I always keep my original version, once it has reached a form that pleases me. But I did think the second stanza could evolve some more. It already has the haiku feel, and I am so tempted to squash it into that form. N, squash is not the right word, mould might be better, pare, perhaps. in fact that is the process....to whittle away until there is just enough left to suggest the meaning.
Thanks Farah. it is pleasant to know one's work is appreciated.
jane
Farah Imran <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Farah Imran <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Thankyou Jane,
Indeed I did not intend irony...the poem on its own is sad no doubt, but with the context, it is very very sad...Please don't cut or change this poem, I think it is perfect as it is...Farah.
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