< I think because first and foremost I am a painter,
an image-maker>
No wonder! Because I have always been struck by the
imagery in your poems.
There was this other poem that you had posted some
time back on this list. Pardon my amnesia, but the
lines escape me. However, if I am not mistaken, that
had the image of mountains as folds on a cloth, there
was also mention of the word âsutureâ... i
think...
I quite liked that element of cloth folds becoming
mountains...massive tectonic process playing
themselves out on a microscale, on a domestic
bedspread perhaps...
Could you please point that poem for me? Hope I am not
hallucinating :-)
--- jane bhandari <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> The image is always very clear in my mind, I think
> because first and foremost I am a painter, an
> image-maker. As a result most of my poems deal with
> the visual image rather than the idea, and often
> enough with just one moment in time. The process of
> revision is not so much evolution as the cutting
> away of excessive verbiage, until I have exposed as
> much of the image as I want. Most of my poems start
> out longer and end up cropped.
>
> The lines you liked were suggested by the image of
> the corpse-like leaves, which in turn came from the
> sound of the mourners' feet in the previous stanza.
> A corpse needs a shroud... Interesting that you
> should think of Mondrian's Grey Tree. It was at the
> back of my mind while I made the revisions. I had
> been to the Tate the previous week to see an
> exhibition of modern painters, and while that
> particular painting was not on display some of his
> others were, including the more sober ones.
>
> I am considering a haiku on the last 3 lines simply
> because that tense image of the sharpened branches
> lends itself to the terseness of the form. This is
> one of the pleasures of writing...taking a portion
> of your work and reshaping it, not as a clone, but
> an offshoot. The result is sometimes far better than
> the original.
>
> Thanks!
>
> jane
>
>
> After the first gales, leaves lie across the grass
> Like corpses, whispering death in ghostly voices,
> And the wind keens through the empty branches,
> Sharpening their edges against the bitter sky,
> Cutting it into a grey shroud for dead summer.
>
>
> What do you do, that you know about Mondrian?
>
> Abhishek Hazra <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> tears.>
> :-)
> no, no not at all, Jane! When brother and sister
> sing
> that song together in a dim-lit room in Ghatak's
> "Cloud Capped Star" (Meghe Dhaka Tara) can one
> resist
> the tears?
>
> Just curious, Jane. In your writing process, how
> does
> the imagery evolve over versions/revisions?
> I really liked the image of the sharpened branch.
> For
> me, those last three lines were really visually
> evocative, particularly the action of the branches
> âcutting up the skyâ.
> I was kind of reminded of Mondrianâs âGrey
> Treeâ...Particularly the manner in which the mass
> of
> broken lines carve up the picture plane in multiple
> ways producing arrays of form-counter pairs.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
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