Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobyllllantisiliogogogoch..........
im
not insane,im perfectly normal, tis the rest of u thats mad!!!
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Monday, November 18, 2002 12:40
PM
Subject: [Mwnci Chat] Osama
Osama's AL QUIDA cave manners MEMO
Hi guys.
We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've
really come together
as a group and I love that! However, while we are
fighting a jihad, we
can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I
have a few concerns:
First of all, while it's good to be concerned
about cruise missiles, we
should be even more concerned about the dust in
our cave. We want to avoid
excessive dust inhalation -- a health and
safety issue -- so we need to
sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on
the cleaning rota .... have you?
I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave
reception area (next to the
halal toaster).
Second, it's not often
I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to
scare the shit out of
most of the world's population, okay? That means
that while we're taping,
please do not ride your scooter in the background
or keep doing the
'Wassup' thing. Thanks.
Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea
recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on
the front, and put it on the top shelf.
Today, two of my Dairylea slices
were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm
saying.
Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must
distance
ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. Please do not
chant "Ossy
Ossy Ossy, Oy Oy Oy" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.
Five: Graffiti. To whoever wrote "OSAMA SHAGS DONKEYS" on the group
toilet
wall, it's a lie. The donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving
myself
at the edge of the mountain.
Six: The use of chickens is
strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that
the 'chicken backed into me,
whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of
the mountain' will not be
accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is a
grey area.)
Finally,
we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying
to
infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First
patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar, and Dave.
Love you
lots, Group Hug. Os.
PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen"
scribbled on my laundry bag.
Cut it out, it's not funny
anymore.
