---In FairfieldLife@yahoogroups.com, <fleetwood_macncheese@...> wrote :
If you want to know how Barry thinks, and how he got so screwed up, there is a free ebook, from someone who was very close to Freddie. The name of the book is: TAKE ME FOR A RIDE Coming Of Age In A Destructive Cult, by Mark E. Laxer. Available on the link that Richard posted. Here are some quotes from the book. When I read them, they sounded strangely familiar. Note: Freddie used to call himself, "Atmananada" (Soul of Love), before he decided he was the final incarnation of Vishnu. The guy sounds VERY CRAZY: Atmananda exposed his Big Nurse nature in other ways. He claimed, for instance, that he had to "press all the right buttons" to help people overcome their resistance to the Light and to him…. He taught me to fear what would happen if I left the Centre. "You know too much to leave. It's a greedy, materialistic world out there. Your soul would be miserable. Besides, the Forces would flatten you like a bug. You would lose thousands of lifetimes of evolution." He taught me to fear, not just the Forces but people, particularly old friends and family. "It's best if you don't tell them what we do here. Believe me, they won't understand. They'll end up blocking your progress and sapping your power.“… ========================================================= "Atmananda," I suddenly announced. "I *saw* the Warriors." Others in the circle soon *saw* them too. Atmananda held desert trips once or twice a month and, by mid-1983, followers *saw* him walking above the ground on a "cushion of light," flying to distant mountains, sending columns of light into the sky, and causing constellations to gyrate and disappear. On one starlit night, Atmananda raised his hands above his head. As he slowly lowered them, he made a low, whistling sound like the wind. "What did you *see*?" he asked afterward. "I didn't *see* anything," one new follower bemoaned. "Advanced psychic vision is necessary to perceive what I am doing… ================================================================== "Are you Rama?" someone asked. "Yes," he replied. "I am Rama, the last incarnation of Vishnu. You people think that I am a person, but I am not. Over the years I watched my various selves fade away. I fought the process tooth and nail--like each of you are doing now. But it was in vain. I could not stop the process of dissolution. I had to admit that I was no longer a person. This morning I suddenly knew who I was. I have been cycling...I am beginning to remember...Eternity has named me Rama...Rama most clearly reflects my strand of luminosity...We're at the end of a cycle...At this time, Vishnu takes incarnation as a person...Vishnu is that aspect of God that preserves and protects life...Rama...the last incarnation of Vishnu..." It is always interesting to read the accounts of head spaces others have occupied. These quotes are revealing, Mac. The button pushing one is classic and the account of the newcomer not seeing anything regarding super powers of poor, deluded, narcissistic Freddie is very telling. No wonder bawee is so reactive now to so much. He is someone who has been well and truly hoodwinked and is about as bitter as you could get. And he still uses the technique Fred used on him and all those involved; push buttons to expose their tendencies, to figure out more about them in order to keep them weak and needing and off balance if you can. bawee is like the abused who will continue to spew his anger and disappointment everywhere he goes - he is now the abuser.