Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobyllllantisiliogogogoch..........
im
not insane,im perfectly normal, tis the rest of u thats mad!!!
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Monday, November 18, 2002 12:40
PM
Subject: [Mwnci Chat] Osama
Osama's AL QUIDA cave manners MEMO
Hi guys.
We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've
really come together
as a group and I love that! However, while we are
fighting a jihad, we
can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly
I have a few concerns:
First of all, while it's good to be concerned
about cruise missiles, we
should be even more concerned about the dust
in our cave. We want to avoid
excessive dust inhalation -- a health and
safety issue -- so we need to
sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on
the cleaning rota .... have you?
I've posted a sign-up sheet near the
cave reception area (next to the
halal toaster).
Second, it's
not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to
scare the
shit out of most of the world's population, okay? That means
that while
we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background
or keep
doing the 'Wassup' thing. Thanks.
Third: Food. I bought a box of
Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on
the front, and put it on the
top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices
were gone. Consideration.
That's all I'm saying.
Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all
that, but we must distance
ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball
games. Please do not chant "Ossy
Ossy Ossy, Oy Oy Oy" when I ride past
on the donkey. Thanks.
Five: Graffiti. To whoever wrote "OSAMA SHAGS
DONKEYS" on the group toilet
wall, it's a lie. The donkey backed into
me, whilst I was relieving myself
at the edge of the mountain.
Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse
that
the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the
edge of
the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys,
there is a
grey area.)
Finally, we've heard that there may be
Western soldiers in disguise trying
to infiltrate our ranks. I want to
set up patrols to look for them. First
patrol will be Omar, Muhammad,
Abdul, Akbar, and Dave.
Love you lots, Group Hug. Os.
PS -
I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag.
Cut
it out, it's not funny anymore.
