well rose i wrote you off list but i want to add my 2 cents to this discussion...wally what you say, i couldn't have said it any better...it is all so very very very true...
>>it is the normal reaction of a healthy person who is grieving.<< this is the hardest yet most important place to start...it so important to allow yourself to feel all of those very uncomfortable emotions, whatever comes up!...the only way to get through it is to go through it fully conscious... >>the pain has to burn itself down to ashes and for that you have to feel it when it comes and goes<<< a brilliant way of describing the process...if you allow the pain to burn instead of trying to put it out through numbing yourself to it, it will eventually burn itself out...otherwise it will smolder inside you remain inside of you in ways that are not healthy... >>it's almost like a bad cold. only you learn very little about yourself from bad colds, while these events in our lives are the sources of the most profound self-examination and learning.<< yes, & in the process which does take time, there are many helpful ways to deal with the pain as it is burning through you....excercise (dance, running, etc), journal writing, playing or listening to music...these things can help move the process along rather than just stagnate inside you...depending on your inclination these things can help you process the feelings & help you to get them out... having responsibilities when you'd rather just lie in bed acutally helps a lot too...a job you have to go to, children & animals who rely on you...these things help to force you to maintain at least on the outside a normal life even when you are hurting so much inside...but it is always important to take time away from these things, to allow yourself whatever time you need for your self alone or with others so that you can just allow yourself to be in & process the pain... >>if this change has come to your life, it is because your life will be better. death and rebirth in one's own lifetime is a gift that not everybody is given....and yet, i can tell you all these things because i believe them, because they have happened to me and because they are natural. welcome change, however deeply it may hurt. it means that you are slowly getting ready for something special.<< this is as true as anything i know...& i can say so because i too have experienced it...i agree these grieving times are a gift...all of these emotions are a gift of becoming more human than you ever imagined was possible & the result of allowing all this to take place is that you will also be visited at times by periods of such amazing grace & insight... ******************************************** Kate Bennett: www.katebennett.com Sponsored by Polysonics/Atlantis Sound Labs Over the Moon- "bringing the melancholy world of twilight to life almost like magic" All Music Guide ********************************************
