Re: Help with hazing issue (may get controversial)
Turtlepower, I'm not advocating a light touch. Not at all. When you do bad things, you need to face consequences. I'm totally behind that. Having this boy suffer consequences for his actions is just, in my opinion. I simply believe it's possible to do both. Get him therapy or whatever, and make him extremely well aware that what he was doing will not be tolerated and isn't going to fly anymore. He deserves to get help if that means he can make things right, but that doesn't mean we can all just hand-wave and forget about the shit he's done. There may be ways to explain it, but explanation and excuse are very, very different things. Also, I agree with you regarding someone in therapy wanting to progress in some way before progress is made. Frankly, we don't know this boy nearly well enough to know whether or not he would want to change if things were put to him the right way. Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn't. He deserves that chance, but what he does with it will determine how things proceed.
Also, for clarity's sake, I feel like the OP mentioned in another thread that they're high-school age (not over 18), so there's no serious repercussion there from a legal standpoint.
I recommend against going public right at this point. Your evidence, thanks to you having the girl delete those messages, is kind of thin on the ground, and you're apt to suffer pretty ridiculous backlash over that (much of it undeserved, I might add). At this point, a lot of what you've got is hearsay, unless other witnesses come forward or unless there's some way to find copies of those messages from elsewhere. You should absolutely still talk to this girl's parents, and to the school, and to the authorities if necessary, but it might be slow, hard going.
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