Dear mr Subramani, i entirely agree with your observations. thank you.
with warm regards, Anirban Mukherjee On 12/12/11, Rishi Kewalramani <[email protected]> wrote: > > > Dear Subramani, > > I think you've made some excellent points on this subject. > > Marriage or companionship is an important part of our >> lives, but we shouldn't base our happiness on someone's acceptance or >> rejection of us. no one has the divine >> right to hurt us that way. > > > > Every human being tries to find peace and happiness in the world. Yet none > has succeeded in gaining ever-lasting Happiness. Happiness is not something > that we draw from the external world. For example, a person finds pleasure > in smoking cigarettes while another detests smoking. The cigarette being the > same, produces pleasure to one and pain to another. Again, one wants to > divorce his wife. Another waits anxiously to marry her. The lady being the > same, produces sorrow to one and joy to the other. Hence pleasure or pain, > joy or sorrow is not inherent in the objects or beings of the world. They > are in us. Depending on how we relate to the world outside. > > true happiness lies within us. We will have to find it in our own Self, > whether maried or not. The German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer puts this > idea succinctly: It is difficult to find happiness in oneself but it is > impossible to find it anywhere else. > > > > I'm not suggesting that marriage is not important, but to base our happiness > on it alone is an overstatement. > > Infact, marriage is a very sacred institution wherein we learn to increase > our circle of identification and love, learn the higher value of living with > each other in a spirit of service and sacrifice. > > The experience of love, the expression of this feeling seems to emerge > initially with our partner, our child. We perhaps did not experience it as > clearly until we raised a family. Having generated this noble feeling of > love, let us not restrict it, confine it to the family unit. Let the rays of > our affection radiate all over. Our fondness permeate every being. Our love > pervade the flora and fauna, hills and valleys and fill up the entire > universe. Our home therefore should be the centre and not the boundary of > our affection. > > So yeah as you rightly pointed out, the essential thing is to be happy and > drift like a feather in the > wind, we will find the right tree. Certain things in life are best > left to the control of the divine who has given us the intelligence, > job and position to care for ourselves. > > > And yes, even I'm of the opinion that it makes more sense to prefer a > partner who has a similar challenge,though it is not a rule. > > Thanks for your practical insight, > Loving regards, > Rishi. > ----- Original Message ----- > From: "Subramani L" <[email protected]> > To: <[email protected]> > Sent: Monday, December 12, 2011 8:29 AM > Subject: Re: [AI] Of disclosing 'Disability' before marriage > > >>I do agree marriage or companionship is an important part of our >> lives, but we shouldn't base our happiness on someone's acceptance or >> rejection of us. Of course, it may make us feel disappointed or point >> to our disability, but we are our own person and no one has the divine >> right to hurt us that way. If you think only marriage or getting a >> companion would make you happy, ask those married and they would tell >> you it need not necessarily be true. Getting a life partner is >> something that happens in the process of living, or, those lucky >> amongst us get to spend time with someone chosen for us a lifetime >> learning about her/him. If it happens, it happens. Don't get desperate >> and marry someone to prove a point, this would be disastrous. Also, >> don't get rejections get to you. Believe me, disability is only a >> convenient excuse for many people to reject you. If you really seen as >> someone valuable in some way, surely the person who is able to >> understand that would take you as his/her life partner. Happiness is >> key to everything. If you are complaining and are unhappy, how do you >> expect to let someone know that living with you is the happiest thing? >> So essential thing is to be happy and drift like a feather in the >> wind, you will find the right tree. Certain things in life are best >> left to the control of the divine who has given us the intelligence, >> job and position to care for ourselves. remember, these are the things >> we never thought we would have for ourselves once upon a time (which >> is true for me at least). >> >> Subbu >> >> >> >> >> On 12/11/11, ss sarfudeen <[email protected]> wrote: >>> Dear members. >>> >>> I totally agree with the view expressed by Bhawani Shankar Verma >>> earlier about the plight of the disabled partner irrespective of the >>> gender. It is in fact, worse for the VI women. Whether in love or in >>> marriage, the sighted person at some stage, rejects their disabled >>> partner. Another side of this reality is that even if the sighted >>> person willingly accepts their disabled partner, they get greatly >>> influenced by their family and friends in making their decisions to >>> reject them as these so called family and friends feel that leading a >>> happy married life with a vision impaired person is not possible at >>> all. >>> I am not saying this without any factual evidences. >>> >>> Regards >>> >>> Sultana. >>> >>> >>> Search for old postings at: >>> http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >>> >>> To unsubscribe send a message to >>> [email protected] >>> with the subject unsubscribe. >>> >>> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >>> please >>> visit the list home page at >>> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >>> >>> >> >> >> -- >> L. Subramani, >> Snr. Subeditor, >> Deccan Herald, >> Bangalore, >> M: 91-9886046612 >> >> "You see and ask why? I dream and ask why not?" >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> [email protected] >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >> please visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> > > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > [email protected] > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ To unsubscribe send a message to [email protected] with the subject unsubscribe. 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