Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobyllllantisiliogogogoch..........
im
not insane,im perfectly normal, tis the rest of u thats mad!!!
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Monday, November 18, 2002 12:40
PM
Subject: [Mwnci Chat] Osama
Osama's AL QUIDA cave manners MEMO
Hi guys.
We've all been putting in long hours recently but
we've really come together
as a group and I love that! However, while
we are fighting a jihad, we
can't forget to take care of the cave, and
frankly I have a few concerns:
First of all, while it's good to be
concerned about cruise missiles, we
should be even more concerned
about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid
excessive dust inhalation
-- a health and safety issue -- so we need to
sweep the cave daily.
I've done my bit on the cleaning rota .... have you?
I've posted a
sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the
halal
toaster).
Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I
do, I'm trying to
scare the shit out of most of the world's
population, okay? That means
that while we're taping, please do not
ride your scooter in the background
or keep doing the 'Wassup' thing.
Thanks.
Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly
wrote "Ossy" on
the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of
my Dairylea slices
were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must
distance
ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. Please do
not chant "Ossy
Ossy Ossy, Oy Oy Oy" when I ride past on the donkey.
Thanks.
Five: Graffiti. To whoever wrote "OSAMA SHAGS DONKEYS" on
the group toilet
wall, it's a lie. The donkey backed into me, whilst I
was relieving myself
at the edge of the mountain.
Six: The use
of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that
the
'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of
the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is
a
grey area.)
Finally, we've heard that there may be Western
soldiers in disguise trying
to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up
patrols to look for them. First
patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul,
Akbar, and Dave.
Love you lots, Group Hug. Os.
PS - I'm
sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag.
Cut it
out, it's not funny anymore.
