Yes indeed damaged goods! My financial situation was not good in the begining but I worked hard and put myself through college while working full time and it improved. I had intended for her to do the same but she apparently had made a new plan during the course of it. In the end I had no fight left in me so I just moved out (over 500 miles away) and sent money as much as I could. I wasn't able to find employment comparable to the government job I had resigned from so she put me through the court system for child support and got it based on my govt. pay. That's all good as I want my children to have everything and more in life but it's quite a challenge financially again. I'm not fit for much more than being a boy toy for most women I have dated. Currently, the young lady I have been dating, wants much more than I can give her at this time and I don't know if we can weather out the storm. She's 'in love' with me and I'm not sure I can define that.
On Jun 29, 12:46 am, Don Johnson <[email protected]> wrote: > I'd say that's what marriage counseling is for but since you said you were > poor I'm guessing insurance was a problem. Your words here reflect my > feelings about my ex and our time together as well. The difference is > neither of us are interested in getting back together. The anger and hurt > may be gone but resentment never truly dies. I was too young to get married > and I think I still am at 43. Like you, it's an emotional(and financial in > my case) choice I'm not prepared to make. Probably ever. Damaged goods I > think is the term. > > dj > > On Sat, Jun 26, 2010 at 9:41 AM, DarkwaterBlight > <[email protected]>wrote: > > > > > Truly I did have expectations, in the begining of my marriage, that > > were the fairy tale type. Reality struck hard early on in our > > realtionship, we were both poor and from dysfunctional backrounds. We > > were very aware of the pitfalls in life and dated 4 years before > > getting married. When we finally did get married, she was 5 months > > pregnant. We have three children who are 4 yearrs apart in age now and > > our youngest is going to be 9. We were, (and probably still are) in > > love. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me so it's really hard to > > explain. I know that she would have me back and I would too but it > > makes absolutely no sense. There is no logical explaination I can give > > but I will never allow myself to feel that way about another woman > > because it is too painful. Emotionally draining, we literally sucked > > the life out of each other. > > > On Jun 26, 12:33 am, ashok tewari <[email protected]> wrote: > > > It does, Slip, but does not indicate if the case was one of fairy tale > > > expectations from relationships in ' love,' to start with. > > > > On Sat, Jun 26, 2010 at 5:00 AM, Slip Disc <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > All cultural disparity aside, Vam, the "imho" (in my humble opinion) > > > > clearly indicates the subjectivity in the statement. > > > > > On Jun 25, 4:49 pm, vamadevananda <[email protected]> wrote: > > > > > " Imho, being 'in love' is, as Arch says, a fairy tale." > > > > > > Wouldn't it be more accurate to state that of ' love,' as you or Arch > > > > > understand or mean it ! ? It would be a great service to let your > > > > > readers know that and, better still, to actually state what you > > > > > understand or what your ' love ' means to you, as in what it does to > > > > > you, how it affects you, what place it has in your hierarchy of > > > > > values ? > > > > > > For instance, if you've fallen for the fairy tale kind of love, you > > > > > will end up with disappointments appropriate to fairy tale kind of > > > > > love ! > > > > > > And, this isn't semantics. > > > > > > On Jun 25, 7:29 pm, DarkwaterBlight <[email protected]> > > wrote: > > > > > > > I guess depending on how fast you want to travel it could be both! > > I' > > > > > > have been reluctant to reply to this thread but I do share some of > > > > > > your views PSK. Truth is that I have been married for close to 20 > > > > > > years now but I have not lived with my wife for clos to 5 years. We > > > > > > are both much happier than we were when we lived together. I have > > had > > > > > > a few long term relationships since and they were just too much for > > me > > > > > > personally. I have a GF now and she wants to pin me down, I feel > > > > > > smothered. We lived together for a while and I wound up > > excomunicating > > > > > > her from the solice of my abode. We are still 'together' but during > > > > > > the course of our 1 year relationship I have had (and still do > > have) a > > > > > > few different partners including her best friend who has shared our > > > > > > bed on different occasions. She want's monagamy until we GET > > MARRIED! > > > > > > Imagine that! I'm still married to the mother of my children and I > > > > > > don't see that changing. Polyamorous relationships ARE possible but > > it > > > > > > takes complete transparancy and a strong commitment to your > > > > > > 'significant' other. I, however transparent I may be, can only be > > > > > > commited to being a father and a good friend! I love her and all of > > > > > > the women who I have 'known' equally. The love that some women > > require > > > > > > I cannot and will not provide. Too emotional and without logic! > > Imho, > > > > > > being 'in love' is, as Arch says, a fairy tale. > > > > > > > On Jun 25, 5:33 am, "pol.science kid" <[email protected]> > > wrote: > > > > > > > > Thats the beauty isnt it..our own separatre roads..running > > parrallel > > > > to some > > > > > > > at some point departing ..reconnecting again...intersecting with > > > > some...or > > > > > > > is it more like a river... > > > > > > > > On Fri, Jun 25, 2010 at 12:09 PM, vamadevananda < > > > > [email protected]>wrote: > > > > > > > > > You have to take your own journey forward, your way, with your > > > > desires > > > > > > > > and ideas, and your suppositions or beliefs. That learning > > curve > > > > can > > > > > > > > hardly be progressed upon by wishing, opinionation or > > argumentation > > > > on > > > > > > > > a discussion forum. Make your choices, have the experience, and > > > > know > > > > > > > > and conclude for yourself ! > > > > > > > > > I've stated my conclusions, from my experience and > > understanding. > > > > > > > > > On Jun 25, 11:19 am, "pol.science kid" <[email protected]> > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > and is it not possible to celebrate that oneness in the > > > > multitudes.. why > > > > > > > > > settle down.. i do not say.. have a string of affairs...wat i > > am > > > > saying > > > > > > > > here > > > > > > > > > is.. that completeness can come by sharing with more than > > one.. > > > > two does > > > > > > > > not > > > > > > > > > always have to form a single unit.. it can be three or four > > or > > > > > > > > watever...wat > > > > > > > > > we are told mostly.. there is the one for you...but that is > > not > > > > wat i > > > > > > > > want > > > > > > > > > to believe nor will i believe it.. it is circumstances that > > make > > > > us > > > > > > > > settle > > > > > > > > > for one... > > > > > > > > > > On Thu, Jun 24, 2010 at 4:09 PM, vamadevananda < > > > > [email protected] > > > > > > > > >wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > The point, Kid, is in this oneness we see everywhere, as in > > > > apparent > > > > > > > > > > unit systems such as you and I, a pond or mountain, a pig > > and a > > > > tree, > > > > > > > > > > atom or organs. There is one - ness, unity, evident in each > > > > > > > > > > individuation, having a form and qualities, properties and > > > > aspects, > > > > > > > > > > character or personality ... individualised being. > > > > > > > > > > > The diversity of such ' ones ' is mind boggling. But we > > come to > > > > see > > > > > > > > > > their interconnections as we widen our scale of view, over > > > > space and > > > > > > > > > > time. And lo, we discover other ' units ' in biospheres, > > > > Himalayas, > > > > > > > > > > oceans, continents ... earth, solar systems, galaxies ... > > > > universe. > > > > > > > > > > The universe is the One ... Universe. > > > > > > > > > > > In the context of your post, ALL of us have problems with > > > > settling > > > > > > > > > > down with one, or as One. But since they are each in the > > same > > > > line of > > > > > > > > > > truth, some of us see the merit in each, try hard to retain > > in > > > > memory > > > > > > > > > > all the time, untill the segregating or dissipating forces > > in > > > > our > > > > > > > > > > psychic world relent and let our experience and > > understanding > > > > > > > > > > complete. > > > > > > > > > > > I have spoken of our higher nature and I am partial towards > > it. > > > > That's > > > > > > > > > > when we are comfortable with one, as one. Studies in > > clinical > > > > > > > > > > psychology and psychosomatics, yoga and meditation, confirm > > the > > > > > > > > > > wellness it offers. That leaves you free and uncluttered, > > happy > > > > and > > > > > > > > > > good. Even officials in the police department respect that. > > > > > > > > > > > At any point in time, not everybody is capable of it; some > > > > might not > > > > > > > > > > want it. And many are not aware of it, at least enough to > > > > choose > > > > > > > > > > it ! > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 24, 2:36 am, "pol.science kid" < > > [email protected]> > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > and your point is?? > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 23, 1:33 am, vamadevananda <[email protected] > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > Do you know what a system ( closed or open ) is, Kid ? > > > > > > > > > > > > > The Universe is a system ( not sure if it closed or > > open ), > > > > in > > > > > > > > which > > > > > > > > > > > > everything else is included. It is One, quite apart > > from > > > > each being > > > > > > > > or > > > > > > > > > > > > all beings it includes, not excluding the ones now or > > yet > > > > > > > > unmanifest ! > > > > > > > > > > > > > On Jun 22, 1:26 am, "pol.science kid" < > > > > [email protected]> > > > > > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I have a hard time believing when someone tells me > > that > > > > they have > > > > > > > > > > > > > found the one... what does it mean anyway..The one.. > > why > > > > does it > > > > > > > > > > thave > > > > > > > > > > > > > to be one...I believe that people can and do fall in > > love > > > > with > > > > > > > > more > > > > > > > > > > > > > than one person at the same time...and that is why i > > am > > > > opposed > > > > > > > > to > > > > > > > > > > > > > marriage as an institution...a promise to be with > > each > > > > other > > > > > > > > > > > > > forever!...I think open relationships are much > > > > better..there is > > > > > > > > no > > > > > > > > > > > > > emotional burden...Also sexual and emotional intimacy > > > > does not > > > > > > > > always > > > > > > > > > > > > > have to be in one single package.. i do not see > > adultery > > > > as > > > > > > > > something > > > > > > > > > > > > > horrible...and i really resented the way media made > > an > > > > example of > > > > > > > > > > > > > Tiger woods and his many affairs...so wat he slept > > with > > > > many > > ... > > read more »- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text -
