No, it's Saturn that's in the telestial kingdom; its rings are composed of all
tthe lost singlesods d

Stephen Beecroft wrote:

> Interesting post on AML Tuesday, which you can read in the AML archives
> at
> I know that Steven and a couple others are John Pratt fans. I find his
> writings to be extreme left-field stuff (except for his puzzles, which
> are pretty cool, and remind me of Microsoft interview questions --
> interviewing at Microsoft can actually be a lot of fun). His musings
> remind me of the "Jupiter-is-the-terrestrial-kingdom" doctrine I heard
> being whispered about in my mission. Now, I don't know Eric Samuelsen or
> what his religious/social views are, but we apparently share a viewpoint
> on John Pratt. The difference is that his viewpoint is based on direct
> experience with a Pratt seance^h^h^h^h^h^h meeting, rather than just
> looking through his web site, which is how I formed my opinions. Anyway,
> in case anyone cares.
> Stephen
> Date: Tue, 24 Sep 2002 09:57:21 -0600
> From: "Eric R. Samuelsen" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> Subject: [AML] Feeding Your Inner Gnostic
> I know when the world will end.  I know the date of the day of judgment,
> the specific moment in which the seventh seal will be opened, leading to
> the Second Coming, the binding of Satan, and the Millennium.  In fact,
> it happened already.  Sept 22, 2002 is the day of days, the beginning of
> the end.  The Enoch Calender makes it clear.  I know this, because I was
> there, one of the 144 lucky souls who heard, and saw, and partook of the
> sublime ritual of the Feast of Trumpets.
> At least, I think so.  It's all very confusing.
> Okay, what I'm about to tell you about really happened.  I may not have
> understood it all; in fact, I'm pretty sure I missed a lot.  But I
> swear, I'm not making anything up.  This post is part theatre review,
> though what I saw isn't theatre, and it's part book review, though I
> haven't read the book, and it's very large parts cultural study.
> So Friday night, I get a call from my sister-in-law--wife's sister--and
> it turns out she has an extra ticket to this thing, because her husband,
> my brother-in-law, suddenly can't go, and so, what did I think, did I
> wanna go?  My wife didn't, but hey, there was a dinner involved, with
> carrot cake, followed by a lecture, I was told, on the Enoch Calender,
> which I've never heard of.  It sounded potentially fun and possibly very
> strange, and so I went, met L, my sister-in-law, at this rec center in
> Orem.  Turns out it was very important that I go, not just because L had
> forked out fifteen bucks for the ticket her husband now would not be
> able to use, but also because there had to be exactly 144 people at this
> thing.  They were counting.
> Seems there's this guy, a computer geek/calender expert guy named John
> Pratt.  Very pleasant, genial fellow, looked maybe 55-60.  We're all
> there in the room and we're told we're there to participate in the
> Hebrew Feast of Trumpets, only the Hebrew Feast of Trumpets was actually
> a couple weeks ago, this is the Feast of Trumpets according to the Enoch
> calender.  This is a calender found in the Book of Enoch, not the
> truncated version we get in Moses in the P of GP, but the apocryphal
> work Hugh Nibley got us all excited about twenty five years or so ago.
> Now, I'm gonna try and explain Pratt's beliefs, but I feel like I'm
> describing a movie to you that I actually showed up an hour late for,
> and left after watching it for fifteen minutes.  Most of the people in
> the room (the other 143) have clearly been followers of Pratt for years,
> while I've heard one brief presentation, plus spent a couple hours on
> his website.
> Basically, the stars form a giant celestial calender.  God does things
> according to a very specific chronology, which can be ascertained by
> carefully watching patterns in the sky.  A key to understanding all this
> can be found in the Book of Enoch, in the calender described therein.
> And the most important dates in the history of the world have all
> coincided with holy days in the Enoch calender, usually, I gather, on
> the holy day of a holy year.
> There is, of course, a word for the practice of looking at the stars and
> figuring out the future.  That word is astrology.  Pratt acknowledges
> this on his website, but points out that ancient practices have their
> roots in ancient truths.
> So, based on this stuff, it turns out the First Vision actually took
> place on 26 March, 1820, which is nifty because there are weather
> records that suggest that was the only nice day in the Spring of that
> year.  And it also turns out that 22 Sept. 2002 is a big day, the Feast
> of Trumpets day in the Year, Feast of Trumpets.  Unless I'm going deaf,
> or crazy, Pratt said directly that 22 Sept (yesterday, that is) was the
> day, der tag, the day the seventh seal was opened, though he did point
> out that we might not notice much change immediately, and that we still
> had ten years to repent.
> We then got to see a play.  It wasn't a play; it was a mimetic
> representation of divine events, which according to our latest Victor
> Turner driven understanding of such things means it was actually a
> ritual.  It certainly looked like a ritual.  Program went as follows:
> 1) Pratt's wife sang 'Yo Ho, that I were an Angel."
> 2) Seven young guys wearing white shirts, slacks and robes came out, and
> each blew a trumpet, or pretended to.  They were Peter, the angel Uriel,
> sounding the trump for the Celestial resurrection, Moses, the angel
> Raguel, sounding the trump for the Terrestrial resurrection, Abel, the
> angel Sariel, sounding the trump for the Telestial, Enoch, the angel
> Raphael, trump sounding for the resurrection of the Sons of Perdition
> (that dude got all the thankless tasks), Joseph Smith, the angel
> Phanuel, sounding trump for the Gospel being sent to all, Noah, Gabriel,
> tooting for the destruction of the wicked, and Adam, Mike, sounding
> taps.  I gotta say, BTW, I dig the names.  Raguel--an absolutely divine
> pasta sauce.  And Phanuel, on the premise, I guess, that we're all
> Mormons and hence members of the Joseph Smith phanuel club.
> 3) We all got to listen to a recording of Handel's The Trumpet's Shall
> Sound.
> 4) Angels came back and pronounced individual blessings on us.
> 5) Satan showed up.  Young dude dressed in tan slacks, a dark colored
> shirt and tie, and a black robe, basically what I wear to teach Gospel
> Doctrine, only without the black robe.  Anyway, he showed up and mocked
> 'em all for awhile (insert your own joke here), and then they took out a
> key and a chain and locked him symbolically up and cast him out, hauled
> him off.
> 6) We heard a recording of the Hallelujah chorus.
> 7) We all performed the Hallelujah shout.  This is performed by shouting
> Hallelujah three times, and . . . well, I can't tell you what else.
> Suffice it to say that at least some of the people accompanied the shout
> with an action.  All I can say is that as an endowed member of the
> Church, I found the action inappropriate in this context.
> 8) Closing prayer, and book sales.
> Yes, there's a book.  It's called Divine Calenders: Astronomical
> Witnesses of Sacred Events.  It was on sale for twenty five bucks, so I
> didn't get it.  There's also a website:   I checked it
> out, and read a few of the articles contained therein.
> A few comments.
> This isn't theatre, it's a ritual.  And I thought it was pretty creepy.
> I got a strong feeling this whole thing is veering into a cult type
> thing.
> I read some of the articles.  Pratt cultivates an air of superior
> knowledge, and of esoteric knowledge, which, if you mastered it, would
> make you, well, smarter, more in-the-know than other folks. Would it
> make you somehow special, extra holy, extra spiritual? I'm sure he would
> disavow any such intention.
> I think one of the reasons these kinds of things flourish in Mormonism
> is that we all have a need to feed our inner gnostic.  But when you read
> Pratt carefully, you can see the special pleading, the quick dismissal
> of inconvenient facts, the wresting of evidence, the questionable
> assumptions assumed to be factual.  To the degree that I'm still a
> scholar, it's pretty horrid scholarship.
> They're all real nice folks, I'm afraid.  Whole room full of pleasant
> LDS folks.  I sort of felt right at home, and also weirded out.  My
> sister-in-law is really into this, and that worries me; like, they've
> canceled their life insurance, because, hey, if the Second Coming is
> really in ten years, what's the point?  Satan was ritually bound on
> Friday, but this morning, I checked out, and I don't see much
> sign of it; no peace in the Middle East, violence abounds, Dubya's still
> President.
> I undoubtedly misunderstood quite a bit.  Anyone here ever heard of this
> guy?  But one final comment: the Media depicts Mormons as very white
> bread, bland, conservative, buttoned down, more than a little corporate.
>  If only they knew the deep and all abiding weirdness that lurks under
> the surface of much of Mormon culture.
> Eric Samuelsen
> - --
> AML-List, a mailing list for the discussion of Mormon literature
> <>
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Marc A. Schindler
Spruce Grove, Alberta, Canada -- Gateway to the Boreal Parkland

"The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and
falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark."
--Michelangelo Buonarroti

Note: This communication represents the informal personal views of the author
solely; its contents do not necessarily reflect those of the authorís employer,
nor those of any organization with which the author may be associated.

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