> Again, yes it is my opinion. But are you suggesting that my opinion
> is any less than your own? As regards blaming the victim, I'm not.
> That is your perception of my words which again is your opinion.
No, I am suggesting that in my professional training and work with
county and state agencies that work strictly with children who have
been sexually abused, this is the case.
> As I said, I am not blaming anyone. I am merely stating observations
> and my opinion of them. I try to be as non-judgmental as possible.
My suggestion is, you might have a different opinion if you had better
facts.
> I'm sorry but you can't know that with any certainty at all outside of
> today's mindset.
It is basic child psychology and the outreach programs of child
protective services and child abuse intervention are based on it.
I can hear similar screaming and ranting not that long ago
> regarding same-sex relationships,
Not at all the same as relationships between child and adult.
Children are not yet able to be completely rational. They have not
yet formed their beliefs of trust and authority. They are subject to
the rules and laws of the adult world without question. Not at all
the same as a relationship between two adults of the same sex.
> > A healthy environment provides safety and support for children.
>
> Yes it does and that does not preclude a sexual environment (except in
> today's dysfunctional world.).
A sexual environment for a child?
> > There is no response by and adult in
> > kind that would not traumatize them further except respectful refusal
> > of sexual interaction and support of the psychological process that
> > brings the child to the moment and perhaps the psychoanalysis that
> > would allow them to move beyond the behavior into a more self
> > respecting frame of mind.
> Again, this is but your own opinion. There are many who do not
> believe it to be so.
I'd be interested to see some reputable sitings.
>
> As a further aside, how do you know that the rejection by 'respectful
> refusal" would not cause the child trauma as well.
You are being argumentative. The answer is obvious.
> And why do you see a child's sexual curiosity to be a form of self-
> disrespecting behavior that requires psychoanalysis?
I don't think that sexual curiosity is disrespectful. I think that a
child and adult having sex is disrespectful for all involved.
> I think you can't deal with this issue objectively, Molly.
Then you don't know much about me. I worked with families and
children for the county and state (illinois), as I said, for the first
ten years of my professional life, establishing programs and resources
in schools and local municipalities. I worked directly with many of
these children and parents, and saw first hand the trauma to these
children that took years to heal.
Perhaps
> you suffered some trauma in this area yourself and it is clouding your
> mind.
Very condescending, gruff. No, I am lucky enough to say that this was
not one of the issues left for me from childhood to sort out in
midlife. You have been forthcoming enough in this group so I know you
have some of your own. It would be easy enough for me to wonder if
this is not what clouds your examination of the issue as well. No, I
have held the hand and wiped the tears of enough children and parents
and adults still trying to get past the trauma to know what it can
bring. I have enough professional experience to know the psychology
of it.
Perhaps a better question for us to be asking is whether of not it is
immoral to teach our children to disassociate sex from love and
intimacy. Children between the ages of 12 and 18 are more sexually
active than ever before, and many consider oral sex not really sex but
a means to popularity. I know this from working with my county's
(LaCasa) sexual assault program. I convinced my childrens school
district to allow their child assault prevention programs (as I was
the school Prevention Specialist and created and coordinated all the
prevention programs.) While children are curious about sex, can we
teach them that expressing sexuality within a loving and intimate
relationship is the most - as you say -"healthy."
Some would argue that there is nothing wrong with mechanical sex, and
the physical act of sex alone is healthy. Does it, indeed, have
anything to do with morality?
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