I'm on an online conferencing system that does private conferences
extremely well - the WELL. I'm not sure how many of the things that
work are generalizable.
The WELL as an online community has been around for over 25 years, so
there's a high level of, well, *community* - many people know each
other in person, and there's a social compact of sorts. The WELL is
not free and is not anonymous, real names only (although a few people
belong under their well-known professional handles), so it is not
plagued with trolls. There are several levels of private conference,
from public ("featured" in WELL parlance) to totally secret. For
example there are featured private conferences for people dealing with
assorted illnesses or family issues, and for men only and women only
(broad definition applies). Since the WELL verifies people's
identities, we don't have to worry about people sneaking in under
false pretenses, and the penalty for breaking confidentiality is
severe and permanent - being kicked out, or off the WELL. In 25 years
I only know of a couple incidents. We also have other private
conferences that are seekrit - you find out about them by being
invited to one (or starting one) These private conferences often
give existing members the chance to privately veto a new member before
being asked.
Obviously, any LOPSA member who wanted to start a seekrit private
email list could do so and only invite their friends. The WELL has
much better tools (hey everybody, come join the WELL, it's a great
place!) but you could do it anywhere. The harder part is having a
publicized private list, because you have to be very clear about what
your membership criteria are. You can't say "nobody's boss" because a
few years and a few job changes down the road, that's all going to
change.
Hm, another public but private list I'm on that has survived pretty
well is Systers, the list for women in computer science (Hey everybody
who's eligible, come join Systers, it's a great list). I've been on
Systers so long that I forget how I was first "vetted" but it's also
been around for a couple of decades at list. It survives through
*extremely* strict moderation, and technology that lets conversations
spin off into separate topics.
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