So I was at a bar a few weeks ago, ran into some friends. There was a girl with them that I hadn't met before. We were talking nice and since we were both single I asked if she wanted to go out sometime. Tonight we met and things were okay until there was an obvious difference of opinion. Basically there are a few things I like to do that she doesn't like at all, mostly hunting and fishing. It was okay for me that she didn't like what I do, I could really care less. It's something I like, I wouldn't force it upon her, I wouldn't ask her to join me or understand what I do.
My problem is that she made it quite clear that if we ever got 'serious', I would HAVE TO stop doing what she didn't like. Actually she was warning me that we would get close and THEN she would slowly but surely make me stop what I was doing. For her, what I like wasn't a deal breaker because I would stop doing it 'if I really fell for her'. My subject line is misleading in this case, but I have run into this before without the warning. My position has always been: I'll date you as long as we are compatible on the major subjects. If we disagree about small things, so what? That's the spice of life. Men do this more often, but it seems women do it sneakily. They will give those subtle hints that they don't like something, something that they never mention BEFORE the marriage, but now it's 'You're going to play poker with your friends AGAIN? That's the fifth time in the last three years!' Sorry for ranting. My point is: it seems to happen to me a lot and I notice it with my friends. I like to lay all the important things on the table. I'm 34 years old, I don't want to waste time negotiating about religion or politics or being a non-vegetarian. If she doesn't like it tell me now, we' ll either agree to disagree or we'll go our separate ways but now, I don't want it to simmer and become a huge issue two years from now. Kevin T. Then I saw red
