couple of good shakes :-) Metta, ryhorikawa ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> Click here to rescue a little child from a life of poverty. http://us.click.yahoo.com/rAWabB/gYnLAA/i1hLAA/S27xlB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> Current Book Discussion: Appreciate Your Life by Taizan Maezumi Roshi Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ZenForum/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
