This is a really nice post, wayback. Right, I am certainly NOT 
advocating rationalizing away another's behavior as a means of 
denial or suppressing our own feelings. Those feelings are worthy of 
our attention. I am only saying that everyone "outside" ourself -- 
be they guru, spouse, or George W. Bush -- is an absolutely innocent 
mirror of our own dramas. 

Clean up our own act and the mirror "miraculously" cleans up as 
well. The "shoulds" and "oughts" we place on others' behavior and on 
Life turn out to be all self-judgement, and once we admit the 
possibility of the "evil" in ourselves that we have been condemning 
out there, it resolves. One way or another, that behavior is no 
longer an issue; I no longer "need" it. 

Just because I no longer know if MMY "is" a con-man or not, doesn't 
mean I am going to write out a $100K check to him. It's just not an 
issue. He is an innocent mirror, not my source and sustenance. 
Everything he was to me, I now am to myself. Byron Katie is one of 
the best at providing a quick and easy means to turn this around.

 --- In [email protected], "wayback71" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> 
wrote:

> > 
> For me, this is an interesting idea.  Has me thinking in a 
different way about the struggle 
> to integrate the opposing aspects of MMY's behavior.  It is not 
hard to see peers, friends 
> and family in shades of gray - that they can be wonderful in some 
ways, average in some 
> aspects, and have significant faults in other ways.  Still, we 
love them. But gurus and 
> enlightened people were supposed to be perfect, or so we once 
thought.  So, I guess you 
> are saying that what we perceive as "faults" in gurus is really 
something else going on, 
> something useful for ourselves and for others.  This is what true 
believers always use to 
> justify  immoral or unpleasant behavior on the guru's part. (I am 
not calling you a true 
> believer, btw.) I think until I myself have the perception to see 
as you do, it is best to go 
> with some sort of balance between mind, heart and gut feelings. 
Keeps it simple and real, 
> and encourages compassion and basic kindness in all of us.  We can 
all stretch our 
> understanding of what we perceive to an extent, but it is 
dangerous to keep doubting and 
> second guessing our own perceptions and feelings beyond a certain 
point. I know you are 
> not advocating that, - in fact you just had your own very real 
experience.  Sounds as if the 
> entire evening was terrific on every level.





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