Yet again I see Goa's parochial views come to the fore, as if to prove to the
world that we live in the back of beyond. Everytime the victim or alleged
victim is a young women, Goans seem bent on questioning the parenting skills of
these unfortunate girls.
Goans, please don't wear your hypocrisy on your sleeves. Please, first tell us
where are the fathers and mothers of all those girls that board at Carmels and
other hostels? Are they not young girls too, who are left alone to do as they
please, because their Goan parents work in the Gulf?
Please tell us also where are fathers of all those boys who roam the streets on
their bikes, flashing money and spending like there is no tomorrow? Perhaps
their fathers are onboard ships, bearing the brunt of callous customers.
Perhaps their fathers are enduring the heat of the Arabian sun. In anycase, a
whole generation of young men and women have grown up now, without fathers,
without mothers, in the custody of aging grand-parents, sometimes worse still
left in the care of Carmelite nuns.
We too have been guilty of leaving our children alone, but we've had to do it,
to fill our bellies. perhaps these "foreigners" have their own reasons as to
why they are single-handedly bringing up children. Should we sit in judgement
of them?
As a Goan girl who finished her college in Goa, let me tell you, your sons and
daughters are no better than those of these "foreigners". Your sons and
daughters are doing exactly what these Western girls and boys are doing. Except
you don't know it. And if you do know it, you prefer to blind yourself to the
truth, always assuming that your own Shanna boy or Baby-girl would never do
such a thing. The truth is, adolescent hormones are not so discriminatory. They
run wild in everyone.
As a Goan mother of a small Goan girl, I am no more capable of protecting her
from the pedophiles or the rapists of this world, than I am of stopping the
tide. I cannot hide her from the world, I cannot incarcerate her in an ivory
tower to keep her safe. She has her own life to live, she has her own path and
destiny to find, her own exploration and experimentation to engage in. I can
only wish for her safety. I can only hope that the mothers of sons have done
their job, in raising responsible men.
So please stop blaming "outsiders", they are parents just like you and me,
trying to do their best in this confusing world in which they have little
control.
Best,
Selma
