I have found that not everyone responds to love. Unfortunately. I think what Vam is saying is that an expression of anger can be a useful tool in establishing distance and removing unwanted behavior of others from your immediate experience. I will admit, when all else fails, I will resort to an angry response and am amazed at how it gets the job done. I do, always, as Slip says, regret that an expression of love was not able to resolve the issue. I always feel better that way. These angry responses usually have other long term consequences, as anger is always a barrier to communication and relationship.
But this choosing anger as a response when loving means have failed is quite different than angry reactions. There is also the danger of overusing the angry response because it is expedient, and not exploring other options. If you can't be bothered with giving anything other than an angry response, you are actually having an angry reaction, and are probably developing that addiction to anger. All that being said, I also think that somewhere along the line, we need to completely feel our angry voice and know that we are free to express it, before we can choose to not express it and give the loving response. This paradoxical process keeps us from acruing shadow, and repressing those parts of ourselves that may be deemed inappropriate, just because of the fear of not being appropriate (whatever that is.) Like the warrior, who knows he can deal the fatal blow, but chooses not to - we all have peaceful warriors within us that we need to fully own. To do this, we must first know the warrior. On Jan 10, 6:53 am, Slip Disc <[email protected]> wrote: > Yet but another riddle. I concede my riddle proficiency is lacking. > Perhaps you can expand, but then again riddles usually fall apart when > expanded and no longer qualify as one. How exactly does anger keep > someone from blowing cigarette smoke in the face of a woman and child > on the street? I find love more fruitful than anger and I'm sure that > love can as well keep someone from blowing cigarette smoke in my face, > so I would opt to resort to love over anger which is a detriment to my > well being. > > On Jan 9, 10:15 pm, Vamadevananda <[email protected]> wrote: > > > No, SD, it isn't just that. Anger can be fruitful. It saves the woman > > and the child in the street, or yourself from someone blowing > > cigarette smoke in your face ! > > > On Jan 9, 10:02 pm, Slip Disc <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > Slip is, of course, right and wrong at the same time > > > about the fruitlessness of anger - other posts show he is well aware > > > of this. There is always the return of desire and no doubt this would > > > be less important if we were really more tolerant. <<archy > > > > For the wrong part I'm assuming you mean for those individuals who > > > derive a great sense of accomplishment from their actions based on > > > their anger in which case it is assumed that their anger was > > > fruitful. Considering the ramifications of their anger beyond that of > > > their own personal life, I would still contend that it was not > > > fruitful as others had to suffer the consequences of their anger. ie; > > > suicide bomber. > > > There must be a differentiating line between individual and group > > > perspective concerning anger. > > > > On Jan 9, 4:49 am, archytas <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > I came across an old tome whilst preparing to decorate a bedroom. > > > > (Leemings, Joseph (1953) Riddles, Riddles, Riddles, New York: Franklin > > > > Watts, Inc.) > > > > > What does a man love more than life? > > > > Hate more than death or mortal strife? > > > > That which contented men desire, > > > > The poor have, the rich require, > > > > The miser spends, the spendthrift saves, > > > > And all men carry to their graves? > > > > (Leemings, 1953, 201) > > > > > The answer, Nothing, can only be seen through a kaleidoscope of > > > > equivocations. > > > > > There was a time when I thought anger and the kind of message the poem > > > > can give were to be avoided because they would lead to bamboozlement - > > > > now I think feelings and riddles can help us avoid the worst of cold > > > > rhetoric and what that hides. Of course, anger (and other emotions) > > > > in the hands of violent idiots and so on, or the spin doctor, are not > > > > the answer. Slip is, of course, right and wrong at the same time > > > > about the fruitlessness of anger - other posts show he is well aware > > > > of this. There is always the return of desire and no doubt this would > > > > be less important if we were really more tolerant. > > > > > On 8 Jan, 16:46, Slip Disc <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > I find that much anger is a first reaction to a negative action, > > > > > whether self induced or externally sourced. We can make a wrong > > > > > decision that results in a negative outcome which displeases us to the > > > > > point of anger or someone else can do something to bring about the > > > > > anger. Either way there is a point where the anger can be identified > > > > > and controlled before it actually takes place. It is at this point > > > > > that we can cancel the outward expression of the anger and accept the > > > > > cause, while at the same time making mental note of it. This is when > > > > > others notice and may state, "I thought you would blow your top about > > > > > it, what happened". The anger was pre-diagnosed and canceled. > > > > > It is very rare that someone will act out in anger when the anger has > > > > > been pre-diagnosed, ie; "If he does that I'm going to get really > > > > > mad". In this case the recipient of the negative action has > > > > > identified, classified, and is dealing with the anger before it > > > > > actually takes place. When the action actually takes place the > > > > > recipient confirms it but no longer has to act out the anger because > > > > > it was already subconsciously acted on and there is no longer need to > > > > > react to it. This of course is confined to future anticipatory angers > > > > > which are the easiest to deal with. > > > > > Anger that involves past history is not easily disposed of because it > > > > > was remains unresolved in the subconscious. These subconscious past > > > > > history angers need to be processed. My personally means of process as > > > > > I stated above involves the use of a camera film which becomes > > > > > analogous with the life experience. I look at the batch of photos, > > > > > put them in the shoe box and put it away on a shelf in the garage. > > > > > Gone are the memories, gone are the angers. A first reaction may be > > > > > anger but later it can be humorous. We must realize the fruitlessness > > > > > of anger and it's detrimental consequence. > > > > > Another method I use is the verbal repetition of the negative action. > > > > > ie; Friend tells you "Bob took the keys to your car a smash it into a > > > > > pole", at which time you sit down and repeat several times " Bob took > > > > > the keys to my car and smashed it into a pole". Repeating this > > > > > several times delays the reaction time and allows one to create a > > > > > visual picture of the incident which then becomes part of the > > > > > "processing". There is nothing you can do to change the picture, > > > > > ranting, raving and chopping off your finger won't help, so that > > > > > leaves continuing the process and letting the action complete it's > > > > > cycle. Bob get's arrested, your car get's towed off, and the > > > > > insurance company picks up the tab. Eliminating the anger makes for a > > > > > better experience. It is not as easy as it sounds and requires > > > > > practice with many levels and degrees of anger, however, starting off > > > > > small can make a difference. Next time you burn something in the oven > > > > > try laughing about it instead of blowing your top. > > > > > > On Jan 8, 3:33 am, archytas <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > I'm a bit inclined to think we should be angry with the way of the > > > > > > world. This is a complex matter though, as one of the tricks of > > > > > > establishments is about making us angry so that we make fools of > > > > > > ourselves or at least can be made so in their traps. The time to do > > > > > > what Molly points out directly above is often denied us. > > > > > > > On 7 Jan, 18:13, Molly Brogan <[email protected]> > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > Anger is hard to nail down because it is really a secondary > > > > > > > emotion, > > > > > > > often attached to insecurity, defensiveness, defiance, etc. It > > > > > > > can be > > > > > > > addictive too, as rage-aholics are all too common. Addictive, > > > > > > > because > > > > > > > it can be (paradoxically) a more comfortable and predictable > > > > > > > emotion > > > > > > > than say joy, that might require intimacy and sharing in > > > > > > > relationship, > > > > > > > behaviors that can be scary to someone feeling insecure or > > > > > > > defiant. > > > > > > > Anger creates distance between us and the world, and often moves > > > > > > > from > > > > > > > being a natural signal for us to examine a situation, to the > > > > > > > reaction > > > > > > > of choice because, after all, it is always effective in creating > > > > > > > that > > > > > > > distance. If we fancy ourselves a victim of villain (or even > > > > > > > hero) > > > > > > > anger is a useful weapon to create this drama. > > > > > > > > Each of us is charged with examining our emotional make us and > > > > > > > choosing our responses to the world. An important part of self > > > > > > > image > > > > > > > to be sure, and only we can do it. > > > > > > > > On Jan 6, 8:57 pm, Slip Disc <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > > > > > Anger takes on many shades, gruff, and degrees of intensity as > > > > > > > > well. > > > > > > > > In that respect I try to identify the anger, classify the anger > > > > > > > > and > > > > > > > > then have a better chance of resolving it. Angers involving > > > > > > > > the past > > > > > > > > are the easiest for me to deal with because I view life as > > > > > > > > being a > > > > > > > > roll of film with every moment of life being a new frame. It is > > > > > > > > easily > > > > > > > > perceived that I don't want to take pictures of the same subject > > > > > > > > matter as that would simply be wasting film. Therefore the past > > > > > > > > experience which used up a large portion of the film is no > > > > > > > > longer > > > > > > > > viable as a new experience and should be archived. What others > > > > > > > > did in > > > > > > > > the past that negatively affected my life no longer pertains to > > > > > > > > my > > > > > > > > life since I had become that individual person that creates the > > > > > > > > future. To think that if (A) didn't happen then I wouldn't be > > > > > > > > living > > > > > > > > (B) is wasteful energy because no one really knows what is > > > > > > > > going to > > > > > > > > happen in life. For some people when (A) did happen it > > > > > > > > ultimately > > > > > > > > cost them their lives. Perhaps we, through certain events in > > > > > > > > life, > > > > > > > > are saved from undergoing something worse than the present > > > > > > > > condition > > > > > > > > that we perceive undesirable as a result of (A). Through this > > > > > > > > reasoning I am able to simply dismiss the experience as just > > > > > > > > that, an > > > > > > > > experience, one which I cannot change but can look at as having > > > > > > > > some > > > > > > > > value. It is like the 1990 movie, Mr. Destiny, check it out > > > > > > > > if you > > > > > > > > can. > > > > > > > > Anger of course is a subject that requires more examination and > > > > > > > > I > > > > > > > > don't mean to trivialize it in any way. I just want to at least > > > > > > > > scratch the surface of how I view anger and how I deal with it, > > > > > > > > which > > > > > > > > in a sense coincides with how I deal with many other things, > > > > > > > > through > > ... > > read more » --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups ""Minds Eye"" group. 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