Anger takes on many shades, gruff, and degrees of intensity as well.
In that respect I try to identify the anger, classify the anger and
then have a better chance of resolving it.  Angers involving the past
are the easiest for me to deal with because I view life as being a
roll of film with every moment of life being a new frame. It is easily
perceived that I don't want to take pictures of the same subject
matter as that would simply be wasting film.  Therefore the past
experience which used up a large portion of the film is no longer
viable as a new experience and should be archived. What others did in
the past that negatively affected my life no longer pertains to my
life since I had become that individual person that creates the
future.  To think that if (A) didn't happen then I wouldn't be living
(B) is wasteful energy because no one really knows what is going to
happen in life.  For some people when (A) did happen it ultimately
cost them their lives.  Perhaps we, through certain events in life,
are saved from undergoing something worse than the present condition
that we perceive undesirable as a result of (A).  Through this
reasoning I am able to simply dismiss the experience as just that, an
experience, one which I cannot change but can look at as having some
value.   It is like the 1990 movie, Mr. Destiny, check it out if you
can.
Anger of course is a subject that requires more examination and I
don't mean to trivialize it in any way.  I just want to at least
scratch the surface of how I view anger and how I deal with it, which
in a sense coincides with how I deal with many other things, through
logical reasoning.  Anger serves no purpose in my life and
accomplishes nothing, so naturally I want to do away with it.

On Jan 6, 10:34 am, gruff <[email protected]> wrote:
> "... On Jan 2, 9:04 am, Molly Brogan<[email protected]> 
> wrote: ..."
>
> and Slip Disc too ...
>
> > Why worry about what others think, do, say?  Why feel the need to
> > conform to trends, ideologies, etc.?  If I think instead about my
> > relationship to them, (how do they serve my day to day life, when I am
> > in service to them am I feeling my highest potential, in what ways do
> > I benefit and contribute, what do they show me about myself, can I
> > feel the love?) I can let go of what is limited and unchangeable.  I
> > think most of all, Gruff, about you, and how the world has let you
> > down.  Your relationship to all that is so much more important than
> > anything that was said and done.  You are MORE than any of that...and
> > there can be a relationship that includes forgiveness, compassion and
> > self determination.  I truly believe that the state of mind we are in
> > when we leave this world is what carries us into what is next.  If we
> > can find our way to self love, peace and harmony in our final
> > moment ... we may just find that the rest of what the world offered us
> > in this life falls away from our next experience.
>
> Thank you Molly, but the world has not let me down.  If anything I've
> let myself down.  Actually I was really quite blase about my lot in
> life until I was in my mid-forties.  I had just accepted what was and
> enjoyed life as much as possible.  Basically I had gone through those
> first forty someodd years avoiding responsibility like it was the
> plague.  It was how I dealt with life.  When things got tough, I
> packed up and left for new places.   I had no idea who or what I was
> or where I was going.  Nor did it matter.  I guess it was a case of
> coming from nothing so I had nothing to go to.  The only thing that
> puzzled me was that I had learned over time that I was pretty
> intelligent.  I couldn't figure out where it came from because I'd
> seen nothing but ignorance and stupidity in my immediate family.
>
> But then I got on the Internet and ran my family name in AltaVista
> (are they even still around?) and found the lost half of my family --
> my father's side -- the Tomchin clan.   It immediately became clear
> where my intelligence and talent came from.  The Tomchins were all
> successful business people, lawyers, artists, etc.  A whole lot of
> things became clear to me and anomalous pieces fell into place.  For
> instance, finding out after my father died that he could play
> classical piano.  That was so freaking out of place to me given what
> I'd known about him, but the Internet cleared all that up.  Talent and
> intelligence are genetic to the degree that is where I got mine.
> There was never any sign of either in my mother's family.  They were
> clodhopping lowlife from all I can tell.
>
> This discovery on the 'net was a turning point in my life.  I finally
> understood a lot about myself ... at least a lot of the whys and
> wherefores.  I began contacting various members of my father's family
> but was always rebuffed.  Then I put the pieces together and concluded
> that I'd inherited my intelligence and assorted talents genetically
> but I couldn't discern what it was that made my father's family disown
> him -- or perhaps even back further than that to my paternal
> grandfather.  Hell it could even go generations back.  Jews hold
> grudges for a long time it seems.  At least the Jews in my father's
> family did.  I don't suppose I'll ever find out why my father was
> rejected and disowned but it's probably something simple -- that he
> married my mother even.
>
> But the turn that I took was to become very angry .. not that the
> world had let me down but rather that my father's family were so
> brutal and unforgiving.  They obviously knew talent and intelligence
> and knew how to nurture it so that it would blossom into
> accomplishment.  That was denied me and I'm very angry about it and
> can't seem to get past the anger.
>
> So it's anger I've got to deal with -- which is not anything that
> should evoke sorry and pity.  I'd really like to get over it.  I don't
> want to die angry.  I don't think that's the best state of mind to be
> in for dying.  As I've said many times in other posts: I'm fully
> convinced that one's state of mind at the moment of death is of
> penultimate importance and anger's not the right state.
>
> So no sympathy or sorrow please.  However, if anyone can enlighten me
> how to get rid of anger, I'm all ears.  (Eyes actually since there's
> no sound here but the tapping of my fingers on the keyboard.)  Thanks
> for all your input and consideration.  I'm very comfortable here.
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